bummedout123 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Ok, My boyfriend and i have dated for 2 years and this summer he decided that we started arguing too much and he wanted a break. At the time i had a guy friend(so i thought) that was there for me to cry on his shoulder and said all the right things. I kept asking my boyfriend if he just wanted a break or if he planned to come back to me and he always just said I don't know what will happen. So after a couple weeks this guy friend asked me to a movie. I went to get my mind off things. Well i tried to tell this guy that i just wanted to be friends and nothing more because i still loved my ex and was not ready to move on yet. Well he kept pushing for more and i was emotional and the more i said no the harder he tried. Well my ex came into town and wanted me to go out to eat with him for breakfast and i agreed and we met up. I asked him once again before anything happened with that friend if we were getting back together and he looked at me and said "do u want to argue more?" meaning if we are together that is all we will do. So i left there upset and went to my friends house and watched a movie with him and his brother. Well, eventually after a few months i completely distanced myself from my ex and i started liking this friend and we actually started doing a lot more than what should have happened...intercourse... Well, one day i was at the park and my ex started texting my cell phone and was acting like he wanted to get back together. I got confused and told him i thought he just wanted to be friends because of how much we argued and he said he missed me. Well i had missed him all a long and i told him we would try to work things out but in the mean time i never went to visit him out of town and rarely talked to him still but i kept doing stuff with the friend both physically and of course hanging out. After being broken hearted i didn't trust him to not hurt me again but i didn't have the heart to just either let him go or the other guy go. Well it eventually came out that i was sleeping with the friend while my ex thought we were suppose to be working things out and they both still wanted me and i was told i had to choose and leave the other a lone for good. I picked my ex of two years because i love him so much. I love him with all my heart. But for some reason he thought we were dating during all that and doesn't trust me. I actually told him he and i were not a couple that i would tell him when that is what i wanted. I know what i did was wrong but i was also hurt myself and i didn't know how to handle it. Anyway he loves me i know he does...when he found out about what had been going on he got really upset and told me how much he loved me. But it's been a month and now he's getting on my yahoo messanger Im'ing this friend to try to pry info out of him to see if we are talking and what about. He told me he thought about getting a thing on my cell so that everything i did went to his cell. I mean it's not getting better. Before the break up i have been completely faithful to him. I would do anything in the world for this guy. I am deeply in love and i know me and that friend had intercourse for about a month b4 my ex found out but he broke up with me. Yeah he wanted to work things out but i was scared. What do i do? How do i show my Boyfriend again now that he can trust me? While we were together i was always faithful. I will never technically cheat on anyone but he sees it like i did. He has lied to me several times to hang out with girls one on one and one girl even said they made out and he felt her up while we dated but he said it was a lie and i believed him because i love him . But when i do something during the break up i can't be trusted??? What do u think??
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Could you try paragraphs? My ADD is terribly inflamed tonight and I'd like to help, but I can't read through that.
TheLoneSock Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I think the real question is, have you both worked on the issues that split you two in the first place, or are you wanting to get back together merely because you miss each other? If you get back together because you miss each other, fine, but how long before you're split again? I'd delve into the problem first if I were you. Just my opinion. That way you can get back together for good.
seoa Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 People generally expect you to behave as they would themselves... Chances are, he expects you to be 'unfaithful' because that is how he would behave in the same situation... Just a thought...
callingyouuu Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Don't let yourself become the victim of his accusations. He has way too much control over you, and he knows that you would do anything for him, even take him back after hurting you. You haven't done anything wrong to him, and you DON'T need to prove anything. He's being insensible and is taking his trust issues with you way too far. I actually want to hear a little bit more about the "friend", basically what he thinks about all of this.
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