device04 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 (edited) So I met this girl online, she is an absolute 10, and absolutely hilarious. We spoke on the phone for about 45 minutes after exchanging a couple e-mails. It felt like I was catching up with a long-lost friend, as we just told stupid stories and laughed the whole time. We ended up making tentative plans for Sunday (two days later). We text a little during the day Saturday, and I call her Saturday evening (as promised) to finalize things, but end up leaving a VM. Don't hear back. Next day I send her a playful text and she says she's gotten caught up with a friend. We do make plans for dinner and I see her that night for dinner. Again, lots of laughs and free-flowing conversation. I ask to see her again and she agrees. So, I wait 2 days and call her on Tuesday. Again, she doesn't pick up and I leave a voicemail, saying that I got tired of waiting for her to call me and wondering if she'd like to have drinks on Thursday. Wednesday evening I'm stuck at work and I get a text from her asking if I want to grab dinner. I can't get away but we end up meeting for a drink late night. Good signs again as she willingly meets me in midtown at 10pm (she lives way downtown, I live uptown) and she looks AMAZING, as she literally stops the conversation of a group of guys outside the lounge as she crosses the street to meet me. We have a great time, conversation is easy, she's leaning in and playing with her hair the whole time. As we make our way out she says she had fun and that "we should do this again soon". I had told her about this fundraiser I'm going to tonight, but was waiting for more details from a friend. She tells me to text her when I find out. My only regret is I didn't make more of a move than a hug, but I'm generally cautious/less aggressive about these things anyway. Thursday, I give her a ring and, surprise surprise leave a VM, tell her I have more details and that she should call me back. No contact from her since then. Should I call her again or text? I was thinking of sending a text with something like "hey, are you going to be my date to this event or what?". It seems that she's interested and we have had a lot of fun, but I don't want to come off as too pushy and blow my chance with this girl. Also, what do you do to get past the intimidation of being with someone who you (and most guys, it seems) find supremely physically attractive? She doesn't seem like someone who really wants/needs the attention but at the same time is certainly aware that she catches guys' eyes. Thanks. Edited October 10, 2009 by device04
mortensorchid Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I say go for it. If just based on the reason that you have a pending obligation with the talked about fund raiser occasion. If not too pushy of you (or me) to say, next time you leave a vm or text her, tell her that you need a confirmation of yes or no if she will be coming with you to the fund raiser. If she doesn't respond, then that's obviously a no. And if it's a no, move on.
Author device04 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 Thanks Mortensorchid! I failed to mention that this isn't a fancy fundraiser of any sort that requires RSVPs. But, I was thinking of throwing the "be my date" part in order to firmly place my interest for her out there.
New Again Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 You already invited her in person, and then left her a voicemail about this event. I don't think you should text her. She already knows (because you asked and then followed up and essentially asked again) you are interested and want her to go with you. You don't need to tell her a third time. JMO. Second, everyone poops, so just f'n get over it
Author device04 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Also, what's the deal if she seems to enjoy text message as main style of communication? I know people say it's less personal and to show your true interest you should always call, but if she's the one initiating through text more, do you then use that, or still continue to call?
Yamaha Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 My advice is 2 take her off the pedastal. Ur post subject says all we need to know about ur feelings.
Author device04 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Yea, I can see that point of view but I really believe that I have not done that in her presence. I make fun of her and pointedly do not compliment her too much, if at all, but instead go the opposite direction. I would admit that it may be true in my head, but I've made the effort to not let it come out to her. I think that it's been working for the most part as I do make her laugh a lot and we have had fun so far.
Pasgen Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I'm not sure if she's the "shy type" (for example: people that doesn't know me usually don't think that I'm shy but deep inside I'm mortified! lol)... but personnally I too would prefer to communicate via text messages when I don't know the person that well. The reason for it is that even though I'm having a great conversation with the guy (fun, etc.), I'm always scared that there will eventually have a "blank". When you're in front of each other it's not that bad, you can laught about it, smile, etc... but on the phone it's harder to deal with... I think that if you made her laugh and if she keeps accepting your invitations it's a good sign that she's interested. Also, from my point of view, I always find it nice to get news from a guy I'm interested in no matter how much he texts or calls me. (It's another story though if I'm not interested! lol) I think it really depends on how you are doing it... Personnally, I would find it funny and sweet to receive a message such as "hey, are you going to be my date to this event or what?". Since you met online, have you spoken about what you were looking for in a relationship?
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I make fun of her and pointedly do not compliment her too much, if at all, but instead go the opposite direction. Hmm. Perhaps there's a reason you haven't heard from her. There's a fine line between complimenting somebody and gushing/fawning over them. The guy I'm dating - fuuuuuuuuuking hawt. He knows he's good looking. But he still likes to hear compliments from me. That doesn't mean I go overboard. I do tease him from time to time (I know what his one single hang-up is), but I balance it out by saying nice things, too. He responds in kind. I don't understand the point of "pointedly" not complimenting somebody. It sounds like a power-play to me. Like you're intimidated by her beauty, so you'll take her down a peg to feel okay in her presence. Gees.
lab_brat Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hmm. Perhaps there's a reason you haven't heard from her. There's a fine line between complimenting somebody and gushing/fawning over them. The guy I'm dating - fuuuuuuuuuking hawt. He knows he's good looking. But he still likes to hear compliments from me. That doesn't mean I go overboard. I do tease him from time to time (I know what his one single hang-up is), but I balance it out by saying nice things, too. He responds in kind. I don't understand the point of "pointedly" not complimenting somebody. It sounds like a power-play to me. Like you're intimidated by her beauty, so you'll take her down a peg to feel okay in her presence. Gees. I totally agree. Sooo many guys are like that and it sucks. Especially if your friends tell you you're cute, but every guy you meet is trying so hard to be 'cool' that the only guys that ever compliment you are the drunk jackasses trying to get some action. Every girl wants to feel beautiful, regardless of whether they are or not.
Author device04 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 I mean, I definitely do compliment her, I just don't fawn over her, as you said. However, maybe you're right, maybe I didn't compliment enough. I certainly don't think of it as a power play, and if I am making fun of her, it's in jest and she laughs and gives it back. I think when I said that, I just meant that I wasn't going to fall all over myself and just act like she's so great that I can't compete with that, and have her on a pedestal. Well, I guess that's part of dating and learning how to be yourself while also maintaining another's interest. I'm still hopeful she will call back but also understand that she may not.
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