BCCA Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 I wanted to toss out my situation to the LSer's and see what you all thought. Many of you saw what I went through about a year ago when my ex broke it off. I was heartbroken, everyday was a struggle, and it was all I could do to continue on. Its been over a year, and while I havent started any relationships, Ive been out socially, and met people, etc. I havent been on any actual 'dates', but I havent really felt 100% ready until about 3-4 months ago, and since then I havent found a mutually interested female. Still, Im happy, I love hanging with my friends, going out on weekend, etc. and I honestly dont care when I meet the next special lady in my life. I dont think about my ex much at all, but feelings about her come and go. My issue is that even today, feeling completely over the break, the thought of her pisses me off. I dont want to talk to her ever again, have anything to do with her, or acknowledge her in any way. I have NOTHING left in my soul for that woman, period. Her father passed away earlier this year, and while I feel sorry for anyone that lost a parent, the thought of calling her never crossed my mind. I dont even care how she feels or how shes doing. Part of me thinks, well good - good riddance to her and the relationship! The other part of me wonders if its healthy to dislike someone as much as I do her, and while its not hatred, I would cross the street if she was walking toward me. Im wondering if one year isnt enough time to heal completely from 5 years together, or if the residual hurt I felt is still there. Like I said, thoughts of her are few and far between, but when they come, they arent warm/fuzzy thoughts. Thoughts?
WiseOne1 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Congrats man, I surely wish I was you, atlest you maybe 60-80% over your ex, or might be fully over your ex. Has she ever contacted you since the breakup?
Exit Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 One year isn't really that long after a 5 year relationship, I think you are doing fine.
New_Life08 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 You still have a lot of animosity, and I think that is part of the process. I was married for 14 years (with him for 19) and our divorce was final nearly 3 years ago. When he comes to get the kids, it takes everything in me to compose myself when I see his face. For me I think it is because I was fooled for many years, I was deceived on so many levels I felt like a stranger inhabited the body of this man I loved. I remember the good days and shake my head in disbelief how it can go from being so intimately close to enemies. It galls me how he thinks he can step into my home and still try to bully me. How did this happen? I just don't know. If I saw him on the street, I would avoid walking near him too. It is an odd feeling, I think when we are hurt beyond repair we resent to the same degree as we loved. That is all I can think of. I have my doubts that we will ever be more than just civil for the kid's sake. The key is to find forgiveness, but I haven't reached that point yet.
Jmina Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I'm not sure who this is from but my aunty told me when i was heartbroken that it takes about 2 years to completely heal a truly broken heart. It took me about 2 years. To really go through it all, i mean i was were you were at that stage to. You will feel different in another year. Maybe different again a year after that! For me it has been 2 1/2 years since we broke up. I heard from her a few weeks ago. You will always be growing and gaining different perspectives and healing in different ways.
EricaH329 Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 It is an odd feeling, I think when we are hurt beyond repair we resent to the same degree as we loved. Wow, that makes a lot of sense. I was wondering why I have so much hatred towards my ex also. That puts a lot of things into perspective. Great post!!
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