Wings Of Love Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I posted just a few days ago about my ex adding me after two months of NC with absolutely no message to say why he had done so. I initiated NC of course, and he knows I want nothing more to do with him because I need to move on as he has done. It was so strange, when he first requested that I accept him as friend I was angry, I very nearly threw my laptop across the room and it scared me that it affected me so much. After a while though I calmed down and it began to amuse me that he had done it. I saw it as a plea for attention. Naturally I ignored it. But the following day I was still wondering why he'd done it and I got so confused and upset that I sat down and typed out an email, basically saying that I'd appreciate it if he left me alone. I had the email all typed out and ready to send when it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks; that is exactly what he wanted me to do. At that point I had to laugh. I'd caught myself before I made what would have been a stupid mistake. I deleted the email and went on with my day. After all, why contact him to say I don't want to speak to him? It's pointless. I wanted to share this with LS because it's all the advice I've read on here that has brought me to where I am today and I must admit I feel quite proud of myself. But I also wanted to ask, am I right in thinking he just wanted a reaction from me? I've told him countless times since he left me to stop adding me on facebook and such, but he continues to do so anyway. And why does he even want a reaction? Some have said he wants me as a safety net for his current relationship, but in his own words their relationship is perfect and nothing can split them up, so why does he need one? It all seems so pointless. Insight and opinions are appreciated!
caramel c Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I'm glad you didn't send that email to him. I cannot explain why he added you but it seems like a half *ss attempt at contact. My ex did things like that too, he started a new hotmail address and added me as a contact on msn instant messenger (he knows I use msn everyday for work). I accepted his invitation, and he signed in every day for 2 or 3 weeks just a few min but didn't say anything. I never said a word either. He stopped signing in. I don't know what's up with that either.
georgia girl Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Your exes actions are what I call "crumbs." It's a Man Sign saying, "I don't want to be with you anymore but hey, I don't think bad about you so maybe we can be friends and, um, if you want to, too, ya know, have sex every once in awhile." Ignore it. Ignore them. Real actions deserve real responses. Petty crumbs get no love. (At least, that's my not-so-humble opinion!)
caramel c Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I agree with you as far as the breadcrumbs but we never had sex in the first place for him to be after it now...lol HE broke up with me. He waited a month, then asked to be freinds while he goes to counseling and tries to resolve his anxiety disorder issue. I said no. Then the occasional breadcrumbs followed. Sorry, but no amount of calls/texts/IM invitations in the world will rebuke that action. After his last text to me I ended up texting him back telling him to leave me alone unless he meant business. I haven't heard anything since. GOOD RIDDANCE!
Beefy88 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Seems like you've taken the advice you read here in a good way. I think you've did the best thing possible. Btw, I must admit that it is very strong of you to do this all, I had the same problem with a girl once and it was a very hard break up after the point that I started answering back to her. I always say, that if someone is really in love with you. He'd go through a fire for you, atleast that's what I'd do.
NSW768 Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 u can just block him so he will never even be able to search you. (if its facebook)
Author Wings Of Love Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 u can just block him so he will never even be able to search you. (if its facebook) I've already blocked him on facebook. No, he managed to find me on netlog instead, but it's still the same thing because I told him I wanted to be left alone.
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