ashleigh422 Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 So.. the guy Im seeing.. met a year ago.. just started dating due to another R.. anyways.. we went on three dates.. date three I slept with him. He still calls/txts, etc. alot. BUT my question is this, I am ALWAYS availble for him. He works 2nd shift and gets off at 11 pm. I work first and go in 7 am. SO.. he has came over after he got off work. at 11. Also, the only time we can talk is when he gets off.. and I am ALWAYS available to talk or visit when he gets off... (at the cost of my own sleep) He has fridays and saturdays off. Here is how the convo goes: ME: You want to go on a date saturday. HIM: I would LOVE to.. and I'd love to see you before then. ME: THanks, thatis sweet but what about saturday, I have a babysitter. HIM: Of course we can go out, I just don't know what time. ME: Well.. I asked you first before anyone else bcuz I wanted to see you. If you don't want to.. tell me so i can make other plans. HIM: I do want to.. just not sure what time.. "plans" change. HIM: I could come over after work today if you want.(TONIGHT THURSDAY) AT this point I'm thinking something may be up... and start thinking.. 1130 at night? BOOTY CALL? Maybe I need to play HTG. ME: HMM... tonight probably isn't a good idea bcuz I have a date. HIM: Ohh.. okay well I wouldn't be there until 1130 anyways, ME: Don't know if Itll be over by then. N I don't want it to be ackward. HIM: It wouldn't be ackward.. trust me. THen.. subject change.. blah, blah.. my brother...etc. WTF.. HE doesmnt even care if I have a (FAKE)date. does this mean he is just not interested? I think at the point you go on a date with one person., the games are over. If you like them and visaversa, game over. BUT.. now i thnk I am wrong.. do I need to play HTG or make myself unavailable? IT seems scandelous thought. I would feel bad lyying about everthing, even simple things like what I did tonight.. even though I will FB it and I will also have to lye to all of them... HELP
Hkizzle Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Did he even stutter or pause when you said you have a date? If not then that's not a good sign. Genuine interest would spark a reaction even if the guy is trying to hide it. Of course it's hard to hear on the phone, would be easier to spot face to face.
Author ashleigh422 Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 Yes.. he did pause and then... uhh.. well said okay.. I wouldn't be able to come over until later. When I said it i said it sarcastically and It is possible he thought I was just jokin.. Eitherway.. I don't jsut wann F@#K and we are gneuinly compatible.. What should I do to get him back interested in me.. blow him off? Talk to him about if we are dating other people.. If I did this, id just say.. so im curios about how many women you are seeing besides me.. not in a mean way, just out of curiosity...
Hkizzle Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Yes.. he did pause and then... uhh.. well said okay.. I wouldn't be able to come over until later. When I said it i said it sarcastically and It is possible he thought I was just jokin.. Eitherway.. I don't jsut wann F@#K and we are gneuinly compatible.. What should I do to get him back interested in me.. blow him off? Talk to him about if we are dating other people.. If I did this, id just say.. so im curios about how many women you are seeing besides me.. not in a mean way, just out of curiosity... No need to play games. Just have your own life and don't see him every single day. Maybe every 2-3 days. If he really wanted you and you're not swamping him with attention, he'll naturally come to you. Asking him if he is dating other women is a double edged sword. Do it too soon and even if he's not dating other women, you'll make him feel like you're putting ownership on him. The key to getting someone you really want is to have the courage to lose them in the first place. Since if they were not interested anyway, there's nothing you can do. But when you're not over enamoured then you show your real value, and avoid getting hurt too much at the same time.
You'reasian Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Yes.. he did pause and then... uhh.. well said okay.. I wouldn't be able to come over until later. When I said it i said it sarcastically and It is possible he thought I was just jokin.. Eitherway.. I don't jsut wann F@#K and we are gneuinly compatible.. What should I do to get him back interested in me.. blow him off? Talk to him about if we are dating other people.. If I did this, id just say.. so im curios about how many women you are seeing besides me.. not in a mean way, just out of curiosity... No games. Find out where he is and what he wants. If a relationship isn't part of his picture, then you can chose to leave.
boogieboy Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 The reason he didnt react to you saying you have a date is because he knows your lying, or he knows not to give a reaction. You shouldnt play games like that, it will just confuse you more if he knows how to play the games. BTW if HE doesnt want to have a relationship with you, then he wont. Theres nothing you can do. You should have waited a few more dates to sleep with him..
Author ashleigh422 Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 Boogie Boy.. what was the purpose in telling me that? I asked about what to do. I already know it was too soon... but WHAT is done is DONE. I mean, there is no going back now and I just have to deal.. Thanks for all the answers you guys are teh best.
Odyssey Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Maybe it's just sex, maybe not. I think it's way too early to say how he feels. Why don't you let him make the plans for a change?
JustLooking123 Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 I agree with other posters who said to stop with the games. Also, you teach people how to treat you. If you always agree to see him at 11:30pm when he calls you earlier that day, then he will continue to contact you expecting to come over later that night. If I were you, I would get busy living my own life, and only go on pre-planned dates with him (at least for a little while). This isn't to say he has to do all the planning; you can arrange a Friday night date just as easily as he could. His interest level will become apparent soon enough.
boogieboy Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Boogie Boy.. what was the purpose in telling me that? I asked about what to do. I already know it was too soon... but WHAT is done is DONE. The purpose of telling you that was because you asked that as a question in your post. You can TRY to play hard to get, but if hes not invested in you yet, he will back off. You cant MAKE him be more interested in you. He either is or her isnt. If he wants to see you, and you want to see him, let him go over there. You dont HAVE to have sex with him. You have to take the chance that he might not be into you enough to get serious. You can wait till saturday, but if he has iit in his mind right now that you arent one to get serious with, theres nothing you can do or say to change his mind.
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