Patras Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 should I sent a congratulations card? Without going into too many details, I'll briefly preface by stating that I have been broken up with my ex for about a month and I have been going NC although the NC seems to be very mutual. We were together for 5 years and I was very much in love. Her sister will be getting married on November 1st. My ex lives with her sister so I had a pretty good relationship with her sister and her finance (once he entered the picture) over the five year span. I was present for much of the wedding planning process and was, of course, invited. Obviously, I will not be nor do I want to attend the wedding; however, it just seems like the decent thing to do is send a congratulatory card. Would this constitute breaking NC? I'm not hoping that my ex hears about the card nor do I think her sister would even tell her about it. Note: They have separate mail boxes. I know the obvious answer is that her sister is of no matter to me anymore and I should cut all ties, but it just seems to me to be the right gesture. I appreciate any opinion on the matter. Also, coming from a long time lurker, thanks guys for maintaining such a great site to help deal with such as rough time.
sb129 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I don't think it constitutes breaking NC- you aren't congratulating your ex, you are congratulating her sister who is someone you know. I definitely think its a nice gesture seeing as you were actually invited to the wedding.
Lamak Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 You stated the obvious answer in your own question, you shouldn't do anything. If you feel like you must though, send the card and go strict NC once again.
sb129 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 How is sending a card to someone who invited you to their wedding "breaking NC"? You aren't contacting the ex, you are simply RSVP-ing to a wedding invitation. Sending a card is polite.
lsb Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I dunno, I guess you feel you need to since you were close. But, I mean you were only invited because you were her sister's boyfriend...so...yeah...I dunno.
Author Patras Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 I understand both points of view. NC means that I shouldn't contact her sister since that part of my life is over and her sister is part of that. Still, NC doesn't mean I have to stop being a decent person especially since it's not like I plan on keeping lines of communication open with her sister after this card. It's a tough call and I appreciate the input but I'm having trouble seeing the negative effects of a simple congratulations.
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