logitech Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I think it's time to let this thread die. Burrito obviously can't see how much of a douche he is (simply an observation from what has been presented here). Good luck to you and hopefully she never contacts you again for her own sake.
Author Flying Burrito Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 flying burrito... ok, i am not going to judge ....i hope IT does not come out that way..It didn't. I think I've been very clear that I in no way wish her anything bad. If I cared less at all, it would be easy. I could hurt her with no problem right? But I do care and at the same time, I care about my head too. Yes, I am putting my needs before hers and that is better for me, not better for her. Understood, the closure thing is a show of respect. Again, if there was a way to break no contact without breaking no contact, brilliant. I'm all for it. But it doesn't work that way and given our history, the concern about it being a first step to starting over is valid. Hey, this is someone I cared deeply about. I thought she was the one for a while. She thought I was the one too. I don't know if she still does. It's not that I don't care. I just don't want to start that whole thing up again. Sure, it sounds narcissistic. Ha. The only way to prove I'm not a total narcissist, is to fall back into the on/off again pattern right? I hear what you're saying. I posted in coping because that is what I'm doing. Also it's not about breaking up and posting in second chances would have been gross. Yes. I was hurt too. I was tired. I hated watching someone I cared about, someone so brilliant, so smart, so strong and so beautiful turn into a pile of mush. I hated myself for not being able to help her. Then I hated myself for trying to help her anyway. Eventually I wound up hating that she didn't help herself. Which wasn't exactly a positive feel good thing for me either. These are all things I don't want to rehash with her, not because I think she doesn't deserve it, but because they have a way of leading to getting a squiggly hot mess in my arms while my objectivity and resolve fly out the window.
Author Flying Burrito Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 And I know two attempts to contact me in half a year doesn't make her bipolar. I'm sorry.
delajoonal Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Burrito.. wow! ok...i was not expecting that...but, you let down a part of YOUR wall for a moment and well, it sounds like you did all you could and YOU are hurting too..and trying very hard to NOT start a destructive relationship up again... i get it now...thank you for taking time to make it more clear for US...but i am hoping more than that...in seeing your own words, it was theraputic for you too.. sorry you too are in so much pain..that is very evident in your last post.. sorry about the narcisistic thing..LOL...we have a bit...right;) good luck in your future R's...seems like you learned alot from this last one... sure hope i can do the same...i have 14 years of a marriage to disect and figure out what went wrong..ack! good luck burrito..and thanks again for being so honest!
Author Flying Burrito Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 Burrito.. wow! ok...i was not expecting that...but, you let down a part of YOUR wall for a moment and well, it sounds like you did all you could and YOU are hurting too..and trying very hard to NOT start a destructive relationship up again...Fair enough. Some of those past threads are old. I've said it in past threads but it I think it bears repeating here. The relationship was great. There was very little that was less than great. This is going to sound completely retarded but the breaking-up is what killed us! And that was on me, not her. Someone said here earlier its my fault Ames broke down the way she did because I kept breaking up with her and I've said that before too. That's probably true.
scipio Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Burrito, The reason everyone is jumping on you in this thread is because your first post you seemed to be reveling in being a dick. You more or less admitted that while giving her closure would be the honorable thing to do,..you're more interested in being an a**hole. IF you do have a legitimate point in not talking to her you've done a f*ckup job communicating that.
delajoonal Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Burrito, The reason everyone is jumping on you in this thread is because your first post you seemed to be reveling in being a dick. You more or less admitted that while giving her closure would be the honorable thing to do,..you're more interested in being an a**hole. IF you do have a legitimate point in not talking to her you've done a f*ckup job communicating that. wow! angry much !??? burrito is here just like all the rest of us trying to figure out his pain and what is going on... sure some of his posts may have sounded a bit 'cold'...or worse.. but if you keep reading..you will see he does let down his wall and well, that is ALL we can hope for ..here on LS..for each other...to break down some walls, vent our pain and get support from others who GET IT... geesh...
scipio Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 wow! angry much !??? burrito is here just like all the rest of us trying to figure out his pain and what is going on... sure some of his posts may have sounded a bit 'cold'...or worse.. but if you keep reading..you will see he does let down his wall and well, that is ALL we can hope for ..here on LS..for each other...to break down some walls, vent our pain and get support from others who GET IT... geesh... I'm actually not angry. Maybe I should cut down on the cussing. All i know is that he's getting criticized not based on his decision not to talk to the girl,..he getting criticized for how he framed the situation. My post sounded meaner than I intended. But I recognize his pain,...I frankly have more sympathy for his ex's pain,...based on what i've read.
Author Flying Burrito Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 scipio, Cheers mate. You're a peach. I thought it would be worth the effort. Now I know trying to sound it out was a mistake.
Author Flying Burrito Posted October 15, 2009 Author Posted October 15, 2009 How do I get this thread deleted?
JaggedRoad Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Why delete it? It's a wonderfully enlightening thread.
delajoonal Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 NO burrito...please do NOT revert back into your shell... you NEED LS just like we all do...read the posts that help you and make you think or feel better... ignore posts that make you feel like that author does not understand where you are coming from...OK..cause it reality, NOT everyone is going to get it...especially if they don't know your whole story. you need to be here and deserve to be here just like all of us! don't shut down now...seems like you were maybe going to be able to open up more and get to the core of what will help you in your future relationships;) and keep posting...its great therapy..don't stop now...dont' ever let anyone tell you that you don't have the right to be here too.! don't let one member stop you from moving forward and posting your thoughts and feelings...you need to be here too! i am here for you and so are many others... keep posting and reading Burrito..K;)
WTRanger Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Yep, he's going to run away. Just like he did when his girl's life was causing him stress, he ran away rather than face the facts. This is classic LS behavior. When the posters don't want to hear what other people have to say, no matter how harsh, yet helpful, it is, they want the thread deleted. It speaks to how they deal with situations in their real life. They just want the problem deleted. Not fixed, but deleted. Burrito, I just hope that you learn from this. Running away from things is not the best way to solve them. That never solves the problem. This will just pop back up later on down the road, and keep popping up until you finally face it. What if this girl is killed tonight? Then what? I have a hunch that you would be the most devastated person, because you have something to tell her. You have a fear of facing her because you know what you did was wrong. You are avoiding her because you are scared. Not because you want to heal. You don't want to hear what she has to say, just like you don't want to hear what we have to say. Own up and talk to her. It's time you learn what it means to be a man, other than pissing while standing up.
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