groedy Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Hi all, Wanted to share my story and get thoughts. Met a girl that I went to hs with who came to one of my band's shows randomly. We never talked in school and our only connection was my older brother and her older brother were really good friends. We hit it off well and she came back to my parents house where I was staying and we talked all night along with a little bit of cuddling. Next day, she sends me a text saying we should hang out more. Important part to note is reason I was staying with parents is because I live 3.5 hours away, which she knew all along. Very next weekend, she asks me to come back to go to theme park. I decline because of other plans. Following week, she takes off a day of school to come out. We had an incredible weekend and decided to be a couple that same weekend. We put the status on facebook and immediately I start getting friend requests from her friends and family, I'd say about 8 in all. Very next weekend, I come in and her parents, old roommate, and classmate friend all insist on meeting me. All went well and we were riding high. She then goes on vacation and in order to see each other after 2 weeks, I take a few days off work and she changes up her class and work schedule. Hard to explain in this instance, but she just seemed different, particularly less physically affectionate. Next time we are to get together is my birthday, two weeks later. She was actually getting crap from her friend whose birthday was the same weekend, but she seemed to stand her ground. That week, I was on vacation, and although I did not attempt to call, when I would text, it would be a while before I would get a response. On my way back, she texts and says there was a surprise bachelorette party that she just found out about and didn't think she could make my birthday (how do you not know about a bachelorette party until a week before?). I told her she had to do what she had to do. By the end of the week, I wanted to make sure she didn't feel bad in general, so I made sure to let her know that I was ok with her not coming out. Two weeks later was our scheduled trip to Myrtle Beach. This trip was orginally supposed to be 4 male friends of hers and then her sister, cousins, and their bf's in the same condo as us. I asked her to drive out to me and then we would drive down the next day. When this first came up, she was all for it, but then a few weeks leading up to, she started saying she couldn't afford to drive out. Then, her sister and cousin cancelled because they didn't have enough money. Once I realized that the condo was really cheap, I told her not to worry about it and I could easily cover it. She still wanted to get someone else in the condo, claiming she didn't want to waste space. 2 days before going, she gets her classmate to go with her 4 year old daughter. I responded that that was great and to let me know what time they were to arrive at my place on that Friday. I received no response until I texted on that Friday @ 5, and they weren't going to make it until 9:30. She then goes on to tell me that her friend would not be paying for anything for the condo and that we had to leave at midnight that night so the 4 year old could sleep during the trip down. Wouldn't they have discussed this at least a day ahead of schedule?! After a few words (I was planning on going out with friends before they got there, which isn't good for preparing for all night driving), I gave in and said I would be ready for them. The next few days were ok, my buddy came in town and we had a golf round, so I didn't see her in the morning. The next few days, she continued to hang out with the friend and 4 year old, who wouldn't leave her alone and I barely got to talk to her. By Wed., I even asked her to take a walk with me on the beach so I could ask her what the deal was and what was different, but she declined. Later that day at the pool when I did confront her and began to be affectionate, she told me to stop because she got a phone call that was making her unsure of things. She then later asks me if I had been on any dating websites while being at the beach (you'll all have to trust me here). Without changing words, I told her yes I have an eharmony account that I had before we were together and that I manage it by going in and closing the matches because of pursuing another relationship. Turns out, her friend "stumbled" onto the history of my computer and then told her sister about it. I offered to delete the account and said it wouldn't affect my daily life because I wasn't using it. As you can expect, the rest of the week was pretty bad. When we talked again, she started telling me that her grades were slipping and that I acted like nothing was ever good enough for me. I actually considered breaking up with her then, but I like her enough to want to work through it. And this was the first time we had really opened up to each other at all. I did ok with the whole NC thing while she was "making up her mind". I sent a couple of facebook messages letting her know where I stood and didn't press her for an answer until she was ready. A week later, she decides to send a facebook message saying she wanted to break up. She said she wanted to make it work but had so much other stuff going on that she didn't know how and couldn't juggle everything. She also said "it wasn't the right time for us." So my questions are, was all of this a big cop out because she had lost interest even before vacation? With her jumping in so quickly with friends and family, how into me was she at first, and how could that change so quickly? Despite her breakup message, is it really the eharmony thing that did it? I am doing pretty well with the NC, but really am hoping she somehow comes back. Is that even possible in an LDR? I am keeping very busy and even dating again, but I still have her constantly on my mind. Thanks for listening.
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