2sure Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 2 Sure, Did you guys experiment with others in the bedroom? If so, in hindsite, was it all about his sexual needs and desires? Also, can't recall if you were the OW originally....not that it matters...but, from the OP's perspective, if she's feeling attracted to this other older man, it may give her some clarity...if she decides to pursue that, after their "party". I experimented with sex my whole life prior to meeting my H. Any experimenting we did together was always initiated by me. The reality is that most people cannot deal with recreational sex...but I can. I think I'm done with it now, but only because I'm 40sh and ...been there done that. Although I have what to me, is a non jealous and confident perspective about sex...I think I also have issues with real intimacy. So, thats what I'll "explore" now. As to OP being attracted to the older man they are playing with.Thats OK, you SHOULD be attracted! Being sexually attracted to someone , especially when you are playing with your partner...doesnt mean theres a problem. But the reality is...this poster is too young, too inexperienced, and too naive to pull any of this off in a healthy way. I hope she reconsiders. There are plenty of other ways to experiment besides full swap...which I have NEVER done.
boldjack Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Op, I have never had a 4-some, but I've had FMF 3-somes, and have participated in orgies, that had married couples, and orgies that had all single people, and orgies that had a financial aspect, (money or "gifts", were exchanged for favors.) Any time you bring "committed couples", into a multiple person sexual encounter, the emotional fallout increases expotentially. If all participants are single then no jealousy issues arise. As soon as you mix married people into the dynamic, there will ALWAYS be issues. IMO. And adding drugs to the mix, is about as sure a recipe , as I have ever heard, for disaster.
Author penny.lane Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 i'm so grateful of all of your comments....i suppose i dont have anything new to say, i am reading everyone's comments and taking them all into account. i will let you know how it goes, not in too much detail i suppose, and then i guess i should give you another update 2 weeks later? this might end up being something really good for other people considering trying this - a before, after and long after account of what really goes on! for one person anyway.
Author penny.lane Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 well everyone! i am writing post-foursome and I am very glad that my boyfriend and I have now had the experience! we really could not have picked a better couple. they were very mature, very much in love with each other and just wanting to have some fun - like me and my boyfriend. we went over to their house for dinner WITH THEIR KIDS and there was lots of subtle flirting and then they put their kids to bed and we racked up some lines and then i pounced on the wife and then we all went to their bedroom and i hooked up with the wife for a while, the boys watched and then joined in and it all went from there. there were parts where we just sat around doing lines and talking and chilling out and then we'd go back to playing. the boys had some issues getting it up because the stuff was SO STRONG. I was the only one that didnt have any bad side effects actually. the wife felt sick much later in the night/morning and went to bed and then her husband went to bed with her and me and my boyfriend stayed up and did another line and had sex and then went to bed in their guest room around 3am. not exactly a night of continuous hot sex but it was a good introduction into the world of group sex. i think as long as you pick the right people for the right reasons it will work out fine!! the husband reiterated the fact that its not about "getting to" have sex with someone else....it's about watching your partner with someone else and the thrill you get from that. Not everyone gets that thrill, so its not for everyone. but it all worked out wonderfully and my boyfriend and I actually feel closer together after this! we have shared something together and we have basically announced how much we trust each other and are committed to each other that we can have fun like this and its not a problem. im not going to say "i highly recommend it!!" to everyone because its NOT for everyone. it just worked out well for us! i will say if you are going to do it - MAKE SURE YOU PICK THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
CaliGuy Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Good luck to you, but I suspect you'll be back here posting about all the problems it created in the future.
amymarieca Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I have done the group thing several times, and it is the greatest thing ever! I say that everyone should try it at some point in their life.
boldjack Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 So you are really mature? You went to another couple's house, did coke (with their kids in the other room asleep) had a foursome ( protected?) then did more coke, the parents let you be awake, with their kids in the other room, and you actually think that this is mature behavior? Sorry but if the cops found out about this, they would have a far different view. Using drugs around minor children is a MAJOR Felony. , and you and your H are accessories. Your night of "mature", fun could land you all in prison, and the kids being taken away from their "parents". If you think that this is a "mature", "Adult", thing to do, you aren't very bright.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 They sound like very responsible parents. How old are their kids? I'd hate to see one walk into mommy's room in the middle of the night because she had a bad dream, and instead see mommy going down on mommy's friend while daddy does a line of coke. Classy.
CarrieT Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 They sound like very responsible parents. How old are their kids? I'd hate to see one walk into mommy's room in the middle of the night because she had a bad dream, and instead see mommy going down on mommy's friend while daddy does a line of coke. Classy. Totally concur. And what a sad reflection of our society...
boldjack Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 "Make sure you pick the right people"? Are you kidding me? These People use drugs and have orgies , WITH THEIR KIDS IN THE OTHER ROOM, ASLEEP!!!!!!! I'm interested in, what your idea is of the WRONG people? You and your H participated in a FELONY, don't you realise this? You had better hope than nobody decent finds out about this, you could be facing legal problems.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 "Make sure you pick the right people"? Are you kidding me? These People use drugs and have orgies , WITH THEIR KIDS IN THE OTHER ROOM, ASLEEP!!!!!!! I'm interested in, what your idea is of the WRONG people? You and your H participated in a FELONY, don't you realise this? You had better hope than nobody decent finds out about this, you could be facing legal problems. I, too, am curious about who would classify as "the wrong people" at this point...people who have have coke orgies with their kids in the room?
boldjack Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Actually 4 Felonies or more : 1) possession of a controlled substance 2) distribution of a controlled substance 3)use of a controlled substance 4+) Child endangerment (multiple counts). Oh, possibly child abuse issues as well. You and your husband could be charged as accessories, and would definitely be brought in as material witnesses. Good thinking, OP.
boldjack Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Oh, Ok, thanks , Lucky. But the issues are the same.
dreamergrl Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Yeah, this is definitely not for everyone. I would never be a part of this. Kids in the next room? Breaking out the coke? Doing enough where someone feels sick later on? Chancing the kids seeing this? What if the kids found remains of the coke?
SecretlySad Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I have always been curious as to how to do one of these, safely? If it is e.g. 2 guys and a girl, isn't having condoms on a bit of a passion killer? Can you guys really even feel it if a girl is going down on you?
Tiz Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 improprietous, immature, illegal, sleazy, low-class Those are a few words to describe your behavior. I suppose you're comfortable with this.
Malenfant Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I notice no further posts from the OP after the post-orgy comments by fellow members! TBH I would generally say that what people do is up to them. They are more than intitled to make their own mistakes. But I would make two points about this situation. 1) No way should there have been kids in the house. There are clubs for this type of thing, book a hotel, whatever. I cant imagine anything more gross than if one of their kids had walked in on them. Oh, you could say 'we locked the door' but what if the kid needed their parent? doors shouldnt be locked in a family home so I see no way that this could have been made to be OK. 2) drugs. here's a good idea, lets have an orgy (where generally the use of a fully working penis or two is paramount) only lets take some drugs so they cant get them up properly. cos there's nothing so sexy as a limp knob is there? Seriously, I know that drug taking and sex for some people do go hand in hand, but coke is like one of the worst things to get into. It always starts off nicely, in sociable situations, to relax etc. but the glitter soon flies off. Funny how OP described it as making her feel like a rock star. I wonder how many of them have been into rehab this year?
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