MrsPinapple Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Today when I went to visit my boyfriend he ended breaking up with me...About two weeks ago we had an arguement and he broke up with me. He felt that I treated him bad and worried him. Though it's not that I treat him bad because I love him so much and dont want to hurt his feelings in anyway, it's just that sometimes im a little hard on him because he's just lazy and doesnt want to do anything. Not only that but the part that pissed him off and worried him was when I walked over to his house. He doesnt live far at all, it's 13 minutes away by walking distance, soo this pissed him off because he told me that it doesnt bother him to pick me up and that I shouldn't walk by myself.....it's not even a bad neighborhood....but anways so then we got back together 3 days later and he promised me that he would never leave me and he was wrong to leave me for such a stupid thing. So for a whole week everything was perfect but then I got stuck with school work..So he knew that I wouldnt be able to see him for a few days.... Now him and my aunt have the same class (their both in college and so am I) and she has been telling me he's been having a wondering eye.....But i didnt believe her since we just got back together and it's not like him..well so I thought. So as I walked into his room I see a picture of an half naked girl on his computer and I was like hmm ok w/e he's a guy but it's not like him...then I saw the same pick on his phone....so I asked him does he even want to be in a relationship anymore and he flipped it around and said "what you dont want to be in a relationship anymore" and i said noooo what is going on with you.. And he replied "well i got back with you because I felt bad but I did love you but after a week I just stopped loving you"....wow he's not complicated at all..pfftt.....So i said to him what do you mean and he said "your just immature"..then he went "no no im sorry that was wrong of me". He then said "well you know how I was always shy back in highschool and never taked to any girls..well now the girls in college look at me and I like it..and I just dont love you anymore" ........This ******* is too busy being cought up in the moment with girls!!!! and here I am busting my ass by pouring all my love to him and never have I thought in a million years he would be this sleezy guy. He went from shy, nerdy, and sweet to a hot conceded ass but I loved him before all these other girls and gave him the attention he deserved. And thats how it ended in that stupid note....I'm depresed as hell because we're eachother's first couple. O yea and remeber when he said he would pick me up with no problem now he says that he has to drag himself to even get in his car...It's only been two weeks since we got back toether!!! He's so compicated for one moment he feels like im to clingy to him but then the next moment he's misses me feels that I dont see him enough......It really does suck since he tried to get with me for months until I said yes and this is what he does to me now...
NoneoftheAbove Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Seems like he cant make up his own mind. You need to cut all contact with him and move on with your life. it seems like you are the only one whos putting all the effort. You need to accept that people change, some change for good some for bad. So why not just let him be what he wants. You deserve much better, dont show him that you cant live without him. Cut all contacts with him msn, im, facebook etc. remove him from everything. i know its hard to do so, but you need to do this for your own sake. Best wishes.
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I am busting my ass by pouring all my love to him Some guys just can't handle that. I was like that with my last guy - I offered him the world, and he walked away so that he could chase "megababes" who will treat him like sh*t. Perhaps for a lot of guys, they not only have to have the ego boost, but they have to have a challenge as well. They want to go after girls they never thought they could have, rather than stick with the ones who will give them everything they could want. It sounds like he still has residual feelings for you, or at the very least not enough of an ego to let you go and needs you to feed his ego when he isn't scoring with the "megababes", or is feeling insecure. What to do? I guess it depends on how patient you are. I suspect it will go on like this indefinitely until you get tired of it and leave.
Author MrsPinapple Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 Thanks alot for the advice people. Even though it's the second day it's just seems to be a bad dream to me because I never expected this to happen...this really did come out of nowhere......And what sucks the most is that back in highschool he was the nerdy kid who would'nt talk to anyone and the girls would say "o he'll never have a girlfriend cause he's a loser" ...my friend said I proved them wrong because I didn't care what others thought and I feel in love with him because of his personality...but now when I think about it I didnt prove them wrong because what he did was a loser move....Since I've been with him his manly features started to come out with a nice tall dark buff body and chiseled face. Now that he bloomed I guess he doesnt need me anymore...And not only that but he is easily influenced and he has this friend that tells him to go and hang out with him to get pussy and be with girls....Plus he also got the other adivce to break up with me because his other guy friends who do nothing but play video games all day told him to just break up with me. He let a week of temptation decide to break up with me....I was the only one there for him when he his shoulder hurt and I FED and changed his bandage for him when he had his nose fixed...he was too much of a baby to do it for himself.......I want to ****ing punch his pretty face! He knows that my life at home is hard and here i'm am conforting him all the time and trying my best to be someone with a great career so I could give my furture kids the best family and home I never had. Hopefully carma will hit him where it hurts...I wouldnt know what to do if he asked me back even though I probably would say yes because I love the old him and hope for the old guy to come back out...but it's difficult because I wonder if I would be hurting myself. But for him to ask me back can only be a dream because I have a feeling it's not going to happen.
JaggedRoad Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I'm really sorry to hear about what happened between you and your ex. You really deserve better. Please try to forget him; he's not the same person you knew.
t0ri Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 ((hugs)) I'm sorry you're forced to go through this I was in the same position as you, only my ex didn't come right out and tell me he liked the new attention from girls he was getting. He liked me way before I ever even contemplated the thought of liking him. My ex was weird, dorky, a bit overweight, and not my type AT ALL when he and I got together. I fell in love with him despite his "flaws." He and I both constantly heard how I could do better than him. Well, he lost weight, I helped him better his clothing style, he became MUCH more confident, etc. He grew up and became much more handsome. We dated for over 2 years, and I loved him before and after he became more "attractive." I found him attractive all along because I loved him, yet he dumped me for good 6 months ago. We, also, were each other's first loves. We're 22. For the first year he and I dated, I'd say he was "whipped," totally all about me, put me before his friends, etc. Then the second year, the tables turned and I was the one more into him. And he dumps me. And like you, my ex was easily-influenced by friends. His friend told him to break up with me twice (for reasons I won't get into), and he did. Both times. All I can tell you is that he's assuming the grass is greener and wants to see what else is out there, now that he thinks he can get other girls. Let him test the waters. It's his loss! He's being greedy, and obviously did NOT appreciate you, or he wouldn't let you go. You deserve better than that. Let him go, and if/when he realizes that maybe the grass isn't greener, and he had something great right in front of him that he let go, you won't want him anymore.
JaggedRoad Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 *smacks head* My ex was also easily influenced by others and always sought external validation. I always told her how beautiful she was and I meant it. She always thought otherwise because she was curvy, but she was exceptionally beautiful and her curves only complimented her beauty. She lost a lot of weight lately and I'm sure more guys gave her attention as well so she decided she didn't need me as a boyfriend anymore. I don't think it was her old friends who influenced but rather new friends that she met. We were also our each other's first loves, so it was very heart breaking when she ended our relationship. I think it hurt more when she developed a god complex =/ But I'm happy that she's more confident now and she "seems" happier. I just wish I could share more memories together.
t0ri Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I'm sorry, Jagged I guess there's a downfall to being someone's first love sometimes. I feel like I was his "test" relationship. He had nothing to compare me to, which kind of sucks, because he totally took every part of me for granted. Definitely heart-shattering to be thrown out by your first love, or any love for that matter. Ya, my ex sought external validation for sure. And he found it necessary to discuss our problems with ALL of his friends. So they only heard about the fights, and never the good times. Anyway, I hope you and OP heal as quickly as possible. You'll make new memories with someone who appreciates you.
Author MrsPinapple Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Aww I'm sorry to hear that Jagged and T0ri. I kno what you mean Tori because I have helped my bf change his looks too just to make him feel more confident. I wonder how the girls who like my ex now would have ever even looked at him when we bring back his gapped tooth, unibrow, pimple and blackheads, leave his hair long and gelled, and a crooked nose......Ughhh i miss the old him so much and I wish for the weird unkempt nerd to come back to me. I always tell him that I wouldn't care if you 300 pounds or a skeleton because I loved him.....All i want to do now is text him how was your day but like what everyone has told me was to not even contact him...even though he likes other girls now I can't stop myself to not be in love with him...I would take a bullet for this *******. But I also need to think things over because what he did to me was wrong as hell..I was also wondering so I give back all the presents he gave me? Because it's killing me inside to even know all of his gifts and poem are in the house.
NoneoftheAbove Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Get rid of everything that would make you remember of him. Gifts and poems are included, everything.. its for your own good, in the road to heal.. Best wishes
t0ri Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I miss my "old" ex also, but people change, and we can't stop that. How old are you and your ex? Just curious. Ya, don't give the gifts back to him, but do get rid of them if you can't handle reminders of him laying around the house. My ex gave me gifts for Valentine's Day, a few weeks before he dumped me, and I immediately threw them away, as I felt they were meaningless since he dumped me 2 weeks after giving me them! I did keep previous gifts he had given me, cards, and pictures, but I put them in a box and out of my sight. Do what's best for you, but if you need to get rid of them, throw them out, don't give them back. And yes, NC, NC, NC! You'll definitely have urges to talk to him, see how he's doing, etc., but you won't heal unless you stick with NC.
Author MrsPinapple Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Well thank you everyone for helping me with my problem but I am gladly to say that he asked me back. He called me the next day and cried out to me saying that he loves me because I was the only one there for him. And I was able to find out the reason behind all of this out of know where break up and it was because of my aunt but he didnt use this as in excuse because I had to dig the reason why he broke up with me out of him. My aunt who finds my Bf to be the most attracktive guy ever always used to tell me that he would leave me because I wasnt good enough. And when he broke up with me she said that she wasnt surprised because I dont have my act together because im 18....She has been feeding my boyfriend lies about me being a lazy, childish, and mean girl when she has never been in my life...I can say that I've only seen her about 25 times my whole life. The reason why my boyfriend believed her was because he thought she was always there in my life and knew more which led him to think that I was this crude backstabbing person. My father has also told me that my aunt told my boyfriend the same thing shes been saying to him...and my parents and I think the reason why she did this was to hook my boyfriend up with her daughter....Well now I'm never allowed to see her because my mom is fed up with her crazy ****....and let me tell you this lady is no sweet heart because she seems nice but she'll talk right behind your back. This women has no soul and I should of told my boyfriend about her from the start...Shes almost 50 and still acts like a highschool girl. So all in all everything has been great. He took me out today and made me feel like a princess. And I didnt throw out my gifts because I had them for over a year lol. It's weird how I cant even trust my own aunt but o well. Kinda sucks though cause shes in his class....Im just so dissapointed because she made up so many lies about him always talking about girls so I could hate him....damn whore....
harmfulsweetz Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Why didn't he just say to your aunt f*** off, I love this girl? That gets me. He dumped you on the word of someone else! He chose to believe them over you, over all the things you've shown him, their words were more valuable than your actions. If my bf had an aunt or someone who did that, I'd like to think he'd have the sense to see the better of it, or think more of me than that. I wouldn't go back with him, definitely not.
Author MrsPinapple Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 He has told me this once about my aunt and told her that nothing is wrong with me etc...theres more to this story but I'm fine to work out my relationship...he asked me for forgiveness the next day right away and i'm fine with that. He doesnt talk back to my aunt because I told him not to since she has a bad anger and other problems. I know he had no excuse and I thought about it and forgave him. So thank you everyone if there was anyway for me to close this thread I would. But yea it's time for me to work things out by myself from here.
Recommended Posts