Would you break up with him over this?? Male and female input appreciated!

[citizen67]

This reminds me of a guy I dated once, we were in a pretty serious relationship, and I called him and told him my car broke down on the side of the highway and asked if he could pick me up - I was about 20 minutes from him. He said "Oh I would, but I just ordered chinese food."

 

My sister came and got me.

 

I stupidly stayed with the guy and he betrayed me down the line very badly.

[tfkizzle]

It sounds like you're incredibly unhappy, so yes, go ahead and break up with him.

 

I do have to agree with the other posters who think it was wrong of you to test your bf (you really can't get mad at him for not picking up on hints); and who are confused as to why you would ever expect him to come get you when he's been smoking (duh); and etc.

 

I can also understand why people might think you're dramatic (breaking up with him would be doing him a favor, etc.), but I suspect that your behavior might be just another test. In other words, I'm wondering if you call him crying, or even cry in front of him, as a test of whether or not he cares about you. It sounds like maybe the first time this happened he didn't act in a supportive and caring way, and so you keep calling him crying, hoping he'll change his behavior and finally show support.

 

It's not going to happen, I'm sorry to say, and if you keep testing him like this (assuming that's what you're doing, either consciously or subconsciously) he'll probably just label you a drama queen and dump you anyways.

[boogieboy]

If your in the practice of manipulating your BFs with tests to get any answers you want from them, as opposed to just asking them straight up, then the lack of communication will kill all of your relationships.

[BWLoca]

What happened the other time you cried in front of him? How was he mean?

[New_Life08]

I would dump him for smoking the bong! LOL. But of course if that is something you're not concerned with; just talk to him about the incident. If it happens again, just cut your losses. It seems if he is smoking a bong he is not on a healthy path anyway.

[You'reasian]

I wouldn't have very high () expectations of a pot smoker/stoned person.

 

I agree - probably a cultural/personal bias on our part though.

 

Folks in some northern European countries and central Asian countries look at soft drug use at the same light we do with tobacco - unhealthy but not a major personal defect. zilvernflinder sounds like a northern european username - but I could be wrong.

 

Either way, someone who puts smoking anything above hanging out has different priorities.

Edited October 12, 2009 by You'reasian

[9Lives]

Last night, I was at the bar, I was with my mom and her two friends. They picked me up. They were kind of hammered and driving me kind of crazy. I was a little sad because of events that happened earlier in the day work-related.

 

I went to the bathroom to call my BF (of 10 months). It was only 9 oclock, so it wasn't late at all. I was on the verge of tears. I never cry in front of him but the one time I did he was totally mean to me.

 

So, I was on the verge of tears, I called him with my wobbly crying voice and said, "I'm at the bar, I'm really sad, and I'm stranded because my car isn't here." I never asked him to pick me up, but I did mention I was stranded and my car wasn't there.

 

He started laughing, YES, LAUGHING, and said something along the lines of, "I'm smoking a bong...I'm playing video games right now. You girls have a fun time!" He continued to laugh at me and said, "Call me later if you want! Bye!"

 

Jesus tapdancing Christ, if he cared about me, don't you think he would have offered to come and get me? Or at least showed some empathy for my situation?? If the tables were turned I would be at the bar in a HEARTBEAT picking him up.

 

So now I know how he handles a situation where I'm sad, depressed, or in need of something. I would totally understand if this was like, a common thing for me, but it's not. I think I've called him like, twice in the last 10 months crying. I think he's seen me cry ONE time. He didn't handle that one well either.

 

Is he just a total dickhead and should I get rid of him? I have been tossing and turning all night wondering what I should do. Am I blowing the situation up or should I end things before I get wrapped up in something?

 

Thanks for your input, love you guys

 

<3 z

 

Edit: also, I don't know if this means anything, but my boss has told me I look really "sad" lately and always asks me what's wrong. He's been asking me this since I've started dating my bf. Maybe this means something.

 

I understand he was high but he also sound insenitive. I dated a guy like that and I did feel sad alot. But at the same time, you might be a little needy or expecting him to understand your emotional feelings and it sound like he is not that guy. He is into himself