weeble78 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Hey all! Ok so when you're joined to a dating site, how many emails is the norm to exchange before meet up? Are there any dodgy signs to look out for? I've heard that some men use these for finding girls for sex - anyone any experiences they'd like to share? Good and Bad!
enchanted771 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Heck ya they do! and some of them put that they are looking for a " Long term relationship" when they are not. That is how they get you! one guy put long term and then i messaged him and he said he just got out of a relationship and looking for " fun" just be upfront.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Hey all! Ok so when you're joined to a dating site, how many emails is the norm to exchange before meet up? Are there any dodgy signs to look out for? I've heard that some men use these for finding girls for sex - anyone any experiences they'd like to share? Good and Bad! I just wrote this in response to another, similar post: You have every right to be online and looking, and online is exactly the spot for shy people who can lead with their MINDS and not have to feel 'graded' on their appearance before they utter a thought. Now even though some (fine, respectable person on this site) dared to dispute this: YOUR NUMBER ONE ASSET when seeking romance online is tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! You want to keep live ones in the hopper for enough TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME to where you each have a significant INVESTMENT in one another beFORE you meet in real life. You want to know who the "pawns" are in the lives of the other, so that even you, the shy one, will KNOW what questions to ask, and KNOW the areas of his life which intrigue him, puzzle him, threaten him, or concern him for other reasons. I swear that once you are equipped with those elements OF him, gleaned from perhaps hours of online chat, evolving next to on-the-phone... then even you, the shy one, can approach first-time real-life meetings with more confidence than is your norm. That is exactly the reason why one should not rush out and meet somebody soon after discovering you each hit the same Starbucks twice a week, 15 minutes into your first online interaction. You get there and find out that you just don't have much to say to one another for not knowing the interests of the other. (which defeats the gains to be had for your online origins) (the computer is all about data and details, so why would someone rush from computer to real-life meeting armed with virtually no data and no details?)
stepka Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Mmmm, I don't agree SOGuy. I just went out last night w/ a man that I had a huge investment in time with and writing letters for 3 months, and it was a major disappointment, and I came away feeling very hurt even though we were both about even in our disappointment. But I realized that what really hurt is that I was so looking forward to his letters every day and had built up a major fantasy (as had he), even though I tried hard to curb that. After all, I've been around the block a few times. But it really did hurt and I don't ever want to drag anything out that long again. BTW, the reason we waited was distance, so I guess I should be grateful it didn't work out anyway, b/c LDR's are hard.
stepka Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Oh, sorry weeble. I'd say that 2-3 weeks would be good--I've found that enough in the past to get to know someone well enough to have stuff to talk about, but not long enough to get major romantic fantasies going.
D-Lish Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Sometimes you'll feel like meeting right away, other times you'll want to wait. I think you just get a feel for it. Regardless, always meet in a public place the first time. When you meet in public- you'll get a feel for the person. Someone that avoids wanting to meet for an extended period of time, or someone that refuses to meet on your terms should be considered suspect.
stepka Posted October 10, 2009 Posted October 10, 2009 Oh, and guys just looking for sex will usually show their hand pretty soon by venturing sexy little remarks to see how you will react. Not always though--sometimes after you meet them and they decide they don't want to continue dating, they'll try to get some on their way out, but that's not quite the same as just looking for sex.
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