gordon_gc Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 well, my gf and i finally broke up last wednesday. The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoster and I'm so sad and upset our relationship is over. Pretty much, she loves me, i love her but we are from 2 different backgrounds. I'm Jewish, She is Muslim. She talked about me to the parents and they don't agree with the relationship whatsoever. As a result, she pretty much had to choose between her love for me and her love for her parents. Anyway, she still wanted to keep me around as a 'friend'. I told her none of us would be able to do that because we both have strong feeling for eachothers I told her we needed to be in No Contact for a while. At least until one of us would feel detached. I told her we shouldn't call, or text at all. I blocked her facebook so i wouldn't be tempted to look at it (major set back everytime i check). I told her i was doing all this out of love, not because i hated her. I now regret my choice and wonder if i did the right thing. I'm thinking that I should have gone along with the whole friend thing, keep her around and make her realise how much she felt for me. That way, I have the feeling she could have fought our relationship more in regards to the parents. What would you have done ? Cut contacts, remain friends or else ? and what do you think the outcome would have been in regards to your decision ? I need some insight. I'm so lost. so desperate.
TheLoneSock Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 make her realise how much she felt for me. You'll accomplish this through distance and no communication. Don't worry, not contacting her is the best thing you can be doing right now.
harmfulsweetz Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I think you did the right thing by ceasing contact with her. Being friends with someone who you have romantic feelings for, and she you, is pretty much asking to be stuck in limbo for a long time. Move on, I get it, it's hard, harder to accept because the feelings you have for each other are so raw, and only put an end to by outside forces. However, it pretty much sounds like she has made her choice, her family, religious values etc overrule her love for you. Being friends with someone only for the purpose of winning them back is entirely the wrong reason to stay friends. Give yourself some time to heal, to grieve what you have lost, and her too, then see if and when you are ready, to actually enter a friendship based on just that, friendship.
Author gordon_gc Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Being friends with someone only for the purpose of winning them back is entirely the wrong reason to stay friends. Give yourself some time to heal, to grieve what you have lost, and her too, then see if and when you are ready, to actually enter a friendship based on just that, friendship. I know you are right and I know I want more than friendship. All I'm saying is what if I was emotionally stronger to make a friendship happen. It's really hard for me and probably even harder for her having to choose. Just hope she realise she deserves my love and her parents' love. Both are not impossible and she needs to stand for what she wants!
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