Pasgen Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hi, I've been seing this guy for about 3 weeks. We both have a different work schedule during weeks and we live in different towns (about 30 minutes in car when there's no traffic so it isn't that bad). I really enjoy his company and when I'm with him I have the feeling that he feels the same way about me. The "problem" is that we've been seing each other every week-end for the past 3 weeks. Last two weeks he called or text me during the week just to say hi or replied to me text. Last week-end, he even presented me to a couple of his friends. While we were there, one of them was talking to his girlfriend on the phone and asked her to join us. During that conversation, he refered to me as "the girlfriend of ...". During that same week-end we had a great time and before we left each other he told me "have a good night darling". After that date, I was head o ver heals! I really tought that we had something but this week, no phone calls, no text, nothing... I finally decided to call him on friday to see how he was and he seemed happy to hear me. He told me that he was going to his mom's place this week-end and that we should do something on sunday if he doesn't comes back too late. When I'm with him, I don't have any doubts that he's interested but that whole week without having news kind of made me question myself about his feelings for me. Sure I don't expect him to marry me after only 3 weeks but I would like to know if he's interested for potentially more with me... Should I ask him straight forward about what his intentions are or is it too soon? Also, how should I bring the subject not to scare him? Am I too insecure or is there really something to worry about? Please help!!!
device04 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I think it depends on how much time you have spent together. You said you see each other every other weekend, but is it for the whole weekend, or for a few hours? Either way, I'd lean towards saying that it's too early to really have that talk. I mean, did he mention anything about work being crazy or anything else that might have been going on during the week? I think it's good that you are staying aware and keeping things in perspective despite how well it's going. Maybe try and just see how things go the next time you see him, how he behaves, etc and decide from there if you're at a point where you'd like to know if this is going somewhere more or not, or if you just want to explore things more. I know, not a great answer, but I think you should wait.
boogieboy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Its too early to have that kind of talk. What you should do is be SO fun to be with - when you are together - that he will want to talk on the phone with you more, and then he might bring up that conversation. If you cant make yourself more interesting, then just be yourself. If he wants to be exclusive with you, he will make it known.
Author Pasgen Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Thank you for your quick answer!!! I've seen him for the whole week-end (or at least most of the week-end) on all of the three occasions... My main concern is that when I'm with him, he seems pretty happy to be with me but is it normal for him not to have at least text me something this week? He did mention something about being busy at work this week. The thing is that one of my ex was always finding excuses by "fear of engagement" and even though I'm not asking him to promess me anything (like you said I think it's way too soon) I think I'm just scared to repeat the same mistakes. On the other end, I'm totally aware that he and my ex are two different persons and he shouldn't be paying for the other. I think I just don't know how to act anymore.... I don't want to get my heart crushed again but I don't want to "over do it" either!!! I find it hard to find a good balance... I'm not disappointed by your answer, that's what I wanted! Good neutral advice!!!
device04 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Well, you've obviously spent a good amount of time together, and I think it sounds like things are going well and progressing. I wouldn't get too hung up over him not contacting you this past week. He still has made plans and wants to see you, so that should mean way more than anything else. It's good you are aware that a past relationship is effecting you, but you also do have to let go of what a past bf did and really focus on this opportunity. Don't overthink, which I know is really hard. I'm in the same situation (as my own post today shows) and it's important to keep perspective, but don't let it stop you from enjoying his company and being your true self. It sounds like you're doing alright and you are aware of your current mindset and where you'd like to be; just keep that dialogue going with yourself.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Personal question - but have you two slept together? That can change things. But I guess overall, my suggestion is get more hobbies. Things to keep you busy so you're not waiting around to hear from him. It's too early to have "the talk."
Author Pasgen Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Yes we did but not every single time we saw each other... For example, last friday he sent me a message to know if I would go out for diner with him... It was pretty much at the last minute. I accepted, we went to the restaurant for diner, watch a movie at his place and I went back home as I had to go walk my dog...
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