mercedesgirl Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I have just started seeing this guy (we have been friends for years) but in the last couple of weeks we have got much closer. He would text me all the time at first, and we met a couple of times a week. He has been out of work for the last 6 months and was lucky to start a new job just after we started seeing each other. Since he has been at work the texts have almost stopped, unless I text him first and he seems to ignore it when I ask when are we gonna get together again. He says its difficult to text at work, which I can understand, but he obviously has to travel to and from work, so why not text then or when he gets home! It always seems to be me chasing him. I dont find it easy to not text and wait for him to text me. I have text him saying that if its not what he wants to tell me. He hasnt said he doesnt want to see me, but on the other hand he hasnt said he does! Should I give him an ultimatum?
Roxanna Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 So you've only been dating this guy (are you sure he thought you were dating and he didn't think you were just hanging out as friends?) for a couple of weeks. AND he JUST started a new job....and you're concerned because he doesn't text you as much as he did when he wasn't working and had nothing to do all day and no one to impress?? First, STOP expecting him to text you (or text you back) when he's at work. Second, figure out if you two are actually dating. It sounds like maybe you're not.
Ilovecake Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Sounds like "He's just not that into you" and you're getting very fixated. I would say you need to step back, being so needy is just pushing him further away from you. Ultimatums don't work unless you actually follow through so if you chose to do that make sure you mean what you say; don't just say it to scare him.
boogieboy Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 How about YOU pull back and let him contact you? Once he sees he might lose you, THEN he will start texting you. But you have to have patience.
Author mercedesgirl Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 thanks guys, I will chill out and see what happens, watch this space
Author mercedesgirl Posted October 10, 2009 Author Posted October 10, 2009 Had a text from him yesterday saying he was busying saturday but would really, really try to sort things out for sunday. Will keep you posted
boogieboy Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Had a text from him yesterday saying he was busying saturday but would really, really try to sort things out for sunday. Will keep you posted Really really try to sort things out? Bullshyt. I would write him off as him finding another woman. I bet once you dont think about him anymore he will keep texting you the same thing every week to keep you on the hook. Screw him.
Author mercedesgirl Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Had a text from him yesterday saying he was busying saturday but would really, really try to sort things out for sunday. Will keep you posted well Im still waiting for him!!!!!! heard nothing, am I surprised? not really, but would have liked some sort of communication. Any ideas what I should do now?
Angel1111 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 well Im still waiting for him!!!!!! heard nothing, am I surprised? not really, but would have liked some sort of communication. Any ideas what I should do now? Do absolutely nothing. Do not ever let a man treat you like this. The next time he texts you, ignore him. Silence sends a very clear message to men. Go find something else to do and forget about him.
New Again Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Any ideas what I should do now? Nothing. Don't contact him. Start seeing other people.
Author mercedesgirl Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Hi, he has just txt me saying, sorry he has been busy decorating today!!!!!! do I just ignore him like you've suggested?
Roxanna Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Hi, he has just txt me saying, sorry he has been busy decorating today!!!!!! do I just ignore him like you've suggested? Ignore him. Didn't you read the poster's comment above who said he'll text you like this once in awhile to keep you on the line? IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! If he wanted to see you, he'd be making an effort to see you, not making excuses.
Roxanna Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Do absolutely nothing. Do not ever let a man treat you like this. The next time he texts you, ignore him. Silence sends a very clear message to men. Go find something else to do and forget about him. You are reading people's responses, right?
Roxanna Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Really really try to sort things out? Bullshyt. I would write him off as him finding another woman. I bet once you dont think about him anymore he will keep texting you the same thing every week to keep you on the hook. Screw him. Listen to boogieboy and Angel1111
Author mercedesgirl Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 thanks guys, Im not gonna take any more c**p from him, he's history
Angel1111 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 You are reading people's responses, right? No. I usually make it a point not to read other people's comments because my advice isn't based on what other people say. If someone else already said it, then great. She heard it twice. So what?
Angel1111 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 thanks guys, Im not gonna take any more c**p from him, he's history Way to go.
Roxanna Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) No. I usually make it a point not to read other people's comments because my advice isn't based on what other people say. If someone else already said it, then great. She heard it twice. So what? I always enjoy your advice and how articulate you are in your wording. I was referring that comment to the OP, who seemed to be ignoring the advice everyone was giving: post a question, get several of the same responses; post a question that was already answered in the previous responses and get more of the same/similar responses; post another question that was previously answered, and so on. I quoted you, emphasizing the advice you gave the OP, who subsequently posted that as a question. Edited October 11, 2009 by Roxanna
Angel1111 Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 I always enjoy your advice and how articulate you are in your wording. I was referring that comment to the OP, who seemed to be ignoring the advice everyone was giving: post a question, get several of the same responses; post a question that was already answered in the previous responses and get more of the same/similar responses; post another question that was previously answered, and so on. I quoted you, emphasizing the advice you gave the OP, who subsequently posted that as a question. Oh, I see. Thanks. Well, I think she went into slight hyper mode when he texted her the 2nd time and she needed to know for sure what we thought since he had actually texted her again.
Roxanna Posted October 11, 2009 Posted October 11, 2009 Oh, I see. Thanks. Well, I think she went into slight hyper mode when he texted her the 2nd time and she needed to know for sure what we thought since he had actually texted her again. I think I need to remember that some people need to be beaten over the head with the truth, some people get it the first time, and everything in between....and that probably most people need to learn through experience. I know I did. OP good for you, I hope you meet someone who has a mutual level of interest in you!
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