Why do some ppl (like me) fall in love at the drop of a hat

[Always Fall In Love]

This is my usual process...

 

If I'm single, I'm out hitting on everybody I find attractive, full confidence. When I find somebody that likes me back, I fall in love straight away. As soon as I sense or feel that they have feelings for me and I have feelings for them. Bang! that's it, I'm in love and they're all I think about it and I love being with them and they love being with me. Usually a relationship will develop and it will last between 18 months to 3 years and it will end for whatever reason so I do the same thing.

 

I only stay single for a very short amount of time maybe upto 1 month? I generally don't cheat and am happy being with somebody I love but my question is why do I fall in love so quick? I don't take time, I don't like being single, but I just cannot help my feelings....................once they feel me and I feel them it's all over red rover!

[LucreziaBorgia]

You fall in love so easily, because you are looking for something to fill that gaping hole in your heart and anything you see that looks like it might fit you jump on right away. Even if it doesn't fit, your mind tricks you into thinking it does... and viola - there you have it. Instant soul mate, instant love of your life, instant 'best thing that ever happened to you'.

 

It isn't a person you are falling in love with. It is your own hopes and desires to find something that will complete you that you are in love with.

 

As a friend of mine once said, "don't fall in love with love".

[Always Fall In Love]

So if I have this gaping whole in my heart that I am looking to fill, how do I stop falling in love so often so easily?

[Scottdmw]

I would think that after a three-year relationship where you are in love, it would make sense to take at least several months before dating at all. That way you have some time to make sure that you’re somewhat over the other person, and have a better chance that the next person you meet is really right for you rather than just being the first convenient person to fill the gaping hole in your heart. Just commit to yourself for several months that you aren't going to date anyone. Put your energy into your job or your interests or family or something else for a while.

 

Scott

[Chrome Barracuda]

Your too needy, you need to just be still and take things slow.

[eeyore1981]

LOL, I'm probably jaded, but I don't see the problem here. I'm thinking marriage and long-term relationships are grossly overrated.

[LucreziaBorgia]

This is going to sound incredibly glib, but you can't love with a hole heart, only a whole one.

 

Basically, you have to fill that hole before you go looking for someone. You want to share your heart, not have someone else's grafted into it. When they leave, they tear away and leave you with an even bigger one. A strong whole heart might be bruised, but one like yours (and like mine) will damn near die when it is abandoned.

 

I am forcing myself to be single for a while. No more ONS, no more FWB, no more settling for less. I (and you too) have to get together my heart and find something besides another person that will heal it over. Something, anything - even time will do the trick, if you focus your efforts on improvement and not despondency at being alone.

 

I make it sound so easy, but rarely a day goes by where I am not reminded of how lonely I am. I am hoping to get to the point where I don't feel lonely. Then, I will be able to share love, and not be hooked up to an IV of of someone else's for life support.