angelface78 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 (edited) Its been 3.5 months since the breakup of my five year relationship. Since then my ex fiance has found a new girl. It hurts sooo bad. I try and try not to think about it..but the thoughts just dont stop. Why am i having such a hard time when he is doing just fine?? I broke my 3 months of NC cause i just couldnt take it anymore. He kept posting headlines on his myspace that said things about her. Example of his headlines "Shorty..have a beautiful day..cant wait to see you this afternnon princess" This coming from the man i have been with for 5 years. I got sick of it (i know i shouldnt have been lookin) so finally after 3.5 months of NC i broke it. He was shocked when i called. I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said "something like that" i asked yes or no? He said he didnt want to answer that question. Well ever since that phone call his headlines stopped. From that very day..his myspace moods changed from amorous and loved to simply blessed. I interpret that as he is done pretending that he is soo in love. He is still with her though. I hate it I dont want him with her. He was mine for 5 years and i just cant let go. She doesnt even know about me. Its like i never even existed!! 5 years wasted! I know i have to stop acting like this..having these dumb thoughts. I just cant move on guys...but im trying. Ive started working out just recently..something i enjoy doing very much. I have been bed ridden for the past 3.5 months. Im finally getting up, working out, getting my nails done at the shop, shopping a bit. Its all meaningless though. Im just going through the motions. How did he get over me so quickly?? She has nothing on me...i dont understand!! I hate him for never appreciating me. Im a good woman..to good for him even..people always wondered why the hell i was with him. Sorry guys...im just feeling down Edited October 10, 2009 by angelface78
GrayClouds Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 yep i am drink that cool-aid today too. For what it is worth, get the hell off of myspace and the other social networks... you will catch a STD: social transmit disease with symptoms of melancholy and self doubt.
JaggedRoad Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 You should really remove him on myspace and stop checking on his page so you won't have to worry about his life. It's easier said than done, but it helps a lot. You have to remember that you are inflicting this pain on yourself. It's really not worth it.
boogieboy Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Youre doing ok because you finally got out of bed and out of the house. Now you have to force yourself to stop looking at his myspace. That is a connection that breaks NC, that is pretty much like calling. Of course you cant call him again... You have to get out on the street and talk to people. Talking to guys-even if you dont want to start anything - will help you move on and gain confidence. You also have to NOT want to hold on to your ex. You have to find reasons not to hold on, you have to NEED to let go. You have to embrace the reasons your ex left you, and use them to let go. The most important part is talking to people. Use guys at bars or wherever to help you gain confidence and forget about your ex. Then when the time comes, and youre ready to date, or you find someone that isnt a complete jerk, you take a chance and check him out.
Author angelface78 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 There is already a great guy who wants to date me. Hes great but i push him away constantly cause of the ex! This guy is smarter, cuter, taller ,sweeter than the ex. Whats my problem??? I have deleted him from myspace...but i still feel the urge to check it....and his girls also. Its like im obsessed!! The thing is shes not his type..so its hard for me to believe hes serious about her. Shes only 20 hes 28. She's a high school dropout..has a two year old son. Doesnt take care of herself physically. I am athletic.. love working out. I have a good figure...take care of myself. Shes chubby. She has no car...needs rides from him everywhere. She works at a water park. Come on guys...that **** depresses me. Why does he choose that over me?? Tell me how do i stop looking at the ****in myspace...give me something that will help me stop?? I will try it...a trick of some kind. Geez i sound pathetic!!
boogieboy Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 There is already a great guy who wants to date me. Hes great but i push him away constantly cause of the ex! This guy is smarter, cuter, taller ,sweeter than the ex. Whats my problem??? I have deleted him from myspace...but i still feel the urge to check it....and his girls also. Its like im obsessed!! The thing is shes not his type..so its hard for me to believe hes serious about her. Shes only 20 hes 28. She's a high school dropout..has a two year old son. Doesnt take care of herself physically. I am athletic.. love working out. I have a good figure...take care of myself. Shes chubby. She has no car...needs rides from him everywhere. She works at a water park. Come on guys...that **** depresses me. Why does he choose that over me?? Tell me how do i stop looking at the ****in myspace...give me something that will help me stop?? I will try it...a trick of some kind. Geez i sound pathetic!! We all went though it. Theres no easy painless way to stop looking at the myspaces. You just have to NOT DO IT. Its a time process, and will get easier as you go. You just have to see the big picture, see yourself in a few months, as confident, and not relying on needing to see the myspaces. You have to constantly poicture yourself in a state where you dont think about him. Find things to do that dont involve the computer. The new guy doesnt sweep you off your feet, and probably never will, so your instinct is right about him. Your not ready yet. You shouldnt talk to him at all unless youre going to date him. He will keep trying if you do. BTW he doesnt choose her over you, he just doesnt choose you. Anything fiils the void afterwards. Whatever you did that he doesnt like, well it wont make sense until you get a new guy that likes everything about you.
Author angelface78 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 The new guy is great..if it werent for the ex....i could see things happenning between us. Its just the wrong time right now This guy likes everything about me. Honestly hes wonderful. All my friends say give him a chance..youre gonna fall for him. Hes perfect for you. I dont know..i cant do it right now. Ok i will not look..how im going to do that is beyond me!! It hurts me. Looking hurts me i have to drum that in my head.
NoneoftheAbove Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 The new guy is great..if it werent for the ex....i could see things happenning between us. Its just the wrong time right now This guy likes everything about me. Honestly hes wonderful. All my friends say give him a chance..youre gonna fall for him. Hes perfect for you. I dont know..i cant do it right now. Ok i will not look..how im going to do that is beyond me!! It hurts me. Looking hurts me i have to drum that in my head. When you feel like checking his page out get up and go for a walk. read a book, turn off your cellphone, turn off your computer.. try to fall asleep. keep your mind busy
Author angelface78 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 ok i will try it guys ;( Im so depressed. I feel like this is a nightmare. Like its not reality. I feel like im living someone else's life. 5 years with someone..and now theyre gone. Its like they died. What a nightmare. I want my old life back ;(
sibehrman Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I was just feeling the same way angelface...my story almost mimics yours exactly. You figure out a way to not feel depressed let me know!
PinkToes Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 angelface, try making a list of everything you didn't like about this guy. Everything he did that pissed you off. All the times you were together and you weren't enjoying it. All the traits you will avoid in the next guy you give your heart to. Write down every little thing you can think of. Even better, make that list on a BIG piece of paper, and stick it up on the wall where you see it a lot. Read it every time you walk by. Do this even if you don't feel like it and don't think it will help. Just do it. The idea is to take the focus off *her* and *him* and what he's doing now, and why does it hurt, and why do you care. All of that is about their stuff, and you need to bring it all back to YOU -- why this situation is good for you. Making a list of the things that weren't working for you will help turn that around in your head. And as an added bonus (although of course this isn't the reason for this little exercise): All the things you didn't like are the things she's stuck with now. ;-)
Author angelface78 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Thank you pink toes...i will try the list thing...
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