sveltskye Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 My friend recently called a suicide hotline. He is now in a psych ward and I went to visit him. He used to have feelings for me, but I thought he had worked through them. But when I came to visit him he was very clingy and needy and basically asked me to move in with him. I reminded him that I have my own house and my own life but I am very concerned and highly disturbed. I am one of his few friends and I am seriously going to try and get him a bigger network when he's out but I am really worried about his dependency on me and mental state in general. I feel like I don't want to be around him alone or not in public right now, but I'm going to go talk to the pastor at my church and I hope that he will guide me a little bit about how to proceed in supporting my friend, who obviously has abandonment issues (he was talking about worrying about me moving away and I reminded him also that I couldn't promise that I wouldn't). I want to support him through this while at the same time making sure I have firm boundaries and look out for myself as well. He's never been violent to me and I've never felt in danger around him but I am uneasy now knowing that he still has feelings for me and I don't want to torture him as well. I want to help him get more support and help with a new doctor and stuff but at the same time I don't want to put more pressure on him emotionally by being around me too much. Does anyone have any idea how I can handle this situation? I feel so mixed up right now.
Meaplus3 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hi there. I'm sorry to hear your friend is going through a rough time. Honestly, I think the best thing you can do right now is just try and listen as best you can and be there for him. Best wishes. Mea:)
Jada Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I'm glad to say that there are people like you in the world, from what you've listed I don't think you need anyones help you seem to have everything logically mapped out it's just putting it into real life that is the problem, they may not run to plan. Your friend is emotionally unstable and require a shoulder to lean on and yes he will need firm boundries. I've been in that pursition but not as bad as that and it's going to take time, months maybe years before he can get back on his feet again. A counsellor at this time may help but it depends if he can be helped back from the brink. I can only surmise what your friend is going through, it's going to be tough for a while for him, life's like that it throws you a curve and sometimes you fall hard. Getting advice from the church sounds like a great idea, and I hope things turn out for your friend in the end.
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