conehead Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 After 1.5 months since the breakup, all my feelings of sadness and missing him has virtually disappeared!! Which is great! HOWEVER, what I'm left with is pure anger. And I mean the stab to the chest 'that mother#%$%$' type of anger and I hope one day he comes crawling back JUST so I can tell him to F*** OFF! Anyone experience this? This is the first time an ex has wronged me in any way and so it's the first time I've felt so pissed off at an ex. He was the only ex who ever lied to me...and he did it twice! Seems like LS has alot of people who are just sad and missing their SO. I'm not sad AT ALL anymore. Just really pissed off. How do I deal with this anger? And learn to let it go? I mean I'd be working then suddenly BAM this huge anger just slams into my chest!...
JaggedRoad Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 It'll pass once you exhaust yourself, and you'll find yourself in sadness again as you try to forgive him.
anne1707 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 It's all just part of the process whilst you realise what a piece of worthless **** he was. There will come day when you realise you have not thought about him and you will then know that you really are on the way to recovery.
Author conehead Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 Also I think why I"m so pissed is because I've NEVER before after the breakup expressed this anger to him. I never told him how much he wronged me and so I feel like it's just bottled up inside of me. But I don't want to lash out at him now, because I know that it will do me zero good at this point. But how do I overcome this anger I have when I never let it out? I've expressed it to my friends, but not to my ex.
anne1707 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Don't give him the satisfaction of telling him. Write him a letter but do not send it. Just use it to vent. Months later you will find it and wonder what all the fuss was about.
JaggedRoad Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 I find screaming at the top of your lungs help quite a bit.
Arabella Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Oh yeah, that's where I am right now... At first when the relationship ended, all I did was worry that we would lose our friendship. Now I'm just plain angry and resentful :/ I did actually send him a letter a couple days ago just pouring all those feelings to him. I doubt he'll respond but I sure felt a lot better... Arabella
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I feel the same. My ex robbed me of my opportunity to answer him and question him by breaking up with me in an email. I also caught him out on so many things and never got to confront him about it. The anger was immense. Especially because for ages I was being nice to him after he broke up with me. Now I realise he was probably manipulating me. Sometimes I want to say something/write something/shout at him. But I think without me saying anything, he'll probably realise one day, what a c*** he was.
caramel c Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I never had it out with my ex either and I went through an angry phase a couple of times. I'm not angry anymore though, just sad. I think if I really let him have it, I'd regret it. He has no idea that I'm capable of making him feel like the biggest slug in the world. I'm going to keep that secret though because I don't want him to ever see that side of me. It's ugly and unladylike so what I've learned is to not put these thoughts into action. I can vent to my friends about him, but I won't do it to him because he'd probably be glad he broke up with me! Now, as it stands, I'm sure he still has respect for me and considers me a classy girl. That's how it will stay, as frustrating as it is sometimes...
Author conehead Posted October 8, 2009 Author Posted October 8, 2009 Nikki and caramel c - for what its worth, know that you are not alone. While I cared for my ex and enjoyed his companionship, one issue in our relationship was that I never truly was ever able to fall in love with him. I never told him this ofcourse ever. I've only been in love once and it was with a former ex, and so I guess I'm lucky in that while I was initially sad over the loss of that companionship I got so used to with my current ex, it dissipated rather quickly since the 'in love' feelings were never there. With my former ex however, it took a year for me to fall out of love...
JohnP82 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 Also I think why I"m so pissed is because I've NEVER before after the breakup expressed this anger to him. I never told him how much he wronged me and so I feel like it's just bottled up inside of me. But I don't want to lash out at him now, because I know that it will do me zero good at this point. But how do I overcome this anger I have when I never let it out? I've expressed it to my friends, but not to my ex. I remember reading your threads a few months ago and may have missed threads since then so forgive me if I don't understand what you mean. Didn't you decide to go from a physical relationship with him to no physical contact? How did he wrong you if he didn't want a non-physical relationship?
Author conehead Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 I remember reading your threads a few months ago and may have missed threads since then so forgive me if I don't understand what you mean. Didn't you decide to go from a physical relationship with him to no physical contact? How did he wrong you if he didn't want a non-physical relationship? He lied to me twice (that I know of at least). The first was when we weren't official yet because we were long distance and wasn't sure if a relationship was a good idea. After we gotten physical, I guess I wanted things to be more serious, so I asked him about this girl on his facebook page that seemed fishy. I pressed him to tell me if he went out with her, and he hesitantly admitted it, then I asked when and he said last Tuesday. It clicked that he had told he went out with his former roommate last Tues and I called him on it and he admitted that he lied about going out with his former roommate. He actually went out with that other girl. This girl didn't know of me either so i'm sure he lied to her about me as well. The second time was I told him to get tested for stds. He said everything came back fine then a month later he said he's got cold sores and I asked him i wonder why the std test didn't catch it and he admitted that his doc did tell him he's got hsv-1 antibodies but he didn't mention that to me. He said his tests came out positive. What really hurt me the most was that right after my uncle died was when he started treating me really poorly. It was when me and my family were in alot of pain...and I had to cancel a vacation my ex planned for us because of my uncles death. Which is apologized to my ex about. But it was like oh ok now that me and my family are having troubles instead of just being all fun, he decides he doesnt want to deal with the troubles and rather bail. That being said, I'm glad I never had sex with him. He didn't deserve it.
Author conehead Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 Oh ok, those are things to be pissed about. Yes. I did call him out on the two times he lied, and he apologized. His issue was that he always accused me of not trusting, which really pisses me off because the reality is that he does not deserve my trust. Since he lied to me! What I regret is not calling him on being a jerk right after my uncle died. What he did was so hurtful, yet he probably doesnt even realize it. Really pissed me off. I don't know if he'll ever realize it, but I hope his friends and family realize what a jerk he was to me and they tell it to his face.
Author conehead Posted October 9, 2009 Author Posted October 9, 2009 Ya know, venting on this board really makes me feel better already. hahaha.
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