Yashy Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Recently, my girlfriend of 3years walked out of our relationship, because she began liking someone else after going on a trip. I am now 30, but I've had two major heartbreaks in my life; one when I was around 21 and now this. We had a beautiful relationship and through its faults, I worked at it in order to reduce those mistakes from happening again. The passion was amazing, I would grab her and throw her around the room and kiss her. It was just a very happy and fun relationship, with understanding and giving. I am a positive person, but I just don't know if I can give like that again for a while and trust, especially when this one was an angel and she did this; making it more difficult for me to trust. Previous girlfriends weren't that great, so I kind of expected it. But this one, I never ever expected it. Anybody have any similar experiences? Did you go through quite a few relationships which at the time you thought were great, but now that you are with your partner/spouse do you look back and think 'i'm so glad my previous girl/boy and I are no longer together....I am much happier with my current partner'? Now, this was a very sweet girl. My whole family adored her. My question is this: How many heartbreaks have you gone through until you found the partner you are with or have been with for a while? It would be great to share some of your stories:). 1
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I too would like to hear some responses from this. There's a good amount of more mature folks around here somewhere, I'm sure they've got some good input.
mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Recently, my girlfriend of 3years walked out of our relationship, because she began liking someone else after going on a trip. I am now 30, but I've had two major heartbreaks in my life; one when I was around 21 and now this. We had a beautiful relationship and through its faults, I worked at it in order to reduce those mistakes from happening again. The passion was amazing, I would grab her and throw her around the room and kiss her. It was just a very happy and fun relationship, with understanding and giving. I am a positive person, but I just don't know if I can give like that again for a while and trust, especially when this one was an angel and she did this; making it more difficult for me to trust. Previous girlfriends weren't that great, so I kind of expected it. But this one, I never ever expected it. Anybody have any similar experiences? Did you go through quite a few relationships which at the time you thought were great, but now that you are with your partner/spouse do you look back and think 'i'm so glad my previous girl/boy and I are no longer together....I am much happier with my current partner'? Now, this was a very sweet girl. My whole family adored her. My question is this: How many heartbreaks have you gone through until you found the partner you are with or have been with for a while? It would be great to share some of your stories:). While you're probably several years my senior, and I'd hate to rain on this thread but you gotta ask yourself Was she so great? She just left you for another guy. What's sweet and adorable about that? She sounds like a great actress to me. Consider yourself lucky. People, not just females, in general are flakes when it comes to emotions. If she were able to just "check out" and leave you for another guy, then you probably never had her in the first place. Being scared to love again though, its understandable but make it known that you want to AVOID that. Don't hole up and hold yourself back because of some selfish broad. If you're offended by this post, my apologies, but try to look at things from a different perspective. Whoever that chick was sounds like a ....well you fill in the blank.
quankanne Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 (edited) There's a good amount of more mature folks around here somewhere, I'm sure they've got some good input. gee, thanks, kid ... let me slip in my dentures and y'all can gather 'round to hear this viejita's advice :laugh: 1. don't think that just because you've found your life partner that he or she isn't going to break your heart. I've been married nearly two decades, and as much as I think he's a great guy, mi 'sposo still can break my heart when he does thoughtless and unintentionally hurtful things. But to be honest, the heartbreak isn't so much a result of what *his* actions, but of my expectations. 2. I truly believe that every love relationship you encounter brings you that much closer to the love you're meant to have. And it's the fact that you're ABLE to love is what you must put your faith in, rather than some unrealistic image of a relationship. Because ... 3. Love grows your heart, no matter what the outcome of a relationship is; you need to focus on that, rather than wallow in the pain. That is the moral of the story, not your broken heart. The quicker you come to accept this, the richer you life becomes. Did you go through quite a few relationships which at the time you thought were great, but now that you are with your partner/spouse do you look back and think 'i'm so glad my previous girl/boy and I are no longer together....I am much happier with my current partner'? in college I met the guy I believed with all my heart was The One ... my life revolved around him, and at one point I seriously considered allowing myself to get pregnant because then I'd always have a part of him with me. well ... I got dumped for another man's wife (oh yes, he was banging her AND a couple of other chicks while we were "intimate"), and my heart was torn into a million pieces that could never be pieced together. About this time I met Mr. Q. I fell for him, but still believed that I was supposed to "be with" The One ... hell, I mooned over The One several years after me & Mr. Q married! one day I realized how dumb I was being, that the guy I was so in love with in college would never come close to making me as happy or feeling as fulfilled as the man I married has. And I thank God for giving me my imperfect husband, and not the guy I wanted back in college, because I realize that my husband *is* my love story. even the times when I want to pinch his fool head off Edited October 10, 2009 by quankanne
GiveAndTake Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I have been in 4 long term relationships before this one. All lasted between 3 and 7 years. Take all the good moments & feelings of those 4, and it wouldn't equal the good of this relationship I am in right now which is only 5 months. It seems grim when you're fresh out of a long relationship but, hang in there. The best is yet to come.
Author Yashy Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 I appreciate your responses and I completely agree with you. Yes, you grow from these situations and you do learn and become better from it; more well rounded and experienced. But what astounds me is that I'm a very introspective person, in touch with my own emotions and hers. I could see the happiness in her when we were together. It's just scary to think that after meeting someone for a few days and liking them, just because he has a bit of status that she could drop everything and walk into something new. Some of you have evidently gone through some turmoils and have gotten past it and found somebody you truly love now. That's great. It really is. I'll love again, sure. But I just find it a shame, that somebody who claimed to love you so dearly couldn't fight for longer than a few days to keep the relationship alive. That's what's amazing to me. When you're 30 like me, it's not the same as when you're 18 or 21 years old. You have a better idea of what you want, you know clearer what makes you happy and so with that clarity sadly also comes the clarity of the reality. Getting over it before, was hard but not as bad. Now, it's tougher because I have more vivid memory of our times together, the things we said to each other. That's what makes it harder to get over and makes it more difficult for me to want to give in the same way again for a while.
quankanne Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 you'll be gun-shy, no doubt about that, but at some point someone fine is gonna come along and make you forget about loving her (to paraphrase CS&N) ... and everything you'd experienced with her is going to be a launch site for an even grander experience with the new gal. The pain doesn't change, but your attitude about it can change, you know? am really sorry to hear that she dumped you for someone who had "more" ... this says she's either immature because she's swayed by material things (his status) or foolish for being lured by a bright, shiny object. There's no guarantee that she will be happy because of these things ...
boogieboy Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 As many heartbreaks as it takes. I feel nothing for anyone usually, but my best friend found (what seems to be) the best girl in the world who shyts sunshine, thats how great she is. One day Ill run into someone like her, shes out there, no matter how many heartbreaks it takes. Plus heartbreak is a lil easier after learning about NC and healing technics from this site. In the meantime, I will ordering computer parts and build myself a new computer to fill the hole in my heart.
Soul Bear Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 (edited) Boogie- ''Shyts Sunshine'' :lmao: That's a good one! ''Plus heartbreak is a lil easier after learning about NC and healing technics from this site.'' And that is very true Edited October 10, 2009 by Soul Bear
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 gee, thanks, kid ... let me slip in my dentures and y'all can gather 'round to hear this viejita's advice :laugh: HEY I wasn't calling anyone on here old lol. In fact I avoided that carefully (I thought?). Anyhow thanks for your input I'm glad to see this thread got some responses!
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 ohh ... was just funnin' with ya, rugrat K wasn't sure. I know how you *cough* older *cough* people can be sometimes. I mean mature people! Lol
aerogurl87 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Well I'm young and not married but I've had my heart broken twice. The first time I saw it coming but I just rode it out the best I could instead of going with NC (which in hindsight would've made things a whole lot easier). The second one came as a complete shock since he left me a few hours after he told me earlier that morning that I was "the one" and that he loved me, blah blah blah. Anyway on to guy numero 3, who treats me alot better than both of my exes did and I truly feel happy with him. Admittedly I'm still somewhat scared at times of opening up my heart to him because I don't want to get hurt again, but then again love is a risk and without taking that risk I know I'll never be able to maybe receive the reward of true love. Is he the one? I don't know, he could be but it's too early to tell. Therefore I'm going to take things one day at a time, and that's what I think you should do Yashy. Take things one day at a time and when the right girl comes along you'll be happy that nothing ever worked out with your exes.
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Admittedly I'm still somewhat scared at times of opening up my heart to him because I don't want to get hurt again, but then again love is a risk and without taking that risk I know I'll never be able to maybe receive the reward of true love. This is probably the hardest part of dating, especially for people who wear their heart on their sleeve. But they are the ones who turn out happy in the end because they push forward despite the fear. That by definition is courage. So yes! Keep your head up and keep things in perspective! Good things come to those who wait.
boogieboy Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Boogie- ''Shyts Sunshine'' :lmao: That's a good one! ''Plus heartbreak is a lil easier after learning about NC and healing technics from this site.'' And that is very true haha....I forgot to add that she pisses rainbows.........
Brady_to_Moss Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 It's just scary to think that after meeting someone for a few days and liking them, just because he has a bit of status that she could drop everything and walk into something new. Women get attached very fast. I see girls at college go from one guy to another like they are hotcakes. I don't get it eaither, but women do do this.
Author Yashy Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 haha..."shyts sunshine"..."pisses rainbows"...what's next?. Thanks for your stories and sharing your resonses. It's all about keeping positive and moving forward with the thought that greater things lie ahead. It is all very surreal, the girl I used to call my angel is now seeing a monobrow (literally). Funnily enough, I just got back from this amazing wedding. It's 3am London time and I'm about to hit the sack. Nite folks.
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