lance.dark Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I have a problem with pursuing girls. It's not a fear of rejection that holds me back like it is for most guys. It's more a fear of harassing them or forcing unwanted attention on them. This happens when I think the girl is interested in me as well. I fear rejection when I don't have a clue whether she is or not, but that is a different matter that is easier to deal with. Here is an example. At a party last weekend I ended up dancing with this girl. It was towards the end of the party and one of her friends was very, very drunk. The rest of her friends were leaving the party to help the drunk one and she wanted to go as well. Is this her way of politely telling me she is not interested or what? Reading girls is so hard and I thought I was fairly good at it but there's always that shadow of doubt. I absolutely don't want to make them feel uncomfortable by asking them to dance and so I simply stay out of it usually. It becomes more awkward because we are on the same team.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 In the scenario you mentioned, no - it does not sound like she was just brushing you off. It means nothing, IMO. Just that she wanted to help her friend.
Pedigree Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I received advice once on these forums that it's the girl who will tell you it's okay to pursue by giving you signals. The thing is, if you have trouble reading girls as you say you are, you'll have some difficulties.
MrFun Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I have a problem with pursuing girls. It's more a fear of harassing them or forcing unwanted attention on them....This happens when I think the girl is interested in me as well...I absolutely don't want to make them feel uncomfortable by asking them to dance and so I simply stay out of it usually. Huh? Girls crave attention and they're always hoping to find Mr. Right. Unless she says no, assume that she is interested. If she doesn't like you, she'll tell you or her friends will give you the hint. I mean, you should know if someone doesn't want to be around you, you know? Just keep going til she games you. Once she does that, you're good as gold. Women always assume that you want to get in their panties, just be honest about it. Many times men don't want to get with them and they like to believe it anyway, even unintentional male behaviour makes them uncomfortable. Who cares. If you're not forcing yourself (eith physically or emotionally) onto someone, it's all good. Just plough on through....
boogieboy Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 The reason you couldnt tell if she liekd you or not is because you barely talked to her. Dancing with her isnt going to complete a connection. Get off the dance floor, and get to know her. Once you talk to her for a while, if she likes you, she will make it obvious. If you try to pull off the dance floor, and she doesnt want to, then you walk away.
Author lance.dark Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 OK, well thanks for all the help. Similar thing happened this week with the same girl. We were dancing and we left. As we were leaving one of her friends reminded her about something they were doing later that night. When we got back to her room we talked for a while and then kissed for a little while and talked some more. She said she should go to her friend's and I told joked around about it with her and she stayed for a little while longer. I asked her where this is going and she said we'd just have to start and see. We kissed for a while and then she abruptly got up and said she should go to her friend's. So we left. This leaves me with a lot of questions. First, we're in college and she is a freshman, I'm a sophomore. She is the second girl I've kissed so I'm not experienced. I'd actually like to take this girl out on a date rather than just "hooking up." I would just talk to her about this but I'm not sure this is a good idea(don't want to sound obsessed or needy) and besides, she is also constantly surrounded by her friends. Does this sound like she just freaked at where she thought it was going or thought I sucked at kissing? Or did she expect us to have sex and since I made no moves she's insulted or thinks I'm not aggressive enough? I realize you probably can't really tell what is going on so I'm mostly just talking to myself but any input is welcome. Something that I definitely need help with is kissing. Any tips? It felt as though we were eating each other which I'm pretty sure is not right, at least compared to the first time with a girl who is older and more experienced. Thanks.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 LOL...I don't know many girls that are just waiting to be pounced on for sex. That doesn't sound very respectful, so I'm going to say "no," it probably was not that she was hoping to get in your pants and you were too much of a prude for her taste (unless you know more that you're not telling us). Ask her on a date. Maybe she worried that you only see her as a hook-up. Just ask her out. Approach with confidence, feeling like you have nothing to lose, and tell her you'd like to take her on a date. Have a date in mind - like dinner at a certain restaurant, or whatever. And ask her when would be a good time for her. Just do it!
Author lance.dark Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 Well I believe that she was interested from day 1 based on eye contact and how she acted the one time we talked prior to these events, but I can't be 100% sure. She does not seem like the type of girl interested in just sex.
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