Lizzie60 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 they have been together for years and years and this kind of thing has never shaken their relationship. this is exactly what I've been saying.. they have been together for years.. and they feel the need to spice up their sex life.. as far as you and your bf.. I don't think you can compare YOUR couple to theirs.. I doubt you will be a 'couple' for many more years.. I see it very differently whether the couple who 'swing' is an older couple or a younger couple... verrrrry differently..
boldjack Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Penny, you can and will do what you want,but threesomes and orgies, etc, will change the whole dynamic of your relationship. What if your guy wants to do it all the time? What if you do? What if you two begin to need more and more external stimulation to have a good sex-life? What would happen if you have the foursome, and the woman started to try to see your man, on the side? I CAN say, that you will never look at your SO the same way, again and neither will he. You say that you have been a cheater, before and that you have jealousy issues. This type of thing will only make these issues worse. Do what you want, but be prepared for the worst.
boldjack Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 BTW, the jealousy issues are going to increase 1,000 times. So be warned!! I am speaking from experience.
singlegirl Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Problems usually start when one is really into it and the other doesn't want it....It will all end in tears IMHO
fatamus Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Every case of this sort of thing I have known or heard about has some seriously f’d up issues that are hidden deep down. Damaged abusive childhood, previous sexual abuse, etc… This sh*t always ends really badly sooner or later. Out of all the girls I dated only 1 always hinted about this sort of thing and now looking back I am sure she was sexually abused when she was younger all the signs were there. Doesn’t sound like you have much moral fiber anyhow so go ahead it’s your life. There are videos of people fkn horses out there, wh*res will always have their place in society.
TaraMaiden Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Someone kindly remind me.... What's 'sex', again? This is so crazy, I can't believe I'm reading it. A foursome?? With Cocaine?? Oh. My. Goodness. It will all end in tears.
Author penny.lane Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Someone kindly remind me.... What's 'sex', again? This is so crazy, I can't believe I'm reading it. A foursome?? With Cocaine?? Oh. My. Goodness. It will all end in tears. I think there are sick people in the world that do alot worse. I'm not having sex with an animal or a person who cannot defend themselves or make their own well-thought-out mature decisions - i am engaging in sexual activity with three other consenting adults. and i might also mention that i have not been sexually abused or traumatised in any way as a child. i just love to experiment and try new things. and we have found a safe environment to do this in together.
boldjack Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 OP, most of the posters have given you their honest opinion of this issue. If you came to LS seeking validation, you should have said so. If you don't want to hear dissenting opinions, then why don't you close the thread? Most of the people have had experience with these things, have you? How many threesomes have you had? Experience has taught us to be wary of this type of thing, so do what you want, but beware the consequences. I can say that this will probably end badly.
Author penny.lane Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 OP, most of the posters have given you their honest opinion of this issue. If you came to LS seeking validation, you should have said so. If you don't want to hear dissenting opinions, then why don't you close the thread? Most of the people have had experience with these things, have you? How many threesomes have you had? Experience has taught us to be wary of this type of thing, so do what you want, but beware the consequences. I can say that this will probably end badly. You're right, I am very appreciative of all of your comments and opinions on the matter and it is exactly what I asked for. Thank you everyone!! It's interesting that not one person had something good to say about it...perhaps I can be the first. If you would all like to know how it goes I will post again in a couple of weeks.
clv0116 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 If you would all like to know how it goes I will post again in a couple of weeks. With photographic evidence, please.
BookerT Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Lol, this thread reminds me of all the things they told people not to do in Sunday school. Not that I'm very religious or anything.
Author penny.lane Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Lol, this thread reminds me of all the things they told people not to do in Sunday school. Not that I'm very religious or anything. well there's a reason to explain my madness and lack of morals.....my parents are very religious.....maybe i'm still rebelling against my strict moral upbringing even at 22?
boldjack Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Well PL, if you must, you must. But you can't say you haven't been warned. But if you take away anything from this thread, remember that once you go this route, you can never go back, and you will never look at your So, the same again.......Truth.
CarrieT Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 My ExH and I did several scenes like this 20 years ago when I was married. My biggest suggestion is lose the drugs. Seriously. Especially for a first-time, why change your perspective? Don't you want to remember it all the way it is for REAL?
fabulous_chk Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Do this only if you're not serious with your bf. I've had threesome but it was all women. One girl's bf watched. He did not participate- him and the girl had sex afterwards. He was not touching me or the other girl. Prepare for your bf to seek to repeat the adventure with younger girls. Let's see how you'd like it.
dreamergrl Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 well there's a reason to explain my madness and lack of morals.....my parents are very religious.....maybe i'm still rebelling against my strict moral upbringing even at 22? You are validating yourself, just as someone said you came here to get validation. You don't want to hear any other answers. Answer this... Do you honestly think this is going to sit well with your jealousy issues? Or maybe you're just hoping, or trying to convince yourself. Well PL, if you must, you must. But you can't say you haven't been warned. But if you take away anything from this thread, remember that once you go this route, you can never go back, and you will never look at your So, the same again.......Truth. He's right. Once it is done, it is done. You can't take it back. You can't will it away. I really truly hope you think about it before you go and do this....
2sure Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Change your life? Uhhh. No. Its just sex, regardless of how many people are there. Making love perhaps can change your life ...but sex? Especially when its just experimenting. Come on.
boldjack Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I disagree with those posters, who say that informal, out of marriage, sex, is inconsequential. There is going to be some form of fallout. It's interesting that most of them are in or have had several failed relationships, coincidence? OP if you were single, and experimenting, I would say that the experience might out-weigh the drawbacks, but you are married, and must face the high probability of jealousy issues, and undoubtedly the dynamic of your marriage WILL change. Just be aware.
fatamus Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I find this whole thing deeply humorous. Life punishes enough, and this one gonna be a b*tch when it catches up.
2sure Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Oh yeah, if there is jealousy on anyone's part this will only magnify it. Guarantee of that. And have to agree that although I dont think sexual experimentation with others if your partner is included is that big of a deal...but you know I AM on my 3rd divorce. Something worth considering.
fatamus Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 When the dust settles you have to wake up and look yourself in the mirror.
gopher Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Not something I would repeat and totally regret that I did. But, the whole fantasy/sexual excitement is hard to overcome in this situation. Take the good advice given and make your own decision. My hunch is that you will come back here, and post that you wish you hadn't done it....
gopher Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Oh yeah, if there is jealousy on anyone's part this will only magnify it. Guarantee of that. And have to agree that although I dont think sexual experimentation with others if your partner is included is that big of a deal...but you know I AM on my 3rd divorce. Something worth considering. 2 Sure, Did you guys experiment with others in the bedroom? If so, in hindsite, was it all about his sexual needs and desires? Also, can't recall if you were the OW originally....not that it matters...but, from the OP's perspective, if she's feeling attracted to this other older man, it may give her some clarity...if she decides to pursue that, after their "party".
TaraMaiden Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Not something I would repeat and totally regret that I did. But, the whole fantasy/sexual excitement is hard to overcome in this situation. Take the good advice given and make your own decision. My hunch is that you will come back here, and post that you wish you hadn't done it.... I think like most fantasies, they come up short in the enacting. It's sad but true, most lived-out fantasies fail to reach expectations, and I think you'll find you made a big deal out of little. And if you repeat the experience, just to see if you can make it any better, you'll start creating complications. Emotions are hard to keep in check, and this is opening up a can of worms. There's nothing prudish in our urging you to show caution and restraint. Most of us are old enough to have been round the block a few times, and have lived a relatively active life.... But the drugs? Please - don't do that. Just don't.
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