tryagaintoday Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Ok, this may not be a popular thread. I'm interested to know how a cheater feels. If you've ever cheated / are currently cheating, and you know you're wrong. How do you feel? What about your family and friends? How are they looking at you now? Can you still look people in the eyes anymore? How do you sleep? I can tell you as the BS, I am absolutely devastated and destroyed. I put up a strong front infront of everybody but inside of me I am breaking up. I feel like I'm going crazy pretty soon.
aerogurl87 Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Ok, this may not be a popular thread. I'm interested to know how a cheater feels. If you've ever cheated / are currently cheating, and you know you're wrong. How do you feel? What about your family and friends? How are they looking at you now? Can you still look people in the eyes anymore? How do you sleep? I can tell you as the BS, I am absolutely devastated and destroyed. I put up a strong front infront of everybody but inside of me I am breaking up. I feel like I'm going crazy pretty soon. When I cheated on my ex I felt horrible, but surprisingly all my friends were all for the guy I cheated on him with. Odd yes, but true. I guess it had something to do with the fact that they could see he was a jerk and I couldn't at that time. Anyway, I couldn't sleep or eat really for like a week. All I did was cry all day and beat myself up inside.
jasonanderson Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 I'm not but the woman I'm seeing is. I try to keep her distracted and not give her too much time alone with her thoughts
Dexter Morgan Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Ok, this may not be a popular thread. I'm interested to know how a cheater feels. If you've ever cheated / are currently cheating, and you know you're wrong. How do you feel? What about your family and friends? How are they looking at you now? Can you still look people in the eyes anymore? How do you sleep? I can tell you as the BS, I am absolutely devastated and destroyed. I put up a strong front infront of everybody but inside of me I am breaking up. I feel like I'm going crazy pretty soon. i could care less how a cheater feels.....just as long as they are feeling whatever it is while on the curb.
samsungxoxo Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Well not sure if this would really be count as cheating. Way before I met my boyfriend, I dated this guy for about 2 weeks. Yes he did ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend and I said yes. Anyways found out he was a loser and about 2 days before dumping, I made-out with my friend's guy friend on the car. But hey it's not like it was a serious relationship, to me it was just dating and like so curious and anxious about what it felt like to say to a friend for the first time ''Well he asked me out, so got a boyfriend''. No I don't have any sort of bad feelings towards it whatsoever. I was just curious I guess and didn't know how dating was like that much.
harmfulsweetz Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Guilty, lost, confused, ashamed, worried,anxious, selfish. I know it's little consolation when you've been cheated on to know that often, cheaters feel awful for doing it. It won't ever make up for it. When I did, I felt all of the above things and more. I felt like I wished I could have a time machine, and rewind what I did, to a time when I didn't, and didn't feel the things I felt. I can't really describe the feeling, but I felt worse for my bf than I did for me. It was like a hole of guilt was being punctured through my chest, I couldn't eat, sleep, or think straight. I wish I'd never done it, that night still plagues me, I know I was weak. The strange thing was, the guy didn't even come close to my bf, he's was not one iota near him, I just wanted validation, attention etc. I was entirely selfish. Cheaters only feel a portion of what the betrayed spouse feels-some say. But many feel an awful lot of horrible emotions, no one wants to hurt someone, it's never easy. Living with your mistakes, your guilt, your shame can eat you alive if you let it. But I have to agree with Dexter, I deserved to be feeling all of that on the curb, I'm incredibly lucky not to be. I didn't deserve a second chance, I deserved to be kicked to the curb, and feel lowest of the low.
Jaspe_Loco Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 I feel bad sometimes. My wife was so horrible for so long yet I stayed because I thought that I could work hard enough for the both of us. I've been involved with MW over three years now and we are planning on leaving our spouses very soon. Over the last six months, my wife has worked very hard to become the wife she should have been, but it's too late for me now. I guess that's the worst part about it. She worked so hard to destroy our marriage for so many years... and she succeeded.
desertmoon Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 OP, I believe people are basically good. So a cheater, does feel bad about hurting other people....but the difference is, they are able to rationalize and justify their actions to themselves. Others just really do not believe in the "vows of marriage"and are not bound by them, even though society and religion dictate it. What you are feeling right now is normal. It would not be normal if your H cheated and your are jumping for joy or indifferent. But you do need to let it out...you do not want to let it fester inside you...do you have family and or friends you trust enough to fall apart on?
Author tryagaintoday Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Thank you everyone for your response. I'm feeling better day by day but I still need drinks and smokes to keep the dreams away. (I read that sleeping in a different direction may help.) Anyway, I'll most likely be meeting her this week or so to settle the belongings and apartment issue. During the meeting, I'm gonna be very indifferent. I'll look her in the eye and just be as natural as possible.
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