JustYourGuy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hi all. My boyfriend and i had a fight in sept this year. I snooped on his voicemail because of his actionstowards me for the past few months. I dont recommend SNOOPING! Ever! Dont ever do it! I dont know why I'm saying that, but I felt bad after doing it. But I did find juicy info. For the past few months, my bf has been distant. We rarely go out. I invite him, it's always, "let's just have lunch on Monday or Tuesday". WTF? Lunch is only an hour or an hour and a half. I want to spend more time with him than that. He also stops by my apartment every now and then but the problem is he does not communicate with me. I mean, yeah, he's physically present but I am the only one talking. I ask him, how are you, he'll give me short answers. My main concern with him is COMMUNICATION. Before I don't a cellphone, so I email him. AND 9 times out of 10, he will not respond. I invite him to hang on a weekend, he won't respond. FACT: For the year 2009, we have yet to go out on a weekend? We have never, not even once, went out to hang on a Saturday or Sunday. Going back to the story, he does not update me. I will just find out later that he is out of state. I mean, come on, one text or phone call will suffice. Just inform me that he's going someplace and that he may not be able to respond to my text or calls or emails. What am I going to do? Tell him not to go? Who am I? If he wants to go visit Miami or NY, then go. I'm not going to stop him. For many weeks or even months now, I have been feeling disregarded, kicked to the curb, sidelined. It feels like I don't know him anymore. I don't know what's happening in his life. Does he still have a job? Is he having financial problems? He promised me to meet me at least 4 times and all of those four times, he didnt show up. He did not even text me to tell me he's not going to make it. I WAITED ALL DAY AND NIGHT! WTF? Even if I am just a friend, not a boyfriend, I will still get mad, because he promised and he made me wait. On his bday, I so wanted to be there to celebrate it. He told me first, he's going out to dinner with his mom. Then his story changed. He's going to watch a cirque de soleil type of show with his whole family. Then around 10 PM on his bday night, his girl friend posted pics of them at a restaurant with balloons and all. he has 2 best girl friends. Even the boyfriend of one of those girl friends was there! I felt so rejected! There is one otehr pic that was posted where it clearly shows they were in a gay bar. Then a day later, that gay bar pic was deleted. For weeks I have been inviting him to celebrate his bday. I will treat him to whatever he wants. And he just said no. Now I don't believe that he ever went to that cirque de soleil show. I mean, he could have just told me, his bestfriends are treating him out. He disregarded my feelings. He did not invite me to come over to wherever place they were. Then came Monday, we met. I told him I found out they went to a gay bar and that I felt rejected and sad that I wasn't there to celebrate his bday. He said something to the tune of what's the big deal, it's just us (him and his girl friends). Had I not told him I knew abou tit, he would not have told me. Am I overreacting to this? Then right after, I told him I snooped on his voicemail and found out 12 saved messages from 3 different guys. My bday was Sept 1. Most of the voicemails were dated the first week of Sept. We did not do anything on my bday. He did not even come see me to greet personally. Going back to the story I told him who are these guys asking you to a dinner and a movie on a friday and weekends? I envy those 3 guys, at least my bf goes out with them clubbing and dinner and movies on a weekend. There was this one voicemail dated Sept 2 or 3, timestamp of 12:09 AM and it says, "hey I'm outside ur house right now, just want to say goodnight and hope your feeling better" WHAT THE F*CK!!!! 9 minutes past midnight and this guy is outside my bf's house to say goodnight????? I asked my bf if he ever cheated or is cheating on me. I cant recall what he said. He was just so furious, shouting, ready to punch me in the face. He's shouting get out of my car, I need to be someplace right now. Mind you, that day I told him about me snooping his vm, we were supposed to meet and get together, he promised that days before. But then I got brushed off again. At first he told me he needs to go home and fix his things, then while inside his car, his excuse changed to he needs to be someplace. It's as if somebody was waiting for him. All the time he was shouting, I was begging him, crying, begging him to calm down and let me explain. I felt like he turned the tables against me and made me look like the culprit. And then he said, i love you but im not in love with you. I hope it's not true, maybe he just said that because he's angry. It will officially be 3 weeks on Monday Oct 12 since I confronted him. I called him at least 4 times already, left vm, texted him telling him Im sorry, but I have not gotten a reply yet. Today I volunteered at a feeding center. While I was walking home I started to think of him and I cried. When I got home, I called him and cried my heart out. I told him I cant contain what I am feeling and that I needed to let it out. He hasn't blocked me on facebook. But he did hide his profile pic so Im not able to see it. We are not friends on facebook. That's my story. Any comments welcome.
Author JustYourGuy Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 To add to what I posted above... Maybe I'm jsut being paranoid. But he has been using Not Meant To Be as his ringtone as far as I can remember, since last year. At first it was a Ryan Cabrera song then he changed it to Not Meant To Be. I looked up the lyrics to that song and it struck me. Maybe my bf setting up that song as his ringtone is his way of subtly telling me, hinting me, he's ready to leave the relationship and he is just a coward for not telling me upfront? Why can't they just tell us face to face what they feel, that they don't feel the same anymore, that they want to break free?
icecreamland Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 hey friend, sorry to hear about all this! hmm he doesn't seem nice at all, i know i dont know him but to be honest it seems like he is moving on, and you are helping in that by still being around i know it is hard but you need to go no contact with him, just focus on yourself, and just remember how good it would feel if he contacted you for once! and over time you will get over it all! good luck,
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