drivesmecrazy3 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hey guys, I am 23 years old, and spent a majority of my teenage years with the same girl, from when i was 16-21. I guess that this long experience definitely put a dampering on my confidence to approach new girls now because I find myself to be unable to do so! Everytime im out with a friend or two at a bar, lounge, etc, I never have enough guts to actually approach another girl or try talking to them. It really does have alot to do with the fear of being shut down and the fear of me looking stupid. Most of the time girls are with a group of their friends/etc so I feel like I would be even more embarrased. And also the fact that im with my friend! if i were to be turned down, it would happen right in front of them! I am not really SHY but i do get nervous around people that I dont know and in those cases, tend to be very quiet and introvertive. Because of this, I really have no idea what to say when approaching someone like that in front of other people who I do not know. I dont know, I just dont have the confidence to do it. The reason why I am posting this is because last night i was in a bar with my brother and friend, and saw the MOSTTTT BEAUTIFULLLL GIRL EVERRRRR, and she was literally 2 feet away from me most of the time and I just couldnt push myself enough to say anything, partially because she was with other friends. I am not conceited in any way, but i definitely dont think im a bad looking kid, I mean after me and my ex broke up when i was 21 and a half, ive been physical with 9 other girls, now im 23. but Iv'e met almost all of them because of them approaching ME, not me approaching them. Does anyone have any advice for me? I know that a lot of people go through the same thing. Ive been thinking about maybe buying a self-help book about this fear, any recommendations?
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Does anyone have any advice for me? I know that a lot of people go through the same thing. Ive been thinking about maybe buying a self-help book about this fear, any recommendations? at 23 you haven't had the time to have a lot of experience with girls. you'll learn and lose most of your fear as you get older
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) If you don't display confidence, you'll get rejected. Rejection is a great tool to develop a confident, assertive mentality that will transform your whole body language, your 'vibes' and will get you more laid than Bon Jovi has ever gotten laid! You don't have to make a big deal out of it. Start by going at a woman and saying hi. Many will shrug you off, give you the eye or sometimes, if she's rude or narcissist will make you feel bad. Don't worry about that. When you are bagging the young hotties like mad, that same woman will come after you and you'll give her the finger. There's no magic involved in this. Only, that, as you approach women, you'll get rejected. You'll reach the point of not caring anymore. Honestly. That, my friend, will destroy all the anxious you could be, all the nervousness which means, you'll earn a LOT of confidence. Don't approach only women you find attractive. Go to every single female you see, from every race, every age - as long as it's legal - and do your thing. As you gain confidence, the quality of the woman you can get will increase in equal footing. With the highest level of self- confidence, comes the hottest of all females. Dude, when I went to Sweden, I tried this out. As soon as I left the plane, I approached every single female I saw. I was rejected a lot. A LOT. Finally, a woman found me to be the charming bastard that I am and went out with him. I slept with her and pay attention now. Because she was possibly the only shot at a Swedish women I had - at the time - I went at it, ok bluntly, I drilled her with all the conjuring discovery of my sea - faring race. Next day, she spoke to her female friend about the shortie foreigner who did her like a berseker viking . Her friend, now intrigued and because I was approved by a female, decided to try me out. All I can say is that I left Sweden with a full stomach and those two weren't the only Swedish 'plate' I eat . Basically, the more women you sleep with, the more you are approved by them, thus, your social proof increases, your sex life increases and the quality of the women increase . Edited October 11, 2009 by Lusitan
TheLoneSock Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 The best time to approach a girl is when she's with a group of friends if you know what you're doing.
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) When he can pull women easily, yes. But a nervous, shy guy like him, shouldn't go for girls with a group of friends. Not now. He would have to isolate the girl he wants and women don't feel safe when they get disconnected from the group. For a change of the woman's comfort and feelings - under this scenario - he would need one or two guy friends to engage the group as a whole. If he doesn't plan it right, in the case of approaching a girl in a group, the male friends inside the group will have their ancient urge to defend their 'territory' in this case, their female friend. The other girls will feel jealous and will ruin whatever shot you have with the girl due to the sad fact that a woman's girl friends will always be more important than any woman and a man, even if interested in the guy, will listen to her friends. Unless he's comfortable with himself and already has a bit of experience, going for a girl in a group of friends is a great mistake. Don't forget. If you isolate the girl and get to sleep with her, you can move on to another girl she's friends with, for example, without her knowledge. Edited October 11, 2009 by Lusitan
TheLoneSock Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 When he can pull women easily, yes. But a nervous, shy guy like him, shouldn't go for girls with a group of friends. Not now. He would have to isolate the girl he wants and women don't feel safe when they get disconnected from the group. For a change of the woman's comfort and feelings - under this scenario - he would need one or two guy friends to engage the group as a whole. I agree with this part of what you said. It sounds like he needs a good wingman or two!
Author drivesmecrazy3 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 oh man lusitan that was great lmao
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 oh man lusitan that was great lmao Keep a great sense of humor around women too. Another way to get laid with women is to be funny. I have a friend who is obese, bald and doesn't have any money but he bangs all the hotties because he can make them laugh so earnestly.
Beefy88 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I must admit that Lusitan's comments are right. Get to the point where you don't care about getting rejected no more. This will give you a ton of confidence. Another technique that works (here in Belgium that is) is infiltrating into the group, by just talking to the girl you like. Then you should make her female friends approve you, by making jokes and being the life of the party. Involve them in your persuit to get the girl, and they will most likely approve you for taking on the challenge. Women love strong personalities!
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Another technique that works (here in Belgium that is) is infiltrating into the group, dude this isn't a covert military operation....
TheLoneSock Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 dude this isn't a covert military operation.... ....hahaha
boogieboy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Usually the woman will be with her friends, and trying to pull her away is instant rejection. So what you do is, figure out something that the whole group of girls would be interested in discussing, and talk at ALL of them. Like youre doing a performance. Keep all of their attention and involve them all. You will get all of their approvals, have them all intrigued, you can get some of them to talk to each other, and work on pulling away the one you want. As far as rejection, well you have to enjoy the journey, not the destination (the outcome). You cant worry about whether or not you will get the girl, you just have to get her to like you. You have to be SOO interesting that she will start asking you about yourself. Once that happens, youre in. You cant let on to them that you like them, or it ruins the mystery. You will have to get used to rejection, but dont worry, after the first couple of times, you will get used to it and brush it off. You also have to get "looking strupid" out of your head. Because until you learn how to talk to them, you will look stupid every time to them. But think about it like this. 5 minutes after you leave the women that rejected you, they will never remember you existed.
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Usually the woman will be with her friends, and trying to pull her away is instant rejection. So what you do is, figure out something that the whole group of girls would be interested in discussing, and talk at ALL of them. Like youre doing a performance. Keep all of their attention and involve them all. You will get all of their approvals, have them all intrigued, you can get some of them to talk to each other, and work on pulling away the one you want. keeping one female's attention and interest is hard enough let alone 4 or 5 of them at the same time...
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Yeah. He could get a bunch of guy friends to ask the group's females for a dance while letting the female he wants without a dance partner...that's your cue. To ask her to dance. Well, for that to happen, the girls have to say yes . Hm, getting laid will sky rock your confidence, thus, your success with women. Want a shortcut, OP? Do you have a Player as a friend? a Thug? A Bad boy? Ask him to hook you up with an attractive woman. You always know a guy is really a friend of yours when he worries about your sex life .
boogieboy Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 keeping one female's attention and interest is hard enough let alone 4 or 5 of them at the same time... Thats true but keep in mind they DO want to pay attention to a guy the think is cute, and it takes practice. Lusitan, in the clubs Ive been to, you dont even have to talk much, just tap the woman and ask her to dance, sometimes take her hand. If she goes, youre in! Im not a dancer though, actually I hate dancing. So I'd just go in to talking.
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