blueidgrl75 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years. Married for only 4 however. I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage. He has grown children as we have an age difference of 22 yrs. We have always had some kind of connection that no one understood. However he's not a talker. He's not outgoing, I am. I have always been ok with that, but lately our relationship has been very strained. Due to finances and lack of communication it's like we are strangers. He doesn't say much to my children either. There is not any loving relationship between him and them and that is very bothersome as well. Well he recieved a phone call from someone stating I was having an affair and he didn't say anything about the call, he went about our day and then that evening he was tossing and turning and so he got up and I asked what was wrong and he accused me then went to the other room. I followed him as I was shocked and after arguing he became violent. He hurt me pretty bad. He's since not living with me and has started counseling. My question is that has anyone ever been hit once and it never happen again? We have been in contact and I have told him what's been lacking in our relationship and if he did think I was having an affair could he blame me because he wasn't giving me ANYTHING, emotional, physical or mental. Is there a way this can be saved and do I now have to worry that he may hit me again. He's an older man and I would've never thought of any man I knew that he could become violent and then this happened. Should I try to work on this? I am concerned with future abuse and also for the fact that I've been telling him for the last couple of years that he needs to work on his relationship with my girls and he's never tried until now. He said he will do anything. I think he's just saying that because he wants me back. Has anyone had any similiar experiences? I do love him but I am afraid that any change may only be temporary as he used to say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but now he said he realizes that he will lose me forever. HELP
brightlights Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 I think anyone who was capable of hitting someone in an abusive way is capable of doing it again. For your own safety you shouldn't put yourself and your daughters in that predicament because it is a deadly cycle and they always apologize, but go back to the same old thing eventually. My aunt was in that cycle for over 20 years and it started very innocently as she puts it, but over time escalated. I know it hard to not be with the person you love and have been with for such a long time, but some habits are too dangerous to continue, and your daughters should be your motivating factor to start this new page in your life. I hope your able to sort this out and find some peace for the future.
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