FeelingLonely98 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 OK - I seriously wonder about something ... I haven't been thru this - you guys have (well, some of you have - and those are the ones I really want to hear from). When the ex-W or ex-H (or separated, not necessarily ex) "comes back" - how do they do it? What was it like? What did they say? What did you do? How did it play out? Sorry so many questions, but I can't stop thinking about it!!!
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 ~ When the ex-W or ex-H (or separated, not necessarily ex) "comes back" ~ What was it like? Not that I am expecting it or revolving my life around that day - just that I want to know how it was for those who have been thru it. THANKS!
CaliGuy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 You're not going to find many success stories on this subject, FYI.
Lishy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 OK - I seriously wonder about something ... I haven't been thru this - you guys have (well, some of you have - and those are the ones I really want to hear from). When the ex-W or ex-H (or separated, not necessarily ex) "comes back" - how do they do it? He started calling and texting and making small talk and when I gave him the time of day he told me what a huge mistake he made and how much he loves me, asked me to marry him and said everything I wanted to hear! What was it like? Confusing .... What did they say? How much he missed me and thought about me at least 15 times a day, how I was such the right person for him but he didnt realise etc What did you do? Listened to what he had to say, slept with him once , thought about my options How did it play out? I realised that the person who broke my heart was not the man for me and I walked away. It felt good to get my chance at having him back and I will always remember the good times but now I do not have the broken hearted feelings anymore (after 10 months apart) I can see him for who is really is! Sorry so many questions, but I can't stop thinking about it!!! Hope that helped
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Thanks Lishy - That's kind of how I would envision it. Good Luck To You!!! Any others?
Nuala83 Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 OK - I seriously wonder about something ... I haven't been thru this - you guys have (well, some of you have - and those are the ones I really want to hear from). When the ex-W or ex-H (or separated, not necessarily ex) "comes back" how do they do it? He started by texting with general friendly chit chat. I didn't respond. He kept at it. I never responded. I'd told him calmly and collectedly that I didn't want a friendship. The he started phoning, each time with me telling him the same thing and him sounding sad on the phone. THEN one day he phoned asking to see me, I told him I didn't want a friendship and he blurted out "neither do I, I have to see you, I've been a fool, I really love you and I want you back". What was it like? It came as a surprise, I was beginning to wonder if he was gone for good. What did they say? He repeatedly apologised, tried to explain why he had been acting like an idiot, told me missed me and wanted me back. What did you do? I said no. I initialy thought it was just a once off and he would change his mind in a few days so I declined all his invitations to meet. How did it play out? He wrote me letters of apology and he kept trying to meet up with me. We met up, talked a lot over the next few weeks and gradually over a couple of months, things started to feel like the way they used to feel. He seemed like the kind man he used to be. It was very gradual and still ongoing. Sorry so many questions' date=' but I can't stop thinking about it!!! [/quote'] It's perfectly natural, I was the same. Most people on here have though about it loads. Dunno if that helps you at all.
BCCA Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 A good number of people never come back, and it seems that guys are more likely to come back than women, based on what Ive seen here. My ex never came back, or made any attempt to. Its been over a year. Not that I am expecting it or revolving my life around that day - just that I want to know how it was for those who have been thru it. Youre looking for hope, which is natural, but dont. Let it go, completely, and focus on moving on.
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 ... My ex never came back, or made any attempt to. Its been over a year... So, how have you coped the last year? Are you dating? Are ok now? When did the pain start subsiding?
lonelypiscesguy Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I'd say this is a natural question to ask, IMHO. My ex left me for being a jerk. I didn't blame her. I begged, cried, ad nauseum. So after a painful, lonely year, I met somebody at work. She ended up being a creature from Hell, but anyway...the second year, my ex-wife called one night. She had my number because of my son, BTW. She was hinting around about being scared and unsure of her future, wondering what to do, etc. I guess when you are together for 10 years, you just KNOW how to read between her/his lines, right? I tried to give her my best advice, but she kept going in circles. I think she wanted me to extend that olive branch, but no dice. Her leaving me with my son in tow crushed me. And left me broke and homeless. I had to fight and work hard to get back on my feet, after she took everything but my books. The second time was about SEVEN years later. Again, she had been sniffing around, asking about my work, if I had a GF, etc. Finally, she called one night and just blurted it out, "I want to get back together." I simply said "No." When I'm done, I'm done. I wasn't a jerk, just firm. I must admit, there was a slight ego boost from this, but not much of one. I knew she was worried again and simply saw me as a financial partner, not a lover. Oh yeah, just remembered, after I said no she said, "I just scared." Sweep me off my feet, baby! She was a wonderful wife and mother and I won't say much negative about her. She is no longer with us...RIP, Monkeylou...
Solear Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Hey there, I'm a bloke and this happened to me. When she called me up and told me she was going to suggest something she didnt think i was going to like. I knew it was bad news. She absolutely devastated me, we were engaged and planning a child. I pined for over a year. Eventually got back on my feet and started seeing a few girls. A friend bumped into me and the new girlfriend and within a week I had a call from my ex asking if I wanted to meet up. Whether it was the new girl or the fact I had my own apartment. whichever she wanted me back and told me so. We made love but I couldn't get out of my mind the fact that she'd left me so easily and so coldly after I'd invested so much time and love in her. I never called her back. I wrote her a letter telling her I couldn't see her anymore because I knew it would lead to me being hurt.
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 Hey there, I'm a bloke and this happened to me. When she called me up and told me she was going to suggest something she didnt think i was going to like. I knew it was bad news. She absolutely devastated me, we were engaged and planning a child. I pined for over a year. Eventually got back on my feet and started seeing a few girls. A friend bumped into me and the new girlfriend and within a week I had a call from my ex asking if I wanted to meet up. Whether it was the new girl or the fact I had my own apartment. whichever she wanted me back and told me so. We made love but I couldn't get out of my mind the fact that she'd left me so easily and so coldly after I'd invested so much time and love in her. I never called her back. I wrote her a letter telling her I couldn't see her anymore because I knew it would lead to me being hurt. Thanks for sharing. Hope you're doing better now. PEACE.
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