carhill Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Hi and thanks for the update. In your jurisdiction, can you sue for a no-fault divorce with it being uncontested, presuming she would not spend the money to respond? If so, try that. My stbx and I did it this way (she filed and I did not respond) and we're currently in the cooling-off period and doing the financial settlement paperwork, though the financial parts were settled before we filed (accounts separated, property divided legally, etc.). It's just now making it official through the courts. If you and she can cooperate, you can do this inexpensively and relatively quickly, depending on your jurisdiction. Unless she is willing and has the money to respond legally, her lack of desire to divorce should not inhibit you. BTW, in my age group, it's not uncommon for a woman to retain her ex's last name, especially when they've been married awhile. Perhaps not so common in your age group. Practically speaking, I can empathize with your story. IMO, now is a good time to reclaim your independent spirit and firm up or begin friendships which can sustain you through this process. I've even begun to dabble in the personal ads but don't really have any heart in the efforts yet, mainly because I'm not legally divorced. The key, IMO, is to try different things, explore different aspects of your life and find those which sustain and nurture you in this time. Best wishes
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