littlebittle Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 If two people are together, and the physical attraction goes away for one of them do you think it can ever come back? Or once it's gone is it gone forever? Could it come back months or years later, suddenly, or is it just done? What if all of the other loving feelings remain? I want to know what everyone thinks.
Soul Bear Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 From personal experience, the answer to your question is Yes, it can come back. You have to see what you first saw in that person.
tigressA Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 I wondered this a lot in regards to my most recent ex. One of the main issues that prompted the breakup was that I wasn't physically attracted to him anymore. I for one don't think it can come back while you're still in a relationship--I think if it ever has a chance of reigniting, you need to be apart from them for awhile and see how you feel without them--do you miss them? Do you fantasize about them, sexually or otherwise? Et cetera.
Soul Bear Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Or you could just cheat on them, have them dump you, then it'll be too late. However, you will then see just how amazing they were. (don't try this at home)
AD1980 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 I wondered this a lot in regards to my most recent ex. One of the main issues that prompted the breakup was that I wasn't physically attracted to him anymore. I for one don't think it can come back while you're still in a relationship--I think if it ever has a chance of reigniting, you need to be apart from them for awhile and see how you feel without them--do you miss them? Do you fantasize about them, sexually or otherwise? Et cetera. Do u mind if i ask why you didnt find him attractive anymore?? Did he gain allot of weight or something??
tigressA Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Do u mind if i ask why you didnt find him attractive anymore?? Did he gain allot of weight or something?? I don't want to hijack the OP's thread.
BCCA Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Try not to spend too much time in the world of 'what ifs'. Sure, anything is possible, and they could regain their feelings. The likelyhood, though, is that they will not.
Author littlebittle Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Do u mind if i ask why you didnt find him attractive anymore?? Did he gain allot of weight or something?? Ha, no, actually, he lost his attraction for me. But it has happened to me in other relationships. The spark that's there in the beginning goes out for me, and then we just fizzle into friends. But I also think, in those situations, it was something about the guy's personality that ultimately turned me off to him sexually. The situation I'm in now is pretty complicated, with lots of fear of getting hurt (due to past heartbreaks for both of us... ironically, his ex dumped HIM for this exact reason), and I sense that he is trying to protect himself and simply not ready to date. But there is a lot of love there, and lots of warm feelings. I hope that if we really were right together, someday down the road, his physical attraction to me will come back. In the meantime, I'm hoping to meet new people.
Soul Bear Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Agreed, between Tigress' and BCCA's answers, you have a gold mine of information.
AD1980 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Ha, no, actually, he lost his attraction for me. But it has happened to me in other relationships. The spark that's there in the beginning goes out for me, and then we just fizzle into friends. But I also think, in those situations, it was something about the guy's personality that ultimately turned me off to him sexually. The situation I'm in now is pretty complicated, with lots of fear of getting hurt (due to past heartbreaks for both of us... ironically, his ex dumped HIM for this exact reason), and I sense that he is trying to protect himself and simply not ready to date. But there is a lot of love there, and lots of warm feelings. I hope that if we really were right together, someday down the road, his physical attraction to me will come back. In the meantime, I'm hoping to meet new people. I see so its not just physcial reasons..Because if the love is that strong the physical things evnetually wont matter because we all grow old and get less atractive anyway.. If it doesnt work out then obviously it was deeper then just lack of physical attraction..
tigressA Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 In the meantime, I'm hoping to meet new people. You should just focus on that. If you're sensing that this guy isn't ready to date, then leave him alone. If he really wants you, he'll come around and let you know. Trust me on this. Don't let "what ifs" dictate your life.
Pebbles21 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 From personal experience it does come back. my bf started to repulse me but, wen he got a hair cut and a new set of clothes (yes ino very shallow) the attrction slowly came back. U have to just remember the positive points of the relationship/ what use to attract yiu to him etc. Ask him to dress/ style his hair the way u lik etc, these things help.
tigressA Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 From personal experience it does come back. my bf started to repulse me but, wen he got a hair cut and a new set of clothes (yes ino very shallow) the attrction slowly came back. U have to just remember the positive points of the relationship/ what use to attract yiu to him etc. Ask him to dress/ style his hair the way u lik etc, these things help. I disagree. This seems incredibly shallow. I can understand to a point if your partner really let themselves go--for example, gaining a significant amount of weight, slacking off in the hygiene dept., etc, but when nothing really changes physically and you're losing the attraction, that's when you need to look at what else may be wrong in the relationship.
Thornton Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 It depends if you were ever really attracted to the person in the first place. If you were genuinely attracted to them, then yes, the attraction can come back. However, if what you found attractive about the person has dissipated (e.g. you thought they were more intelligent, more fun, more confident, etc than they actually turned out to be) then the attraction won't come back... because the attraction was based on a mistaken assumption about the person which has now been proved wrong. The same applies if you found the person attractive but then found out unattractive things about them... e.g. they're possessive, jealous, bad-tempered, or anything else that puts you off... then the attraction won't come back in that situation either.
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