enchanted771 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 The online dating is getting scary. I was on the free sites, maybe the paid sites (like e-harmony) are better? i just want a guy that isn't a flake, or just wants one thing, and knows how to treat a woman, and is semi-attractive. Is that so much to ask???
Roxanna Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Not too much to ask....but I seriously doubt you will meet him online. Or in a bar. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. Go to the grocery story and hang out in the produce aisle. Go to the bookstore, coffee shop, local events....
Author enchanted771 Posted October 8, 2009 Author Posted October 8, 2009 I am shy though! thats why i am online in the first place.
CarbonCopy Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I tried eHarmony and it was awful. SOOO slow and the selection of guys that they gave me was horrible. Now I'm on okcupid and I like it. I recently went on a date with a really nice guy and we're going out again tomorrow! So, I wouldn't give up with online dating sites just yet. But to meet a nice guy in person... I don't know. You could try churches, maybe go to museums, etc.
gopher Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I'm one of the 'losers' from eharmony...I met the love of my life there...but than again, maybe she was willing to settle...
Yukikazi Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 eharmony worked for my friend.. she just moved in with the guy she found there...
thegreatmoose Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 The online dating is getting scary. I was on the free sites, maybe the paid sites (like e-harmony) are better? i just want a guy that isn't a flake, or just wants one thing, and knows how to treat a woman, and is semi-attractive. Is that so much to ask??? There are good and bad people online just as anywhere else. I'm a guy on one of these sites and I've never flaked on anybody. Women often get many emails, especially if you have an attractive picture up. If you do get a lot of emails, make it into a positive rather than a negative. I'd only respond to guys with pictures who write non generic and well thought out emails. Hit the delete button immediately on undesirible emails. Also, I'd not give a flake a second chance. Out of all the emails you get, you may have to delete many before you get to the good guy, but it will be well worth it.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 How do you meet a decent guy? I am shy though! thats why i am online in the first place. You have every right to be online and looking, and online is exactly the spot for shy people who can lead with their MINDS and not have to feel 'graded' on their appearance before they utter a thought. Now even though some (fine, respectable person on this site) dared to dispute this: YOUR NUMBER ONE ASSET when seeking romance online is tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! You want to keep live ones in the hopper for enough TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME to where you each have a significant INVESTMENT in one another beFORE you meet in real life. You want to know who the "pawns" are in the lives of the other, so that even you, the shy one, will KNOW what questions to ask, and KNOW the areas of his life which intrigue him, puzzle him, threaten him, or concern him for other reasons. I swear that once you are equipped with those elements OF him, gleaned from perhaps hours of online chat, evolving next to on-the-phone... then even you, the shy one, can approach first-time real-life meetings with more confidence than is your norm. That is exactly the reason why one should not rush out and meet somebody soon after discovering you each hit the same Starbucks twice a week, 15 minutes into your first online interaction. You get there and find out that you just don't have much to say to one another for not knowing the interests of the other. (which defeats the gains to be had for your online origins) (the computer is all about data and details, so why would someone rush from computer to real-life meeting armed with virtually no data and no details?)
OpenGL Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 The online dating is getting scary. I was on the free sites, maybe the paid sites (like e-harmony) are better? i just want a guy that isn't a flake, or just wants one thing, and knows how to treat a woman,[b/] You have been meeting these guys all along, the problem is you hit the delete button immediately after seeing their pics, seeing their height, or seeing their race. and is semi-attractive. There is the issue right there. Your standards are inflated so high that you are only physically attracted to guys that are likely to be players and/or jerks. Is that so much to ask??? Yes.
carhill Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 OP, IME, if you are truly shy, you'll likely do better to meet a compatible man over a similar interest IRL. You can do it online but it'll be a huge numbers game. Just look at what goes on here at LS. Who am I, really? FWIW, I was that shy guy when I was your age. You'll find similar writings from me floating around the internet from 14 years ago when I was still relatively shy and single. Meeting women online was exceedingly difficult, even back then. Meeting them over like interests IRL was much easier. TBH, most of the women I meet now and whose company I enjoy are met when I travel. Life is an adventure
Ruby Slippers Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 A girlfriend of mine told me something she heard that has really stuck with me, and has pretty much become my MO when it comes to meeting a great guy: Become the man you want to marry. That doesn't mean grow chest hair and drop your voice an octave. It means be confident, take charge of your life, get your ducks in a row, and go get 'em. When you are kicking butt, that is when you will attract a man who also kicks butt.
alphamale Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 The online dating is getting scary. I was on the free sites, maybe the paid sites (like e-harmony) are better? i just want a guy that isn't a flake, or just wants one thing, and knows how to treat a woman, and is semi-attractive. Is that so much to ask??? meetup.com
Cora Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 The online dating is getting scary. I was on the free sites, maybe the paid sites (like e-harmony) are better? i just want a guy that isn't a flake, or just wants one thing, and knows how to treat a woman, and is semi-attractive. Is that so much to ask??? No, it's not too much to ask. You will find him someday if you get out there and live life to the fullest. Maybe not worry so much about finding him, but stay busy with other things. As long as you are happy with yourself, living a full life and getting out there meeting new people, he will come to you if it's meant to be. And if it's not meant to be it wont even matter to you because you will be too busy living a full life and being happy with what you have accomplished! I wish you all the best in finding what you desire!
Author enchanted771 Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 A girlfriend of mine told me something she heard that has really stuck with me, and has pretty much become my MO when it comes to meeting a great guy: Become the man you want to marry. That doesn't mean grow chest hair and drop your voice an octave. It means be confident, take charge of your life, get your ducks in a row, and go get 'em. When you are kicking butt, that is when you will attract a man who also kicks butt. I am confident, but i probably shouldn't take s*** from anyone. I tend to give men too many chances and too tolerant.
redhighheels Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 I met my bf online and he's all I could have hoped for and more, so trust me, decent guys are out there. You just have to go through piles and piles of losers, but when you do find a hidden gem it'll all be worth it.
boogieboy Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 You could do like this woman did to me in the club...her and her friend kept looking at me and placing themselves right next to me so I would talk to them....
singlegirl Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 (edited) I think we should treat internet meet ups as interviews and be uber cautious with men, not get caught up in the whirlwind rubbish and look for the red flags....I think I got lonely and settled for some and then wondered why I got stung? keep sorting through the wheat and the chaff. I think it really is a numbers game. Don't give up ps the right man won't mind this interview ( not interrogation lol) style as he will be doing the same Edited October 9, 2009 by singlegirl ps
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 I tried eHarmony. That's where I met my xbf (we were together 6 months altogether). I can't really say anything terrible about it, but I'm not sure if I'd ever try it again. I really have nothing bad to say about online dating in general - you'll get bad apples just like IRL. But I guess having zero interest in dating makes it hard for me to come up with a suggestion. LOL Even if I were single, I really don't care about dating, so to meet "decent guys," I guess it'd have to be wherever I happen to be. My suggestion would be to get OUT there more. Get out of the house - go do things. Don't put your life on hold waiting for a guy to show up and take you out to do fun things - go do them. You never know where you could possibly run into someone.
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