NoneoftheAbove Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Instead of sending an email to her, i thought i should unload everything here. i feel like im drowning, you know when you give everything to that one person you love in the whole world and they betray you. Seems like i can't just forget it all once. I've been showing her how much i care and i love her through out the years but this past week is been really hard mentally. i remember when i said " did i ever give you second thoughts" she replied " the only way you'd give me second thoughts is when i see you look in that girls eyes the way you look at mine and if i see you kiss her the way you kiss me". i've given or shown her in so many different ways that there is no one in my life but her.. i made her the center of my life.i look back and see how much ive put in to make this whole thing work once again. i guess ive given everything to her and never looked how this might hurt me. i didnt care about myself at all.. i feel like just running away because there is nothing much to say.. im getting stronger everyday. i tried with all i can to explain her what is wrong she is doing wrong i tried to explain why things arent working she never tried to understand me and she ll never will. instead of curing this illness i patched myself up, she opened that hole again.. i was always alone she was never there when i need it.. i always went back to her after all the lies she made me believe. but this time there is no return for me, i ll carry myself back home. it hurts so much i just want to scream from the bottom of my lungs. i finally opened my eyes she is no good for me and cant give what i need.
Arabella Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 Sounds like you and I are (were?) in a very similar situation It's so hard when you feel like you're the only one who cares, and all this care gets thrown back in your face with disinterest, lies, cruelty... I'm sorry you're going through this. I know exactly how you feel... I don't want to hijack your thread so if you're curious, read through some of my posts. Arabella
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 it really sucks.. you just feel like going far far away and just want to be all alone just yourself. where no one can hurt you.. you wish you had someone to talk to.. like that saying.. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... before i deleted her from msn she changed her msn name into something i told her.. i just want to get some ideas why she put it up there.. i told her .. i promise i ll never go.. but finally i opened my eyes.. you are not the one for me.
Arabella Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 (edited) Oh ugh. Been there... still am there. I told my ex the exact same words, too "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". I realized that I had let him take advantage of me and abuse my love & trust It may be their fault in the beginning but in the end, we are the ones allowing them to mistreat us... I also told him I would always be there for him as a friend, no matter whether we were together or not. He went NC with me when I told him I was done waiting and did not want to be with him anymore. He still kept claiming to care about me. A mere few days later when my head began to clear, I saw everything he had done to me... the lies, manipulation, disrespect, lack of care... I sent him a letter to say it was goodbye for good and I was walking away. As to what your girl did... she was doing it to manipulate you She knew it would make you think and question it. And as long as you're thinking about her and why she does things, you're not getting over her... In the end, they only care about themselves and getting the ego boost that our love is... Arabella Edited October 9, 2009 by Arabella spelling
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 its not like im wondering about that everyday.. it was just curiosity. i just wanted to get some opinions on why shed put something up on msn that i said.,but again you are right i shouldnt be questioning anything at all.
Arabella Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 In the beginning I over-analyzed every little detail of everything he had ever said or done. The fact I "suffer" from photographic memory didn't help. You're no longer with her though... and luckily for you, that means she is no longer your problem. Whatever she does or she doesn't do shouldn't concern you anymore. For your own sake. Now to follow my own advice... lol. Arabella
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 In the beginning I over-analyzed every little detail of everything he had ever said or done. The fact I "suffer" from photographic memory didn't help. You're no longer with her though... and luckily for you, that means she is no longer your problem. Whatever she does or she doesn't do shouldn't concern you anymore. For your own sake. Now to follow my own advice... lol. Arabella will follow as you said and you should too follow your advice ahah
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