jennifer8 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 We are in our 30's- my first marriage, his second. Married last August after 3 years of dating. I threw him out 2 months after the wedding due to a lot of issues (we argued constantly) that seemed to really escalate after the wedding. We were still a couple however until January - February, him asking me to come home. All of a sudden he became a real ******* and things pretty much came to a halt. We barely spoke except to hammer out a separation agreement which we finally agreed on in August. I changed my cell and home number because he was so rude and ignorant every time we spoke. He would insult me, blame me and just make me feel bad every time we spoke. I assumed he met someone but he insisted no, not even close. Said he needed to be alone!! Last week I had to pick up a cheque from him and he invites me in. I was VERY hesitant and he said please come in and have a beer with me. He wanted to be friendly - he felt bad for the way things were. I stayed for about an hour and he caught me up on his life, family, kids etc...stating "I don't know how much I should say but I saw you last week and since then cant stop thinking about you, I miss you." I didn't say too much during the visit, just let him talk mostly. When I left he hugged me hard and smelled me (he used to smell me all the time when together) A few days later I received an email thanking me for the nice visit to which I replied thanking him for being nice. I had to pick something up again and he asked me to stop by last nite after he was off work. I double parked thinking I would NOT be going in, but he insisted nicely so I did. He met me outside and offered me his arm like he used to always do. I asked him point blank - why are you being so nice to me? He said "I can try can't I?" I said "yes, but it is really catching me off guard, I am not used to you being so nice". He just looked at me and said "sorry..." Had another nice visit, played me some heartfelt music by Johnny Reid. Said it made him cry because it made him think of me. Told me I would cry for sure and if I did cry I had to give him a hug. (I didn't cry) Mostly songs about how a man loves his wife and thanking her for always being there. He told me to listen to the words. Anyway, during this visit he made a poimt of touching me whenever possible, joking with me, throwing things at me etc... and sprung a surprise "slow dance" on me. It lasted about 10 seconds and I pulled away. He played it off like he was just play dancing. When we went on the balcony he was showing me the view and made a point of putting his arm around my waist while pointing things out. During the visit again he caught me up on his work, life, friends, etc. Made a point of telling me he is pretty much a hermit and not really minding it too much. Stayed about an hour but I could tell he did not want me to leave. I said I needed to let him get some sleep and he said, no, I could stay if I wanted...(I wanted to leave though). He walked me to my car, smelled me again and I left. Any comments on why the big change of heart from dick to nice guy all of a sudden? I mean, a month ago he was asking for the divorce package so he could get things started. The only thing I can think of is he said he saw me out and since then started to really think about me and miss me. Said it had been easier to ignore and NC to avoid feelings. Told him I felt the same way I would tend to think he got dumped and is looking for attention of some sort but throughout conversations over the past 8 months he has insisted that he is single, has been single, not dated a single soul and not interested in dating anyone. I was talking about the drive-in during visit #1 and he said "oh, you must be seeing someone then?" I said no, was going with girlfriends. He is not friends with any of his exes including his ex with whom he has kids.
Author jennifer8 Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 I have to add that I mean it when I say he was mean during the past 7 months. He blamed me for everything including custody issues he was having with his ex. Said a lot of mean things, viscious, VERY very mean to me.
Lamak Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I have to add that I mean it when I say he was mean during the past 7 months. He blamed me for everything including custody issues he was having with his ex. Said a lot of mean things, viscious, VERY very mean to me.So why are you fooling with this clown? Don't get sucked in to his games.
boldjack Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Op, Why the change of heart? The only person who knows, is him. If I were you I would proceed with the divorce, as if nothing had happened. If you find that your feelings for him are returning , you can stop the procedure at any time. Be cautious, make sure that he is being square with you. Good Luck.
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