I find it ignorant when people say "He or she can do better" just based on looks

[AD1980]

Classism is discrimination against somebody based on economic standing or their rung on the social ladder. Blue collar/white collar, for example. An attorney feeling superior to a cashier.

 

Attractiveness classism would be discrimination based on a person's level of attractiveness. Someone who is very hott will be treated much differently than someone very plain, and it's not likely that someone very attractive will date someone very plain. Just like an attorney might not date a cashier. OBVIOUSLY, it does happen, but we're speaking in generalities here.

 

I think attractiveness classism does exist in our society. Again, not saying it's right or wrong, just saying that it is.

 

Personally, I have to be attracted to someone in order to date them, but beyond that I don't care if they're a 6 or a 10.

 

Make sense? What do you guys think?

 

Great points..Its almost as if we look at really good looking people as better people when they did nothing to accomplish that they jus got lucky genetics..

 

I agree physical attraction has to be there at least somehwat in a relationship but as you said doesnt matter if its a 10 or 6 as long as theres some level of attraction..

 

I gues it can also work against really good loking people allto of people might be jealous of them..

 

You dont find it much with men but women can be catty and compettive and some seem to think theyres only abouut 10 good men in the whole world and fight over the same guys so they think they need to put down any women they feel is a threat..

[clv0116]

Great points..Its almost as if we look at really good looking people as better people when they did nothing to accomplish that they jus got lucky genetics..

 

Really fast horses are better horses, even though they just got better genetics. "Just" having better genetics is almost the definition of being better, at least in one way.

[Phateless]

Really fast horses are better horses, even though they just got better genetics. "Just" having better genetics is almost the definition of being better, at least in one way.

 

That's a good point. Physiologically, genetics are really the main draw of mating. It's socialization and survival that makes other factors relevant.

 

Good looks are not the only factor, but they certainly are a large factor, whether people admit it or not. Now that's not to say that looks can't be overcome; confidence, charm, charisma, humor, money, etc, can all be ways that a plain looking guy can win over a beautiful girl, but most of the time it will be a good-looking guy who gets the good-looking girl.

[Els]

I agree with AD. In fact, my annoyance at such 'league/ladder theories' isn't only restricted to looks - I find it equally annoying when people base it on money/career/talents/social skills/etc. I think it's horribly judgemental, ignorant, and shallow of anyone to say so, especially when we don't know the people involved all that well.

[Isolde]

Yeah, seriously. I want to be happy for people that are happy, and I want to find that happiness, myself. How I decide what makes me happy, isn't anyone else's business.

[AD1980]

but most of the time it will be a good-looking guy who gets the good-looking girl.

 

Yes which is natural but beyond evne relationships treating people better in general because theyre attractive is kinda stupid..

[Phateless]

I agree with AD. In fact, my annoyance at such 'league/ladder theories' isn't only restricted to looks - I find it equally annoying when people base it on money/career/talents/social skills/etc. I think it's horribly judgemental, ignorant, and shallow of anyone to say so, especially when we don't know the people involved all that well.

 

I think you're misunderstanding. Those theories are not absolutes, they are GENERALITIES. Just because the trend is valid does not mean it applies to you or me personally.

 

Those theories are about social psychology and group dynamics. Overall, I'd say they're true. That doesn't mean they're true for all people, but IN GENERAL, I think they fit. In general, people are shallow.

[BCCA]

I think you're misunderstanding. Those theories are not absolutes, they are GENERALITIES. Just because the trend is valid does not mean it applies to you or me personally.

 

Those theories are about social psychology and group dynamics. Overall, I'd say they're true. That doesn't mean they're true for all people, but IN GENERAL, I think they fit. In general, people are shallow.

 

Bingo!

 

Its what I call the 90/10 rule. If its true something like 90% (or most) of the time, than even though there are exceptions, you can say that it generally holds true.

 

No rules about dating or personalities are 100% all of the time, but I agree, I think they are correct most of the time (especially the ladder theory).

[Johnny M]

Does it make somebody a better catch auotmatically becasue they might be better looking then the person youre with? Do we put no value on personality or being a good person anymore??

When one person is significantly better looking than his/her partner, it's usually seen as an indication that he or she either had to settle or lacks the social skills to attract someone of similar status. Not saying this is right or wrong, but that's the underlying social dynamic.

 

It seems as if weve gotten so vain and sueprical in society that we put better looking people on a higher pedestal not just on looks but as human beings

This has nothing to do with society "getting vain". Things weren't fundamentally different 100, 1,000 or 10,000 years ago. Attraction to good looks is biologically ingrained... humans are hard-wired to interpret attractive physical features as an indication of good genes and good genes in one's mate = better chances of survival for the offspring. And while personality traits also play a role in the evolutionary strategy, they are often of lesser importance than physical traits.

Edited October 13, 2009 by Johnny M

[Els]

I think you're misunderstanding. Those theories are not absolutes, they are GENERALITIES. Just because the trend is valid does not mean it applies to you or me personally.

 

Those theories are about social psychology and group dynamics. Overall, I'd say they're true. That doesn't mean they're true for all people, but IN GENERAL, I think they fit. In general, people are shallow.

 

Valid or not, I find it annoying when people apply them. Yes, perhaps I find 90% of people annoying in this respect, then. Yes, I definitely find shallow people annoying - it's like, 'if you're gonna be shallow about your own relationship, fine, but who are you to judge me and my friends?'

 

Although I find the percentage is actually a lot lower than 90, in my community at least.

Edited October 13, 2009 by Elswyth

[clv0116]

Although I find the percentage is actually a lot lower than 90, though, in my community.

 

I've spent a lot of time relatively near your neighborhood and yes, I think you're right. Particularly the women. I've seen really cute girls hanging out with ... not so cute guys, but they were no doubt excellent men in other respects.

[Els]

Yeah. I find the men tend to lean less towards good looks as well, as they mature. The younger ones tend to chase as hopelessly and desperately after the hottest girl in class, as one sees in American TV shows, however. :/

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I find it ignorant when people say "He or she can do better" just based on looks

 

 

This doesn't make any sense, because either you don't know what ignorant means, or you don't understand that throughout its evolution, the human species has attempted to improve its own genetics through forces which find everyone seeking "better" in a romantic situations in which offspring are expected/anticipated.

 

 

The ignorance in that lies only in you.

[clv0116]

Yeah. I find the men tend to lean less towards good looks as well, as they mature. The younger ones tend to chase as hopelessly and desperately after the hottest girl in class, as one sees in American TV shows, however. :/

 

In fairness, those islands are just stuffed full of really cute women though.

[Phateless]

Valid or not, I find it annoying when people apply them. Yes, perhaps I find 90% of people annoying in this respect, then. Yes, I definitely find shallow people annoying - it's like, 'if you're gonna be shallow about your own relationship, fine, but who are you to judge me and my friends?'

 

Although I find the percentage is actually a lot lower than 90, in my community at least.

 

So you're personally offended by my generality?

 

I agree that things SHOULDN'T be this way... but they are IN GENERAL. I did not mean you specifically, Elswyth, because I don't know you, therefore I have no idea.

 

I also gravitate toward people that are less shallow and have more depth. Society as a whole, though, is attractiveness-classist.