Yukikazi Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 (edited) Ok so I met a girl over the summer during a week long convention and we ended up spending 4 days and 3 nights together (she left my side for about 3 hours during that time)... We seemed to get along great and had alot of things in common. All during this time I made sure she was aware we had the option of continueing this when we returned home (both in same city) or doing the "What happens in LA stays in LA" thing.. she continually reiterated she wanted to continue and during one of the final times we discussed it.. she said "you know my feelings on this" Eventually we split up and both headed home on our own.. somehow I ended up with one of her hair flattener things... So we get back and a few days go by so i called her to schedule a date... that day she calls saying she lost her keys and couldn't meet up... ok few more days go by (her midterm week) and we exchange a text or 2 about random stuff.. nothing much.. I try to set a second date but she hems and haws about it and never sets anything.. this goes on for about 4 weeks. Finally I texted her saying I would be near her school as I had other things to do and if she wanted to meet me i would be at this bookstore at this time if she wanted to meet me... she said she would meet me after class.. a little late but she did so we chatted for abit. Now I'm not sure of the exact sequence of events here but it goes about as follows.. after 30 minutes i give her, her hair thinggy.. soon after that her phone comes out.. I don't remember if she texted first or responded to a text.. but she typed in a few things... about 10 minutes later she gets a call supposedly from her roomie. She then tells me she has to go cause of a surprise exterminator visit that she has to be there for. (mind you this is on a monday after 4pm the day before a holiday). So i volenteer to walk her to the bus stop and when the bus shows up.. I give her a hug and swear i hear one of those little and much hated exhasperated sighs that girls tend to make when they are doing something they don't want to.. like getting a hug from somone they would rather not.. So after an hour or so of thinking and analyzing to myself.. I realize.. I just got date-n-dashed... This causes more thinking and I realize that ever since we got back.. she never initiated contact.. only responded to my texts. never tried to set a date for anything or even seemed interested.. so i tested that by not calling or texting.. i figure if it matters she would call or txt me.. nada.. 2 weeks.. 3.. nothing.. so i figure.. mmkay so much for that and don't bother contacting her again. Xmas.. I accidently include her on a mass Happy Holidays text.. no response... So recently I learned she's been out of town for a surgery of some sort. So my question is.. do i just continue down the current path and totally forget about her or do I try to give her a call or send her a text to say hi and see how she is (not alluding to the surgery sine I technically shouldn't know about it). Cause I am curious as to why i got dashed on.. i.e did i do something wrong or how did it go from "you know how I feel" to nada/zip/zilch... note.. this was summer 08 so its been over a year now since we last spoke.. though i have glimpsed her at a wake (she vanished before I could locate her to say hi).. and walked past her in the hall and she waved to me and I said hi as we continued on our ways. Note 2.. during the convention when we spent days together she didn't want anyone to know about us.. think she mentioned a guy she was seeing that she was going to be breaking it off with but didn't want to rock the boat before hand by having any of the mutual friends realize we were hooking up. I realize I may have just been a convention fling and I can accept that.. hell that's why i gave her the option to leave LA behind us. My main question is.. if she was intending to do the leave it in LA thing.. why lie about wanting to resume the relationship once we returned home..then go cold fish on me w/o warning or reason? Edited October 8, 2009 by Yukikazi
Exit Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I think you already have all the information you need but you are trying to find ways to convince yourself that there's still a chance. Why did she lie? Who knows. Of course I agree with you that it seems highly illogical that she would say she wanted to stay in touch if she never really had any intention of doing so. Maybe she just didn't want to hurt your feelings by calling it a fling and figured it wouldn't be that hard to lose touch with you once you left the convention. Maybe things didn't end with her other guy and they're still together. I think you need to let this one go brother, you spent a few days together and it's been over a year now... The surgery MIGHT have been an "okay" reason to contact her, but since you shouldn't even know about it, it'll probably just creep her out. It happens to the best of us. I just hung out with a new girl the other week, we had a few drinks and had a great time, said we would see each other again, I've contacted her a few times since then but she's showing no interest so I'm going to leave it alone. There's plenty of girls out there, by focusing all your energy on this one you aren't allowing anyone else to come into your life. Let it go.
DustySaltus Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 She hit you with the old "Got to meet the exterminator" line, huh? First of all, if she lost her keys it seems like she would have plenty of time to meet up. How long does it take to make a key anyway? But it was the first time you asked her out so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Second time you ask, she ignores you. Now right then and there I would've stopped. I might have even stopped after the first time and step back to see if she wants to get together. If someone really likes you, they aren't going to be shy about it. They will find you. I hate to say it but the third time seems like it was more of a pity/let's get this over with kind of thing. It sucks, but that's what it seemed like to me. I don't know why it took you almost an hour to analyze the situation after she "sighed". I mean add that to all that occured previously and I would've realized it mid-hug. Answer to your question: I think she was involved with someone and was just using you for her own benefit. She probably got back with her boyfriend or maybe someone new and decided that maybe she could keep you on the backburner a while after the conference. It was a quick little fling and that's it. I'm sorry but I think you are reading to far into it. Forget about her and in the future go into things like this with NO EXPECTATIONS so you don't get hurt. good luck.
Author Yukikazi Posted October 8, 2009 Author Posted October 8, 2009 (edited) Hmm yea I figured most answers would be of the "leave it alone" variety... So shall it remain.. left alone. @Dusty.. lol thats the weird thing.. she jumped me at the con.. I didn't make any moves on her cause I wasn't even thinking in that direction.. The 3rd time was me wanting to get rid of the damn hair thinggy of hers.. didn't wanna throw it out just in case.. I'm content with a fling.. just annoyed she ended it the way she did rather then being honest and saying "what happens in LA stays in LA" Ah well.. was just curious if anyone thought I should reinitiate.. jurys in.. verdict is negative.. buhbye gurlie... Edited October 8, 2009 by Yukikazi
BCCA Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Yuk, You know what happened. She was being selifish, and totally cheated on her bf/dude she was dating, with you. Generally, people are happy to have met someone they like, and would like others to know about it. When they want you to keep quiet about it, something's up. You also know what happened with that exterminator bit. She texted her roomie to call and say she had to go. An exterminator, really? Did you ask her what her place was infested with, except for lies? lol Thats pretty weak, but you have to take these little 'clues' and walk away. And you SHOULD know how BS 'lets keep in touch' is. If I had a penny for everytime someone said that to me, and I NEVER saw or heard from them again, I would have a swimming pool full of pennies. Its just easier than saying, have a nice life, or something along those lines. People are notoriously dishonest when they know its not going to be what you want to hear. I had a similar situation happen to me, except the girl was in Chicago and would keep in touch, saying things like 'too bad youre in CA'. Well, I just so happen to go to the Windy City for a wedding, so I hit her up to meet, and she at first, completely ignored me, then a day later gave me some BS about being sick, and when I finally did see her, she was as happy to see me as someone would be to have a root canal. And this was after her telling me all KINDS of stuff about wanting to be around me, really falling for me, etc... Long story short, people lie, a lot. Actions always give them away, though. No girl half way interested would ignore a text, or say she had to go to the exterminator lol.
Recommended Posts