CarbonCopy Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Do you think it's something that should be there immediately (even if it's just a little) or that it develops over time? I went on a second date with a guy last night and I don't know. He's great, sweet, nice, and has a lot of qualities that I'm looking for in a man. But -- I don't know if I'm sexually attracted to him! It's not his physical looks because he's very cute. It's just... I don't know! I know it's still very early -- only 2 dates and a couple of phone calls -- so I'm going to give him a chance since, so far, he's a great guy. Let's see if something happens...
Yamaha Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 So he needs to be less nice and more like a confident man (sexually ) to get you interested?
alphamale Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Do you think it's something that should be there immediately (even if it's just a little) or that it develops over time? it should be there immediately... I know it's still very early -- only 2 dates and a couple of phone calls -- so I'm going to give him a chance since, so far, he's a great guy. Let's see if something happens... don't even bother
Author CarbonCopy Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 if its been two dates and he hasn't kissed you , and you haven't really wanted him to kiss you, then you know the reality there. No attraction. Don't force something that isn't there, don't date him anymore. Let him go on to someone else that might want to have sex with him. No kiss, and yes, I haven't really had the desire to have him kiss me either. How unfortunate because he really is a nice, great guy, but I guess you can't force attraction to someone, no matter how wonderful they are.
citizen67 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 No kiss, and yes, I haven't really had the desire to have him kiss me either. Yeah No kiss is bad IMO. I went on 3 dates with a guy, who was nice looking, a little boring but not awful, but he never kissed me. I didnt have a burning desire to kiss him, but the incredible wimpiness of him not going in for the kiss (when there were some opportunities). . . BIG turn off. When he asked for date 4 I said no.
Soulmind Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Well... I have a different point of view here. After dating 4 different guys in the last 2 couples of months and starting to think that it was impossible to find a nice guy... then...one guy, one who at first I didn't like physically, turned to be a GREAT SEXY GUY! First I was only attracted to our different cultures (I'm Argentinian, he is Danish and we both live in UK) Our intellectual chemistry was unbelievable, but the first two dates I was definitely NOT attracted to him by his looks...he was not my cup of tea basically. By the third date he made the move of kissing me...and, all I could think was WOW!!!! After that kiss, it got better and better! Now we are exclusive and he already stayed with me....and DOUBLE WOW!!!! And I was so close to dump him because I was not attracted to him (physically). Now, I feel really happy I had in the past instant chemistry, and yes, it was great at the start, but somehow it started to fade... with my new man, it's all the opposite...slow, slow...but burning great! Maybe you need just one kiss?
Author CarbonCopy Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 Well... I have a different point of view here. After dating 4 different guys in the last 2 couples of months and starting to think that it was impossible to find a nice guy... then...one guy, one who at first I didn't like physically, turned to be a GREAT SEXY GUY! First I was only attracted to our different cultures (I'm Argentinian, he is Danish and we both live in UK) Our intellectual chemistry was unbelievable, but the first two dates I was definitely NOT attracted to him by his looks...he was not my cup of tea basically. By the third date he made the move of kissing me...and, all I could think was WOW!!!! After that kiss, it got better and better! Now we are exclusive and he already stayed with me....and DOUBLE WOW!!!! And I was so close to dump him because I was not attracted to him (physically). Now, I feel really happy I had in the past instant chemistry, and yes, it was great at the start, but somehow it started to fade... with my new man, it's all the opposite...slow, slow...but burning great! Maybe you need just one kiss? Well for me, his looks aren't a problem. He's an attractive guy -- great smile, hair, dresses well, etc. He IS physically attractive and I acknowledge that. I'm just not feeling the romantic chemistry there, for whatever reason.
prettybaby Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I personally feel like I need some level of attraction, initially. To me, the first few seconds are important. Sure, I could grow to really like someone or even find them attractive at a later point, but in my own experience, initial attraction makes for a stronger attraction on the long run. Of course, we're all differently wired. So I suppose this may not necessarily be true for everyone.
Left in a Lurch Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 It's kind of funny someone posted on here about a guy that didn't kiss her being a wimp, yet she says she didn't have a burning desire to kiss him. If you are posturing against a kiss and giving off signals that you don't want him to kiss you, why would he be a wimp for not kissing you? You'd rather he forced one on you? So a guy finally deciphers a signal and that makes him a wimp? I just think it's a little lame to think like that about someone you did not want to kiss.
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Well for me, his looks aren't a problem. He's an attractive guy -- great smile, hair, dresses well, etc. He IS physically attractive and I acknowledge that. I'm just not feeling the romantic chemistry there, for whatever reason. chemistry works on many different levels CC, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc. the key is finding someone you have chemistry with on a number of levels, and that is not an easy task.
Sith Apprentice Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 There are different levels of attractions. Here are mine: Heffers- Hit and quit only, won't be seen in public with them. Average looking- Regular Booty calls Hot women- Long term arm candy if I like her personality.
callingyouuu Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 It's kind of funny someone posted on here about a guy that didn't kiss her being a wimp, yet she says she didn't have a burning desire to kiss him. Word. I thought that was weird, as well. I think it's another one of those kind of things where the girl isn't sure where she wants to go but isn't going to bother with the relationship unless the guy takes her there.
cognac Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Tell him to buy a leather jacket, wear a backwards ball cap, grow a goatee and ignore/grunt at everything you say.
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