babyjumbojet Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 so here's the situation. i met this guy a couple months ago, and it turned out that we have a lot in common and get along really well. well, over the past month or so, he has been flirting with me a lot, going out of his way to touch or hold my hand, email me, share homemade treats that he made with me, sort of jokingly talk about going on dates with me or sending me love notes. i'm really shy, so at first, i was kind of reserved, but i flirted back a bit, and later when i was more brave, i flirted a bit more. well, earlier this week, we went over to his house and had a bit to drink (we weren't drunk though) and ended up making out (he initiated it), and i fell asleep at his place, woke up at like 5 in the morning, and he walked me home (and kissed me again when we got there). the next day, i asked him to do me a favor because i was late for school (we're grad students at the same school and teach the same class) so i asked him to open the classroom door and have the prep person wait for me to get there. which he did, and said it wasn't a big deal. he came into my class like he does every week, and we talked for a bit, nothing out of the ordinary. but then for the past couple of days, it seems like he doesn't like me anymore. i could be wrong, i don't know maybe i just don't know how to read the situation. like he would still sit next to me and talk to me, but i got a feeling like he was holding back a lot, and he wasn't flirting with me, like he used to either. the other night he was talking about going to watch a game at this bar and said i could go if i wanted to, but wasn't really gung ho about it. i ended up going, and he shared a little bit of his dinner with me, but nothing really eventful happened. he kept talking about how he was really tired and was going to go home soon, and i really felt like that was a hint saying, "i don't really want to hang out with you." but i dunno. why would he even mention he was going there if he didn't want me to go? it's not like i would've shown up on my own. if i had known that making out was going to change things so much, and that that was going to happen that night, i never would have gone over there. i don't know what to do. SHOULD i do anything? at the very least, i would like to salvage the friendship, but it kind of sucks because i really like him, and it's hard to get over someone that you see kind of a lot. i really thought he liked me. why would he change his mind like that?
Soul Bear Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Just pull back for now. Tell him YOU are busy etc etc. Play the game a little and see what his reaction is. Better you know now than to get more emotionally invested in a 1 sided relationship. To salvage the friendship do just that- be his friend, nothing more and nothing less and see if he still chases. Sometimes when the game's up we can lose interest as it becomes unbalanced. Sometimes we need to be reminded of what it is that we are in risk of losing Go get'm Tiger
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