ebab83 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 This is just a general question for people's perspectives. Had a discussion with a female friend the other night, regarding a comment made to me. We started discussing it, and IME I have found that the best sex comes from the most attraction for that person. What do others think? Agree or disagree?
aerogurl87 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Good sex to me is when I'm able to connect to a person on an emotional and physical level. Also the best sex I've found occurs when I'm in a committed relationship.
Author ebab83 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 I have had sex in committed relationships and sex with someone I have a strong affection for....neither have been as good for me as someone I feel strongly attracted to. Not that I wasn't attracted to my partners, but someone that really attracts physically works best for me.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Mutual attraction on multiple levels (for me, physical, emotional, and intellectual) + high level of passion in each of the individuals + good sexual technique from both = explosive sex.
citizen67 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 for me, the best sex has always been when both parties were very turned on by turning on and satisfying the other person
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 A tender warm up leading to rough passionate sex with me in control, followed by cuddling. With a person I'm commited to. That's been the best in my experience anyway.
Author ebab83 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 Whilst I do understand the commitment aspect. Emotional too. I mean the actual act of sex, not the cuddles after (whilst this is fantastic). Not because you love this person. Again, not that these aren't good reasons to enjoy sex. It isn't quite what I mean. Say for instance then, you loved a partner, and were both committed....would it make good sex, but if you loved a partner, were committed and stronger attracted to this one than the previous it would be better sex?
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Whilst I do understand the commitment aspect. Emotional too. I mean the actual act of sex, not the cuddles after (whilst this is fantastic). Not because you love this person. Again, not that these aren't good reasons to enjoy sex. It isn't quite what I mean. Say for instance then, you loved a partner, and were both committed....would it make good sex, but if you loved a partner, were committed and stronger attracted to this one than the previous it would be better sex? Yes attraction is always big. Normally though I don't find myself in a committed relationship with a girl unless I'm really attracted to her and love her. Attraction isn't just physical though, it's chemical, primeval. Everything from the way they smell to the way they look at you when your both having an orgasm. It all plays a part.
Lizzie60 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Yeah.. mutual attraction.. is a given.. I wouldn't have sex (and I don't think many people would) with someone that repulse me.. Good sex is when the partners take time to explore the other.. that are not selfish lovers.. they make sure their partner is satisfied... Good sex is when it is 'savoured'... when giving a BJ is enjoyable.. delectable.. That is good sex.. no need to be head over heels in love either.. because sometimes the worst sex could be with the person we are living with...
Author ebab83 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 Yes attraction is always big. Normally though I don't find myself in a committed relationship with a girl unless I'm really attracted to her and love her. Attraction isn't just physical though, it's chemical, primeval. Everything from the way they smell to the way they look at you when your both having an orgasm. It all plays a part. I completely agree. I wouldn't be with someone I wasn't attracted to, or didn't love either. I was merely using this as a guide to people that have used 'because I am committed' or 'because I love them'. Hence why I put the wuestion of maybe being MORE attracted to one partner than a previous...would be better sex. Well said on the chemical part too. I am mainly trying to work out here if my F*** buddy IS attracted to me. Whilst saying to me regularly how good the sex is (in cruder terms). Never actually saying if I'm attractive. Not that I have asked. Just wondered whether it would be silly of me to assume that he must be attracted to be enjoying great sex with me.
Author ebab83 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 Yeah.. mutual attraction.. is a given.. I wouldn't have sex (and I don't think many people would) with someone that repulse me.. Good sex is when the partners take time to explore the other.. that are not selfish lovers.. they make sure their partner is satisfied... Good sex is when it is 'savoured'... when giving a BJ is enjoyable.. delectable.. That is good sex.. no need to be head over heels in love either.. because sometimes the worst sex could be with the person we are living with... Fantastically said. I think 'because we love each other' etc is quite a standard answer. Possibly the 'right' thing to say. Not that I think that people aren't telling the truth here, but is that what they believe to be 'good sex'? I think taking the time to pleasure someone and to find out what works for them is a big turn on, and leads to good sex, regardless of relationship or not. Wouldn't this mean though that if you aren't as attracted to someone that you wouldn't make as much effort? Not that this should happen but does it happen nonetheless?
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I completely agree. I wouldn't be with someone I wasn't attracted to, or didn't love either. I was merely using this as a guide to people that have used 'because I am committed' or 'because I love them'. Hence why I put the wuestion of maybe being MORE attracted to one partner than a previous...would be better sex. Well said on the chemical part too. I am mainly trying to work out here if my F*** buddy IS attracted to me. Whilst saying to me regularly how good the sex is (in cruder terms). Never actually saying if I'm attractive. Not that I have asked. Just wondered whether it would be silly of me to assume that he must be attracted to be enjoying great sex with me. Well I'm sure he's got some attraction for you, unless he's just plain desperate and banging you because he can't find anyone else. Sometimes guys do that. Probably not the case though. It also depends on how he treats you when you're not ****ing. Another question is, are you getting feelings for him in any way? If so, I'd be careful. If not, then just keep havin fun.
Author ebab83 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 We are both able to sleep with other people. We are both quite open with each other. He is great with me when we aren't f******. I get texts asking how I am etc. He asked helped me move home recently too. I wouldn't go as far as to say I have feelings no, I am definitely interested in him though. Already aware it won't come to anything more.
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