UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I pose this question mainly to guys, but ofcourse girls' responses are welcome. I'm wondering if it's just me, or if everyone goes through a bit of it as well. After a break up, particularly the couple of instances where I was the one dumped, I ended up going on a rampage of hurting girls. Not intentionally, but not unintentionally. An example, after one particularly nasty breakup that left me kind of a wreck, I gave it a couple months to get myself back together- and then began rebounding on girls. I would date a girl for anywhere from a week to a month. Some would want sex on the first date and some would wait a few weeks on end. Regardless though, I never went into ANY situation with a new girl expecting it to work out. In fact I went into it pessimistically, I knew it wasn't going anywhere because I didn't want it to go anywhere- I just wanted to have fun. And when it no longer felt new and exciting, I would stop calling her and find a new girl. And these were substantially attractive girls- 8s, 9s... girls that I might have considered staying with under different circumstances. This went on for a good year almost. In short, I pretty much let the bitterness of a dead relationship turn me into a complete ******* for a while- but it worked. I got tons of play from attractive girls. Maybe because I was so carefree, maybe because they were attracted to jerks, maybe I put off a different vibe, I'm not sure. But has any other guy (or gal) been in the same situation? I'm sure everyone has rebounded in a way a couple times in their life, but like this? Also, these things didn't happen recently, I'm just reflecting on the past.
NSW768 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 i am def there. its been 5 weeks for me. at first i couldnt even talk to girls without being significantly intoxicated but now im a total *******. it seems to work, but i am in no way looking for a relationship now. before i was the nice guy kinda. now i dont give a ****
RachLIVE Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Does happen to girls too..Well it happened to me at least, someone showed interest in me, who I otherwise proably would have ignored, but I lead them on, nothing much actuallly happened between us but it doesnt stop the fact that I lead them on. When I called it off I felt like scum beacuse I realised what I was doing. Basically im just going to try not to tread on any more toes until im back to my old self...It might take longer this way but i'll feel better about myself in the long run.
ebab83 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I do it without even being dumped. If I feel down about anything I do the same kind of thing. Not intentionally at all. Maybe we all need our ego boosting for awhile? Unfair, yes? All guilty though? I'd say so. Maybe some of us just do it to a different extreme/for longer etc. I would say if the girl knows the situation she should in a way expect you to be pulled in two different directions. Wanting/needing to know that you are still a catch so to speak, but at the same time not wanting anyone or anything.
splintered thing Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Nope, never. After a breakup, I tend to have more time and attention to spend on friends, just because I generally focus a lot on my partner while in a relationship. I certainly wouldn't say that I'm any less nice post-breakup. I've never had the urge to do anything like what you'd described, but then I've also never had the opportunity either. There were a few times years ago when I'd been in a relationship and had actually had one or more people say that they'd be interested in me if I were single, but that always turned immediately into, "oh...um...never mind," as soon as I was unattached again.
JaggedRoad Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I thought I would turn into a bitter and pessimistic jackass, but nope... I'm pretty much still the same at heart.
JohnP82 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Before I was a nice guy. Then I became an ******* (Lots of Success with women). Now I'm trying to get in the middle. I still have urges to be an ******* from time to time because women sometimes don't respond to a good guy.
Zeta4PhiSius Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Well I ended up turning into an ******* myself but that didn't do jack for me when it comes to women though. Oh, well. I'm at least feeling ok after a year and have less of a desire to be an ******* but the persona still comes along from time to time.
johan Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 You guys were probably *******s all along. At least that's my impression. I don't mean it in a good way as in "wow, you're cool ******* for coming here to brag about what *******s you can be." But more as in "what a bunch of ******s."
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 It didn't turn me into a *******, but it did desensitize me a whole lot... I didn't treat guys dissrespectfully as such but I did change my perception of them. I re-evaluated some of my views on love and relationships and began to see them as a bit of a sham and as though the only real componant of them is the chemistry you experience with a stranger. I did turn a bit better. I have only slept with 1 guy outside of my break-up but sex has gone from being something I *thought* I could only do when I was in love, to just sex. I know I can have sex without feelings, or without deep feelings, which was a suprise to me (good or bad i'm not sure).
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