fightinthruit Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Hello again all, Having a down morning thought id just do this little thread to get stuff of my chest! Ok In brief was in a relationship with my ex for 6 yrs my first and only love i am now 30 she 22 we had a child together, the ex left me to see if the grass is greener as she is now sleeping around ripped my child from a loving family unit and rubbed it in my face shes sleeping around, rubbed in the gory details and in graphic detail phones me and compares me in every way in detail!!!!:sick: I was very lonely before I met her and maybe in hind sight if id have had previous relationships I honestly dont think we would have got together as her intellect is very low she is very immature, very rude and can be ultra offensive with her language! The thing is after living together for over 3 1/2 yrs and being with her the other 2 1/2 I have a deep sense of lonelyness, feeling lost dont feel right with everything I do, cant concentrate on anything, not having my daughter around me leaves me feeling everything is pointless, I know it isnt but somthing SO BIG is missing! Too top it off I was applying for custody of my daughter and had a very good chance of getting her but the ex phoned the police and said i have child porn on my pc :sick: I have nothing to worry about there but am on bail till just before christmas pending enquieres! This allegation is I STRESS just an allegation But she has done this to stop me getting my daughter where she belongs! They hav took my pc banned me from using the net put me on curfew which as you can all imagine is making this healing process so much harder!! I can not express how angry I am, Ive never even slept with anyone but my ex and these allegations she has made go straight to the core of my beliefs! I have to be in at 8 pm and cant go out before 7am! I am already lost and have being diagnosed with major deppression and on meds for it! It is so hard that I never done anything wrong to my ex but she can treat me in this way! Its so hard that I lost 99% of my friends putting my all into that relationship! So hard I cant go out in the evenings when I feel most lonely! So hard not seeing my daughter! Im just SOOO alone right now and the world is attacking me from all angles! I was due to start an mcse but cant now cus of the bail conditions! I shouldnt even be posting on here, I had another user name but for the sake of not being locked up over the worst kind of lies for nothing just for breaking bulls**t bail terms iv been forced to change it! Youve all heard the saying "when it rains it pours" In my life " when it rains It S**ts down" Sorry about the longish rant im just unbelievably so down at the moment words cant describe it!!!! One thing for certain im going to be very strong when all this is over or ill crumble! Im allready drinking around 14 carlsbergs in the eveing now and smoking cannabis heavily too in the evenings as i hav nothing to do at all! I gave it all up for ages even smoking ciggarettes and now feel like im heading down a very dangerous root! I know in the long run i will get through this but only the allmighty knows how low i feel at the moment! Thanks for your time loveshackers! Ps these are only allegations but they are so devastating the only reason im on bail is because they want to check my pc! Damn this takes the p**s so much! My pc was all i had left in my life by the way and the only thing keeping me sane!
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