DustySaltus Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I have an email that she wrote me just before I moved to her country. We had gotten into an argument a day earlier. It said the following: I didn't like the way we ended our conversation last night. I know that you're stressed at this point - and after all, the buttom line is that I'm on your side. We have the same dreams and the same interests and we mustn't forget it. I would like to be your source of energy - always, but especially in times like this. I thought about what you asked me, and in second thought I do think you should make Aliyah (become a citizen); it makes sense both financially and in other aspects as well (like the Ulpan:language class). I don't think it will hurt you in any way, and to make sure - you can also ask people you know who are familiar with this subject. I understand that the thought of moving to a foreign country for an unknown period of time with no specific deadline sounds scary. However, that's not our case. You're not necessarily moving here "forever". The thing is, that we don't know how we'll feel about the options within a year from now or even 6 months from now. For instance, I don't think Mike(brother in law) ever imagined that eventually he will be the one to put a pressure on Sivan to come back to Israel.. All the options are open, but the most important thing is that we are together. Always. We are now building our way of handling things and overcoming obstacles together, which are very important parts of every relationship. I want that to be a constructive way, and one that makes us become a source of strength to each other, because after all - everything we're doing is for the sake of us, for our relationship and for our future. I know that you need me right now, and I'm here for you. These arguments will lead us no where, whileas understanding each other's needs and supporting each other will lead us to the place we want to be in. And that's the path I'm choosing. I love you. I've driven myself crazy over the past three months that i've been back. Notice how it's the path "she" chose and not "we". It's just not healthy for me to keep rehashing things over and over. So I printed out the email and tonight I am going to burn it. As it burns I am going to let all my emotions out for the last time and I am going to turn the page once and for all. I will forget about the ring, forget about all the good and bad things and just try and move forward. I know i've been putting it off for a while now, but I need to do it already. Sure I've been on dates since I got back but I'm still not ready. I needed to realistically mourn the loss of our love. I thought maybe we could try and get things back on track. But i'm not even sure we both want that anymore. You tried to destroy me and my life after ALL I did. You write me letters like this and then you do the complete opposite. It's time to try and move forward.
Ronni_W Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Hugs, Dusty. I'm with ya The 'release ritual' that you'll be doing is an excellent idea, IMO. Wishing you the very best as you do move forward.
Author DustySaltus Posted October 8, 2009 Author Posted October 8, 2009 Hugs, Dusty. I'm with ya The 'release ritual' that you'll be doing is an excellent idea, IMO. Wishing you the very best as you do move forward. Thanks Ronni. Of course when I go through with this, she will probably call me the next day.....that's just the way it always works doesn't it? That's really the ultimate test....not picking up the phone.
Ronni_W Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Of course when I go through with this, she will probably call me the next day.....that's just the way it always works doesn't it? Ain't you speaking the truth, about that? In my case, I did a whole fancy ritual that lasted like two hours. And the VERY next day... But like you say, though, it's all about what you do once that phone rings. (I decided to just believe that it was my 'fancy ritual' wot gave me the strength to not succumb.) In any event, wishing you much success with all of it.
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