tag2412 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hello, I think I may have 'missed the boat' so to speak as I can not find any guys around my age who are single in London. I came out of a long-term relationship just under a year ago and since then it has been pretty dire in the dating stakes. I'm almost 25 and the only guys I ever seem to meet who are single are either over 30 or under 21. I also don't get to meet many single guys anyway. I recently moved to London. I am studying for a masters which is heavily populated by 'mature' students, I work in an office with one woman and one gay guy, I live alone. I do all the ususal things people are supposed to do-I go to the gym, after work drinks, Sunday readings in parks but there never seems to be anyone near my age (who looks single) there. I've always tried to live by the 'if you stop looking the right person will come along' but I've not been looking for a while and it really isn't working. Have I missed my chance to meet someone my age??
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hello, I think I may have 'missed the boat' so to speak as I can not find any guys around my age who are single in London. I came out of a long-term relationship just under a year ago and since then it has been pretty dire in the dating stakes. I'm almost 25 and the only guys I ever seem to meet who are single are either over 30 or under 21. I also don't get to meet many single guys anyway. I recently moved to London. I am studying for a masters which is heavily populated by 'mature' students, I work in an office with one woman and one gay guy, I live alone. I do all the ususal things people are supposed to do-I go to the gym, after work drinks, Sunday readings in parks but there never seems to be anyone near my age (who looks single) there. I've always tried to live by the 'if you stop looking the right person will come along' but I've not been looking for a while and it really isn't working. Have I missed my chance to meet someone my age?? Do you mean, "there are no good -looking looking guys my age, single" or do you really mean what you say? How do you know they are single? Do you check out their ring finger or do you see most of them with their arm around a girl's waist? Or you're saying you see guys but they don't approach you, thus, you assume they are single? Passiveness leads nowhere. The greatest Empires the world has seen, were created because a dude was restless and went out there to do something big. Instead of having the mindset of "everyone has a girlfriend", simply go there and chat a guy up. Ask him out. "Chase" him. How about giving a chance to the older guys by the way?
Roxanna Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Wah wah waah. Agree with the above poster. You could always try online dating also.
Odyssey Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I've always tried to live by the 'if you stop looking the right person will come along' but I've not been looking for a while and it really isn't working. Nahh... you've misinterpreted the saying. The saying is more about the attitude, meaning that you shouldn't put too much expectation on something. It's a care-free attitude. But it doesn't mean giving up. It's not game over, you're still young.
boogieboy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 You have to go GET the guys you want, you have to talk to them and risk rejection. You willing to do that?
MrFun Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 either over 30 or under 21 Go for the over 30s. Guys your age will usually go for younger women. In five years you're going to start attracting guys over 40. The odd 25 year old might hang out with you for a while, but don't count on him sticking around. All the best
Soul Bear Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I have to disagree with guys your age going for younger women. I'm 24, and since I was 16 I have always dated older women. Younger women just don't have that je ne c'est quoi
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I have to disagree with guys your age going for younger women. I'm 24, and since I was 16 I have always dated older women. Younger women just don't have that je ne c'est quoi That's a personal preference of yours. Most guys I know go for the younger females. Myself included. They have that en esencia that older women replace as they age, with a sort of assertiveness. But I agree that older women tend to be better in the sack than the younger ones.
Soul Bear Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) whaaaaat?!! I never said anything about them being better in the sack I just find they have their heads screwed on a bit better. Besides that, 25 is still very young, it's almost a quarter of your life. There are loads of single guys your age, OP. What kind of places are you going to to try and meet them? Boogie has it right, you have to get them. As a guy, I won't chase. If she thinks she is worth it then I expect her to make the effort for the first part. If i'm interested then i'll reciprocate. Edited October 11, 2009 by Soul Bear
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 whaaaaat?!! I never said anything about them being better in the sack I just find they have their heads screwed on a bit better. Besides that, 25 is still very young, it's almost a quarter of your life. There are loads of single guys your age, OP. What kind of places are you going to to try and meet them? Boogie has it right, you have to get them. As a guy, I won't chase. If she thinks she is worth it then I expect her to make the effort for the first part. If i'm interested then i'll reciprocate. Ahaha, the older women, I got as a nuance . I must praise you for your mindset. Don't chase a woman. She might be interested in you but women, when they are interested or not, will appreciate the attention - chasing - and will lead you on. I wish more guys were like you. That's the spirit!
sb129 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 there are THOUSANDS of single guys in London at that age! I used to live there, and trust me, I know. You need to branch out. I have never met someone through work or the gym, its always been through other friends or extracurricular activities. I met my husband through online dating in London.....
Zeta4PhiSius Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Guys being passive? WTF?! All I've heard throughout Loveshack is how guys are SUPPOSED to be the LEADER, the INITIATOR, the one that starts everything in dating. And women scream and cry when they're not doing their job. That's not the case or what?
Soul Bear Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) Zeta- That's not the case. Not everyone is a stereotype We all learn different things from different experiences that shape us into other ways of thinking. Lusitan- Thanks bro Appreciate that. Edited October 11, 2009 by Soul Bear
Zeta4PhiSius Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Zeta- That's not the case. Not everyone is a stereotype We all learn different things from different experiences that shape us into other ways of thinking. *sigh* I wish there were a manual that makes this stupid thing called dating much easier. Like 1. Do this here, 2. do this when she does this, 3. She does this, then do this, etc. *frustrated*
Soul Bear Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 That's the thing, all you can do is be YOU. No manual required You can't force something that was never meant to be, and you can't try to be who you think the other person wants you to be/is looking for. No point in living a lie. Just be yourself, and they'll either love it or hate it.
TheLoneSock Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hello, I think I may have 'missed the boat' so to speak as I can not find any guys around my age who are single in London. I came out of a long-term relationship just under a year ago and since then it has been pretty dire in the dating stakes. I'm almost 25 and the only guys I ever seem to meet who are single are either over 30 or under 21. I also don't get to meet many single guys anyway. I recently moved to London. I am studying for a masters which is heavily populated by 'mature' students, I work in an office with one woman and one gay guy, I live alone. I do all the ususal things people are supposed to do-I go to the gym, after work drinks, Sunday readings in parks but there never seems to be anyone near my age (who looks single) there. I've always tried to live by the 'if you stop looking the right person will come along' but I've not been looking for a while and it really isn't working. Have I missed my chance to meet someone my age?? Move to the US
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Guys being passive? WTF?! All I've heard throughout Loveshack is how guys are SUPPOSED to be the LEADER, the INITIATOR, the one that starts everything in dating. And women scream and cry when they're not doing their job. That's not the case or what? What guys are supposed to do, is irrelevant. Women wanted equality, they got it baby! Unless the women only wants the good stuff... Access to jobs, same paychecks men get, same opportunities but on the relationship field, if they want me to treat them like a Princess, and to do the things my grandfather did, ah, ladies, you are going to get a heavy rain going down on your head . By chasing women and treating them to free dates and whatever, you are putting her on a pedestal. And spoiling her. That is soooooo old - fashioned. A truly strong woman doesn't want that.. I've always made sure I respected a woman enough to not pay for dinner, or to call her or text her or to chase her. Yes or no? if Yes, there's a bed there, if no, go your way, I go mine, no time and no patience for 'courtship' baby! This is the 21th century and equality is equality! Oh yeah, I two females ask me out. One was a self - declared Feminist. When she invited me, she told me she was expecting me to pay for dinner. So much for Feminism . What do you think I did? The other female, after we had dinner and the bill came, instead of offering to pay her half, got up and was putting her coat on. I called the waiter to the side, gave him the money to pay what I ate, told him the lady was going to pay her part by credit card and left the restaurant. Oh, and she had to walk home too . Shame that equality doesn't mean she wants to share the bills or the price of the gas. And guys, women will tell you they don't owe you sex just because you paid for dinner or lunch. That is true and modern. Now, don't be a sucker. Tell her that you don't owe her dates or the mere act of chasing her or asking her out. Let's see if they like that .
sb129 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 this isn't a thread about feminism or who pays for what on a date. Start a new one if you want to gripe about that.
Jaytb Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I have to disagree with guys your age going for younger women. I'm 24, and since I was 16 I have always dated older women. Younger women just don't have that je ne c'est quoi Je ne sais quoi
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 this isn't a thread about feminism or who pays for what on a date. Start a new one if you want to gripe about that. Who's talking about feminism? A response to a guy's comment warrants the creation of a thread? Just motivating the original Poster to get out of the bench and ask a guy out, lest she wants to stay single. Oh and I'm not griping. I make sure my nephews and my male friends leave the sucker mentality behind when they meet a girl .
sb129 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 You aren't painting a particularly pretty picture of the "first date" scenario. I wouldn't date you with that attitude.
Lusitan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) You aren't painting a particularly pretty picture of the "first date" scenario. I wouldn't date you with that attitude. Why would I date you when there are so many beautiful girls giving out sex like it's snowing in the North Pole? See, this is why I love Feminism. Prior to feminism, men had to do the 'right' thing. Marry the girl. Have sex with only one girl, marry the girl and provide for her. That means at least 18 years of hard working to support the kid and many more years spend with the woman. Add the knacks women adore so much, the trips, holidays, the big house, the SUV etc and you become a work horse. But feminism unlocked Men's chains. A man, no longer has to get married to get sex. Like a good friend of mine says: sex with the same woman everyday gets boring. Humans weren't made for Monogamy. How awful, to be tied down to the same woman forever. Impossible in reality, as the very low rates of marriage are and the enormous rates of divorce are, worldwide. More and more males are either simply giving up on the idea of marriage, living together with a woman or even having a romantic relationship with a woman. It's just too much trouble for something that any man can get for free. This is where Feminism shines the most. Feminism freed Women's sexuality and in turn, gave a higher degree of freedom to men. Because now, guys if they are smart, can get as much sex as they want from many different beautiful females without having to marry her/them, in return. I'm not painting a pretty picture for the first date, because you are a woman. To a man, who is reading this and as he begins to realize he can get whoever he wants as long as he finds what are attraction buttons are, and not having to pay for it, by having to have a relationship with the woman... he's in Heaven. Now a woman, as she begins to realize that Feminism gives her far more negatives than positives, gets mad because more and more males are waking up to the fact that relationships. Not worth the hassle. How bleak the future is for women, isn't it? As she begins to age, she sees that guys aren't going after her anymore. She also notices that the guys she thought only wanted to have fun with her, the immature 20's somethings, are just a younger version of the 30 and the 40 year old male who no longer wants to take the role of the provider ie, marriage or a serious relationship. Take it from my friends. Most of them are Players, Thugs and Bad Boys. Most of them are having the time of their life. Most of them are sleeping with very beautiful 18 year old girls at the prime of their life. No dramas, no issues, no obligations. So guys, you have two options. Be sweet and caring and romantic, treat a woman like a Princess, be traditional and maybe you'll get a shot at the girl. But here's the kicker. My grandpa, did all of what my grandma wanted because he knew that the girl, my grandma never had a boyfriend. Why would you, a man, waste your time and money and effort on someone who has been with someone else already? Because it's the right thing to do? It's tradition? Oh boogey do boogey, tradition goes both ways and that means the woman if she follows tradition, has to be a virgin. Equality.. equality... just a word that means 'I get to have everything and buy a cake for free' Or, you can be romantic and caring and use that as a stand- alone 'coin'. let women pay their food and their dates, she gets to go out with you. The decent thing to do is to pay for that honour. Romance has served me well. Indifference too. No matter the method, truth is. There are tons of ways, just find the one that particular female has closer to her heart. You have no obligation to women. Only to yourself. The other option is to be the 'jerk' every woman cries about but wants to be with, madly. You can be that guy. The 20 year old something, the 30 year old something, the 40 year old something, who has no debt, no house to pay for, no kids to raise, no divorce, no alimony, no child support, no boring sex or worse, no sex at all because you are married, and the best thing is: You might be getting older, but the women always stay the same age. Because, the woman is never the same. Aha, The future is going to be fun. Come on guys, you are the Prize. You are the Princes of The Universe. Cherry pick all you want, it's yours for the taking . So. Are you going to chase a woman? Edited October 11, 2009 by Lusitan
silverfish Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Well I don't live in London, but I am from the Uk and do recognise your problem. I work with a lot of 20 something girls and a lot of them are single...it seems they go from fairly serious relationships early on, to that not working out, to realising a lot of the 'better' men are taken in their mid to late twenties. Are you from London? Do you still hang out with your student / school friends? I wonder whether your social group might be holding you back a bit. sometimes that age you get typecast - I know I did. I moved away from my home city and got to know a lot of new people, did new things. I'm not saying moving is the answer but maybe get out of your comfort zone a bit. Think about going out to some new places, maybe get a p/t job, or volunteer, do a night class, whatever you are interested in. if you go to the same pubs / clubs with the same group of people a change of scene might work.
burning 4 revenge Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 I have to disagree with guys your age going for younger women. I'm 24, and since I was 16 I have always dated older women. Younger women just don't have that je ne c'est quoi Is this becoming the rule there as well? Here in the more sophisticated urban centers in the United States its becoming more common for established single women over 30 to date younger men than it is for them to date men their own age
sb129 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Again: start a new thread Lusitan You don't have to date me- I am happily married to a guy who has no chips on his shoulders about feminists or tradition or any of the other bollocks you spouted in that waffley post of yours.
Recommended Posts