word Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I officially broke up with her back in April. We had dated for a year and were in love and had the best sex of our lives together. We kept in touch and were 'friends with benefits' until July, when I told her I couldn't handle her dating someone else while sleeping with me. We kept in touch and a month later I started dating other women again. She saw me with a girl at this bar one night and texted me that she saw me and was upset about it. We continue to talk and text but not hang out again until August. She comes over for my bday and we go out for brunch and spend the day together. I tell her that the girl she saw me with wasn't right for me and I wouldn't be dating her again. We stay in touch from then on regularly by text only. I continue to date a few other women for next month or so, but none of them really do it for me like she did and I find myself comparing all them to her. Last week I had this erotic dream about her and I and texted her about it. She writes back that she 'certainly misses that', but is seeing someone and it's serious enough that she shouldn't engage in this kind of talk. Then she says that she wants to figure out how it is that we can remain in each other's lives. So my question is: Is it worth trying to remain in her life? I am torn between keeping a candle for her in my heart and dropping all contact completely. Is being friends just a waste of time and extended heart ache? Btw, she is 42 (a physican) and I'm 38 (Marketing exec). She's a free spirit (been to burning man) and strong woman. Any thoughts on my plight are appreciated.
Lishy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 you dont want to be her friend so to remain as friends is not a good idea! You are not over her and she is playing games with you All you will get out of this is a whole heap of hurt!
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 break off all contact with this woman right away!!!
Lishy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Alpha you have your bossy head on tonight lol Why did you break up?
Author word Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 We broke up basically because we are at different stages in life and she is more secure financially. She wanted a guy like me only richer and with his own home and with greater availability (I have an 11 year old son-joint custody). She said that she needed to figure out what she wants at this point in her life and that she needed to 'reset' and choose me. She said she felt like we fell into the relationship and it wasn't her choice per se.
Lishy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 well has anything changed since then? Have you become financiially secure and lost custody of your son? I dont think so .... ask yourself what you will gain by having this woman in your life still ... will it make you happy?
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 She said that she needed to figure out what she wants at this point in her life and that she needed to 'reset' and choose me. She said she felt like we fell into the relationship and it wasn't her choice per se. thats a bunch of hooey
Author word Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 No, not much has changed other than I see my son less. I will be in a better financial position in the new year (my bonus comes in). It just seems like she is dragging me along. I want to move on but am finding it hard to let her go. I feel like I need to almost wait for her to be with someone else and then choose me or him.
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 It just seems like she is dragging me along. thats cause she IS dragging you along....and wasting your time to boot. you need to stay away from this woman, period. staying "friends" with her will cause you more problems AND keep you from finding someone new.
Author word Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 I have been dating other women. None of them really compare to her though. So yes, I am not over her. I guess the only solution is do delete her from my phone and email and end the friendship.
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I have been dating other women. None of them really compare to her though. So yes, I am not over her. I guess the only solution is do delete her from my phone and email and end the friendship. i've already stated my position
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