kittie s. Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Okay, his previous car started to go downhill, so he sold it & got a 2008 vehicle.....which is completely okay with me, because I knew he needed a better, newer car. But...since then..he's been modding his car...constantly! (modding = changing things on it, wheels, intake, etc.) And he has also picked up the somewhat expensive hobby of photography. He keeps looking for more lens or little additions. Each little purchase he makes is around $100 or $200 or $300. He's supposed to be trying to save a little money!!! He's an e-bay/craigslist guy so almost every day or so he shows me some new wheels or new lens that he's thinking about getting....(he doesn't buy something new EVERY day, but he has almost every week). I usually don't let it get to me because I know he deserves anything he buys, he's a wonderful person! But I just wish he'd stop spending so much I can't tell him that because I know I'd feel horrible, but it's just getting to me today for some reason.
TMichaels Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Okay, his previous car started to go downhill, so he sold it & got a 2008 vehicle.....which is completely okay with me, because I knew he needed a better, newer car. But...since then..he's been modding his car...constantly! (modding = changing things on it, wheels, intake, etc.) And he has also picked up the somewhat expensive hobby of photography. He keeps looking for more lens or little additions. Each little purchase he makes is around $100 or $200 or $300. He's supposed to be trying to save a little money!!! He's an e-bay/craigslist guy so almost every day or so he shows me some new wheels or new lens that he's thinking about getting....(he doesn't buy something new EVERY day, but he has almost every week). I usually don't let it get to me because I know he deserves anything he buys, he's a wonderful person! But I just wish he'd stop spending so much I can't tell him that because I know I'd feel horrible, but it's just getting to me today for some reason. And all of this relates to a long-distance relationship, how? Best, TMichaels
Author kittie s. Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 Well, let me explain. We're in a long distance relationship. We're both trying to save money for our "nest egg" so we can move together. He's been getting kinda carried away buying these things. Here I am venting. Mkay?
SophieA Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 I don't remember the stat but I know that money is one of the top 10 reasons couples split. You should ask him about it, I don't see what the big deal is about mentioning it in a nice way.
Author kittie s. Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 Yeah I guess not. Thanks for the advice.
Lucky_One Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Is the "nest egg" a dreaming sort of egg, or a reality? Have you two talked about what your income is vs your expenses and how much you should be contributing to the savings? Have you talked about what an acceptable spending allowance is for frivolous spending on a monthly basis? Sounds like you are both in the US, so if this is a reality nest egg, why not get a joint savings account that you can both access from your location, and that way the two of you can see what is actually accumulated and who is putting it in? Then you have a clearly delineated goal, and you can both see that the other person is actively participating in it according to the guidelines set up at the inception. Disclaimer: I am not sure of your background story. I would ONLY suggest a joint account if you are both of sufficient age that you are both employed in fairly stable jobs, both adamant about your commitment to this R and to this move, and have an actual timeline for this future move. Otherwise, you are asking for trouble in a break-up, with the first person with computer/bank/ATM access being able to take the other person's deposits, if they so desired. And don't count dreamy, lovestruck discussions of this move as reality - I mean REAL, frank, hardcore talks with deadlines and disclosure.
Rollercoasterr Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 You should just talk to him about it. Tell him that if he's REALLY serious about this move and your nest egg that he needs to cut the crap and start putting back some cash. Unless, of course he plans on starting a little photography business on the side for some extra cash. This is all assuming, of course, that you're pulling your equal part in the nest egg. How much have YOU put back vs. spent? If you're just as bad as he is, or not putting any back at all then I think you BOTH need to make a change. You can't whine about him doing something when you're just as bad. Again, I'm not sure of the exact situation, just giving my opinion. I opened up a bank account that's separate from my one that my paycheck goes into. This is our wedding account. My honey isn't in the US so his name can't go on it yet, but he knows my username and password so he knows exactly what goes into it vs. what's coming out. I put the money for immigration in there and paid for it out of that checking account. Virtually everything that comes out of there is wedding related, nothing else. It's important to have things like this because if you're using the same checking account things can get jumbled and you can end up spending some of what you should have been saving.
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