lsb Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 (edited) I wrote on these boards a lot these past months and read from them a lot. To be honest I do not have a whole lot of relationship experience so that is why I come here. It has been a great resource, so thank you for that. This was a really bad year for me. I got laid off, then went to the hospital and then dumped my boyfriend. And yes while I was the dumper, it still hurt like hell. It wasn't something I really wanted to do (who does?) but I had to do it. My friends and family agreed with me and I think deep down inside I knew we were not right for each other. I hate being a cold, mean person - but I had to go no contact and I have been now for 2 months. He was very clingy and would not let it go, so it was especially tough. However, the strange, weird thing is he now met someone as I saw it on facebook. And, I just cried it out. I just felt it. I can't explain it. I know I dumped him. I knew it was over. I knew we'd never get back together. But for some reason it just felt like the little last bit detaching. As if there was still some attachment or little ounce of hope. Why? I don't know. I can fully admit, I do have a hard time letting things go. So did he. So, it just was a painful breakup. He also was my first. So, now I guess I move forward. And yes I was trying to do that before, but I guess after the first month or two you kinda have to hit another cycle. In a way I am glad he is fully moved on because there is a final certainty about it. A full genuine closure. When people speak of closure, I think this is what it really is. Just fully moving on. Knowing that the person has moved on. Edited October 12, 2009 by lsb
ttriplett Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Everyone moves on in their own way as I'm beginning to learn. My break is fresh and she moved on quickly. We hear often moving on, its seems quite often people move along not certain themselves where they are going, but going somewhere nonetheless.
Author lsb Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Right. And maybe there really isn't such a thing as "closure". I still woke up today wondering if I did the right thing. But either way I did it. And I have to live with it and go on...
Author lsb Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Now that he has someone else. I honestly can't help think, maybe I was wrong?
harmfulsweetz Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 But are you thinking that because he is off the market? Did you think that before he found someone else? If not, it may just be the unavailability thing. Stop looking at his profile, it won't help. You weren't right for each other, it was the right choice at the time, it isn't now because he has someone else? I think this may be simply a case of jealousy, sadness that he's found the closure you haven't. Closure comes from within us, there's a big misconception about closure. We all think it comes from the partner, they give it to us, they don't. Once we accept what has happened, understand it, and move on, then we get closure. You need to let go now.
Odyssey Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Closure comes from within us, there's a big misconception about closure. We all think it comes from the partner, they give it to us, they don't. Once we accept what has happened, understand it, and move on, then we get closure. You need to let go now. Wise words and well written, sweetz Closure is about acceptance. Accepting that it is finally over.
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