uongy Posted December 1, 2003 Posted December 1, 2003 hey...as some of u may know from previous posts,i have been trying to getover my ex.we broke up because of the distance between us(LDR) and it hurt me deply.i loved her so much bt ive tried to move on.we had no contact since the break up. recently,ive felt great and had moved on.i was enjoying life again with my b-day and xmas and new yr comin very soon.however,she txt me last nite to see if it was my number.she revealed she wanted to keep my number with her deleting other numbers. i asked her why and she said because she wanted to be friends. she also revealed tht she had done some stupid things in dealing with the break up.i started crying when i heard about these. i know tht the best thing to do is to break contact again like before.bt i still have feelings for her and although we both know it cant work,we still love each other. i think tht in the long run,being friends mite be too much for me.am i rite in thinkin this? this recent contact,having just got over the pain,has realy shaken me.im so confused and upset.plz help,inc all details poss,i need as much help as i can get.
MIKEY Posted December 1, 2003 Posted December 1, 2003 I too am going thru a break-up. She tried to be friends and i said no. I cut off all contact. Dont let her get all she wants. I understand you love her and care about her but you need to love yourself more. It hurts like hell not to talk or see the one you love....believe me! Challenge her emotionally!
dlb311 Posted December 3, 2003 Posted December 3, 2003 I think that you should first do whats best for you. If you want the ex in your life still then try out being friends. If in month goes by or even two and things are just to hard. Then let it go and move on. I too have just gone through a break up. Its been almost 4 months. I am not over it by all means. But I tried being friends and it hurt. He said he still had feelings for me and wasn't sure what the future held but he wanted to be optomistic. We broke up because of fear of things getting to serious to fast. He ran out before we could realize what happened. I am confused and haven't really had much contact with him. I am giving space to both of us. And time will tell. But if you want that person back you can cutt of contact but you already did that you she came back. That maybe your chance to get her back if that is what you want. Tell her how you feel and if she still pushes you away then decide what you want. She may thing you are over her. And doesn't want to tell you she wants you back afraid that you have already moved on. I think you should figure out what you truely want. Her or not her. Then decide if your are ready for a friendship. Sometimes keeping in touch and keep it so you become an item again. Don't let her step over the boundries you say what is okay and whats not as a friend. Anyway hope everything works out.
Regulus Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 Up to the part of you showing your emotions in front of her, I think you've doing everything right. (by moving on) No contact is the rule. I travel frequently and have had my share LDR's ending. Most of the time they will make contact after you've been out of sight, out of mind for a while. (given that it ended amicably) I always put on my best poker face and am cordial but brief... no matter how I feel about them. Never let them steer you into revisiting the past and don’t spend an entire evening babbling on the phone, IMing or whatever. You have to show them that you indeed have moved on, your busy, and that you’re basically doing them a favor by responding. This really seems to irritate them and they are almost dumfounded that you’re just fine without them. Believe me, they will contact you wanting more, trying to get that power back. If they don’t, then you’ve lost nothing except an emotional tease and gained a whole lot of confidence in the process. If you ever act needy or show your emotions, your back at square one and all that pain re-surfaces. If it's going to work, they will always come back. But by that time, it’s on your schedule not theirs. Good luck.
Arabess Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 YEP....you go thru MONTHS of agony...and then they re-appear like the PLAGUE from hell!!!!!!!! I've yet to figure out the correct response. Just wanted you to know I IDENTIFIED!
mixedup1 Posted December 14, 2003 Posted December 14, 2003 AARRRRRGGGGG!!!!! I hate that when it happens, only to get burned again for being a nice guy. Looking in from the outside it's ez to say don't do it ......being in the same predicament but not a LDR, feelings and emotions usually override common sense in love. It's a struggle, the best is not to have contact. The hardest is not to have any contact. The reality of it all, you probly will have contact, you probly will cry again, your probly will tell yourself your a stupid @$## for doing it. Love Hurts real bad. I am sorry I am no help, I need help myself. Damn this love thing is a real buggar to deal with. Good Luck me Friend.
michiganmale27 Posted December 26, 2003 Posted December 26, 2003 I agree 100% with you Arabess. I went through all kinds of hell, received an email in July and a text message this past week. Both situations I had been able to get over the pain/hurt and each time it seemed to bring back old scars. I'm all about not contacting ex's. I'm of the mindset that I cannot be friends with someone that I was at one time romantically involved with. I've had three serious relationships in my life, and I have not had any serious contact with any of the three after the breakups. It really is for the best, even with girls I casually dated I typically tend to not be in contact with. Just a personal thing on my end.
werty Posted December 31, 2003 Posted December 31, 2003 may i just ask this : in a breakup relationship, who is usually the one that would want a "no contact" relationship, is it the one being dumped or the one who initiated the break-up...???
werty Posted December 31, 2003 Posted December 31, 2003 then who usually comes back or makes contact first or the one who would break that no contact agreement? the one who broke up and asking for a no contact thing or the dumpeee..... hmmm.. too many questions... so little answers....
lil_miz_depressed Posted December 31, 2003 Posted December 31, 2003 i know how u feel except i wouldnt go back 2 my ex so long after witout ne communication. u need 2 no whether u really luv this person or ur just sympathetic of the things she did. wen u broke up as u said u were getting betta & if she just came in2 ur life again remember wat made u happy she will also be hurt maybe u could tell her that u need sum time 2 think its always the best way 2 go that way she wont be rejected straight away
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