Having a bad time - why am I still in shock?

[mickleb]

Hi everyone.

 

I'm pretty sure my hormones are playing a big part in my mood today but I seem to have gone back on all the progress I was really proud I had made.

 

I have been getting better and better. It's been almost 2 and a half months now, just a few days less of total NC. I've been doing really well and have surprised myself with how well I've dealt with everything, so far but I've gone a bit weird over the last couple of days and I don't like it.

 

I thought I'd really got it firmly into my head that he was gone, understood he's a commitment phobic, is useless with money and has low self-esteem. All of which I would have gladly helped him with, if it wasn't for the fact that I know he has to sort this out himself and that, clearly, he doesn't want my help. But recently I've been feeling I should check if he's okay. I feel like I've given up on him, which is ridiculous and exactly what he's done to me.

 

I think I know where this is coming from. I think I'm transitioning from anger (I was there for yonks) to forgiveness. I think. But forgiveness is SO much harder! With forgiveness, the thoughts of wanting him back have returned and I don't want the misery that brings, anymore.

 

I just still can't actually believe he's done this! It's not as if I need any more proof but my heart just won't accept he could walk away so easily (or so mentally).

 

Why do I want to hold on? Please help me to let him go. I don't want to cry about him anymore.

 

x

[GrayClouds]

Well it is just part of the process, just when you think you turn the corner, another chunk of loss starts to come off. It is kind of like when a scab start healing but all the sudden it start to itch like hell. It time for an emotion itch for you.

 

It is specially difficult with your ex because it sound like part of the relationship was built around you taking care of him and trying to make his life better. That is a hard habit to give up. It become a cross between co-dependency and a female version of "Nice Guy Syndrome".

 

When I get hit out of the blue like this the reason is the EX must be missing me. Probably not true, but it is a bit of a ego boost when you feeling bad.

[JaggedRoad]

You want to hold on because he was an important part of your life. Why don't you want to cry? There's nothing wrong with it. If anything, it helps you move on.

 

he doesn't want my help.

 

There are some things that you cannot help with as much as you wish you could. He probably wanted to your help, but he knew that he was the only one capable of doing that. What you needed to do was give him your support.

[on edge]

Sorry that you are having such a hard time. Moving past anger is really tough, so you should be proud of that accomplishment. You will get past this point too.

[Phedre]

Hi everyone.

 

I'm pretty sure my hormones are playing a big part in my mood today but I seem to have gone back on all the progress I was really proud I had made.

 

I have been getting better and better. It's been almost 2 and a half months now, just a few days less of total NC. I've been doing really well and have surprised myself with how well I've dealt with everything, so far but I've gone a bit weird over the last couple of days and I don't like it.

 

I thought I'd really got it firmly into my head that he was gone, understood he's a commitment phobic, is useless with money and has low self-esteem. All of which I would have gladly helped him with, if it wasn't for the fact that I know he has to sort this out himself and that, clearly, he doesn't want my help. But recently I've been feeling I should check if he's okay. I feel like I've given up on him, which is ridiculous and exactly what he's done to me.

 

I think I know where this is coming from. I think I'm transitioning from anger (I was there for yonks) to forgiveness. I think. But forgiveness is SO much harder! With forgiveness, the thoughts of wanting him back have returned and I don't want the misery that brings, anymore.

 

I just still can't actually believe he's done this! It's not as if I need any more proof but my heart just won't accept he could walk away so easily (or so mentally).

 

Why do I want to hold on? Please help me to let him go. I don't want to cry about him anymore.

 

x

 

Could part of problem be that when you get closer to forgiveness, you also start to feel your desire to get back with your ex increase? So you get angry instead since you know logically you don't need to get back with him? I understand about feeling like you adandoned your ex - i struggle with that still just wondering 'is he ok' because I took care of everyhing for the household. But realized, whatever, he floats, he fails, his choice, nothing to do with me anymore. And what if you could some how know how he is doing.. how would finding out he is doing well make you feel? and what if he was doing bad? Neither answer is what you want. So why even struggle to come with an answer you don't need and won't even like. You are pushing through and getting SO close to the no more tears part Mick! Just gotta help yourself power over this stumbling block. You know you can do it. You are so strong now So cry the tears, that is okay, but don't wallow or dwell, move right along.

[Taucher]

Oh dear.

 

Sorry to hear this mickleb.

 

2 and a half months is not very long I don't think. And feelings will be like a rollercoaster (only less fun) up and down and er, upside down. Thing is, you need to just go with them I guess. When you are ready to stop crying, you will. You might not even notice it straight away.

 

I am 5 months down and definitely have moved on a bit, but have periods of a couple of days where I am pretty much as sad and upset as I was near the beginning.

 

Also, I think the idea of letting go is pretty scary and I have an idea that when I feel like this, I will resist it.

 

But you ARE moving on. And you are becoming stronger. You cant be angry forever and it is hard to move on when angry because your emotions are so high.

 

I had a bit of a relapse, about 2 months ago. I could not understand why and it felt like such a backwards step. BUT, when my relapse was over, I was stronger and felt better than I did BEFORE the relapse, when I thought I was ok.

 

You will be fine. I promise.

 

T x

[mickleb]

Thanks everyone. Feeling lonely at the mo, so your responses are much appreciated.

 

This relationship turned out to be such a nightmare for me. (Sorry just a bit of context - it's bit long! Couldn't write much yesterday, as too weepy.)

 

I had lots of issues I had to deal with, so I took 5 years out of dating and did therapy and everything, and made some great changes in my life. I thought I'd just dip my toe into the romantic sphere again, as I was feeling really ready to do so, and the first guy I date is him.

 

He seemed so sorted out (apart from the fact that he'd been living back at his parents for the past 2 and a half years - said it was following relocating and a break-up. I could understand him wanting to save some cash as the credit crunch had been biting at his commision-based salary for a while, so accepted this. He's 38, I'm 37, btw.)

 

Otherwise he was just adorable and hilarious and I'd NEVER clicked like that with anyone before.

 

A week after we meet, he's laid-off. (Budgeting is something I'm great at, so this didn't bother me and I felt bad for him.)

 

He sets up his own business a few months later and works very hard at it. Whenever I the subject of his money or business comes up, though, he tends not to want to talk about it much. I don't push anything, figuring it's not my business.

 

That's about it, problem-wise. We get on amazingly, tell each other frequently how much we love each other, deal with any minor bits and bobs that come up with no fuss. We're happy.

 

He seems to be the most sorted guy I've ever met, the most stable (emotionally)..

 

Then the CP bit. We're planning a holiday, he's hinted I'm the one THAT MORNING then the panic attack. The subject of money comes up, his finances are shot to bits, he's got to go, he loves me, but he's going, gone.

 

He was then all over the place (different 'emotional guises', I shall call it) for a few snatched moments between then and exchanging our stuff.

 

He KNEW how hard it was for me to trust him and he encouraged me, gently, all the time to. Then did THIS.

 

So, the most 'sorted out' guy I had ever dated, turns out to more emotionally unstable than I ever was!

 

Well it is just part of the process, just when you think you turn the corner, another chunk of loss starts to come off. It is kind of like when a scab start healing but all the sudden it start to itch like hell. It time for an emotion itch for you.

 

It is specially difficult with your ex because it sound like part of the relationship was built around you taking care of him and trying to make his life better. That is a hard habit to give up. It become a cross between co-dependency and a female version of "Nice Guy Syndrome".

 

When I get hit out of the blue like this the reason is the EX must be missing me. Probably not true, but it is a bit of a ego boost when you feeling bad.

 

Hey GC. So, I don't really feel like I was a 'Nice Girl', as such. But I do feel like he really used me, now. I feel like he planned this, or knew his financial situation was crap and just kept it as his excuse to get out. I think this is what happened but I don't know for sure and I don't know how to feel, as a result.

 

I love your suggestion re. them missing us, at these times. How cute! I can't allow myself to believe he's missing me, though, cos I find that too hard.

 

You want to hold on because he was an important part of your life. Why don't you want to cry? There's nothing wrong with it. If anything, it helps you move on.

 

There are some things that you cannot help with as much as you wish you could. He probably wanted to your help, but he knew that he was the only one capable of doing that. What you needed to do was give him your support.

 

JE - thanks so much for simplifying it! He was a massive part of my life, so I guess it's only natural. I feel like a bit of a failure crying, at the moment. I'm so bored of it! I'm a bit bored with my situation, at present, I guess: money is veeerrry tight at the mo so I'm gonna have to tough it out and just not spend ANY on a social life for a few more months. Not being flush was fine when I was with him, cos we could just watch telly and cuddle and everything, and I miss that!

 

I only have half a handful of friends that I trust. I have been let down very badly by friends in the past and that has made me a little choosy about who I befriend, now. It's tricky to meet up with my friends, too as they are in relationships or don't live near so I'm hooking up with someone only about once every fortnight at the mo. The rest of the time it's just me and the pup.

 

When the ex dropped the crap, I did support him, as well! I wrote him a letter that I gave him when we exchanged stuff, saying 'ok, good luck, you can write to me if you wish' and he said he should write back and I said 'take your time'. He hasn't done so, yet, though and I've given up expecting him to. I do feel he should have, though..

 

Sorry that you are having such a hard time. Moving past anger is really tough, so you should be proud of that accomplishment. You will get past this point too.

 

Thanks OE. I'm not entirely sure I am through it, yet! I guess I'm maybe limping away from the middle of it but it still helps me get through the day, when I it need to! I guess I know this is just ANOTHER phase (within a phase, within a phase..) I'm hoping I'll be a lot brighter soon. x

 

Could part of problem be that when you get closer to forgiveness, you also start to feel your desire to get back with your ex increase? So you get angry instead since you know logically you don't need to get back with him?

 

Phedre - thanks for your detailed response. I can't bear to think about him as a human being! Because I know he looks like the man I knew, sounds like him, moves like him but ISN'T him! I don't feel I can do forgiveness because I don't know the person I'm trying to forgive! Does that make sense? If I try to forgive him, I just think of the guy I knew and I loved that man, so much, so I just get swept back there.

 

I understand about feeling like you adandoned your ex - i struggle with that still just wondering 'is he ok' because I took care of everyhing for the household. But realized, whatever, he floats, he fails, his choice, nothing to do with me anymore. And what if you could some how know how he is doing.. how would finding out he is doing well make you feel? and what if he was doing bad? Neither answer is what you want. So why even struggle to come with an answer you don't need and won't even like. You are pushing through and getting SO close to the no more tears part Mick! Just gotta help yourself power over this stumbling block. You know you can do it. You are so strong now So cry the tears, that is okay, but don't wallow or dwell, move right along.

 

Um... my strategy in life is to presume the worst, or prepare for the worst (usually - I trusted I didn't need to do that with him, then he KILLS me!) so I'm presuming he's just hunkyfkndory. I would be least surprised if he was. I think denial is his favourite thing and he's just slipped into that and toddled off to his life again.

 

If he wasn't doing ok, it would kill me (again)! That's the worst possible scenario for me, cos then the compulsion to help him and want him back would be terrible. He would still be the same man I loved if he weren't doing well. And the man I loved did this terrible thing to me, us so I couldn't bear that confusion. Or further heartbreak.

 

I doubt I will try to find out, although the other day I toyed with the idea. I'm afraid we are 'bound' with one of those business things and there will need to be some contact in February, to deal with it, although this can be done in a business-like way.

 

In conclusion, I am nowhere near forgiveness! I'm going straight back to anger because I was ok there, and I can only hope I don't care one day and then, realise it's done - I've accepted, learnt, forgiven, everything but I was so wrapped up in *me* that I didn't notice. It's just that day seems so far away because I am a bit 'stuck' (almost literally, to this sofa) with my options for my own life, at the moment.

 

I don't know. I'll figure something out. I always have and I always will. (I'm, secretly, quite brilliant like that!)

 

I'm glad I can afford the internet connection, at least! F**k, where would I be without THAT?! *Shudders* x

[mickleb]

Oh dear.

 

Sorry to hear this mickleb.

 

2 and a half months is not very long I don't think. And feelings will be like a rollercoaster (only less fun) up and down and er, upside down. Thing is, you need to just go with them I guess. When you are ready to stop crying, you will. You might not even notice it straight away.

 

I am 5 months down and definitely have moved on a bit, but have periods of a couple of days where I am pretty much as sad and upset as I was near the beginning.

 

Also, I think the idea of letting go is pretty scary and I have an idea that when I feel like this, I will resist it.

 

But you ARE moving on. And you are becoming stronger. You cant be angry forever and it is hard to move on when angry because your emotions are so high.

 

I had a bit of a relapse, about 2 months ago. I could not understand why and it felt like such a backwards step. BUT, when my relapse was over, I was stronger and felt better than I did BEFORE the relapse, when I thought I was ok.

 

You will be fine. I promise.

 

T x

 

Cheers Tauch. (MY GOD - did it really take me an hour and a half to write the last post?! I did get a phone call, halfway through, in my defence!)

 

I think a lot of it is about feeling I SHOULD let go. He damn well hurt me and had no right! So why can't I just tell him to f*ck off and that's that???!!! I guess it's because of this stupid big heart of mine, that is full of empathy for anyone who is suffering (except me, sometimes!)

 

Oh, I hope I'll feel super-strong, soon! I think you have sounded a lot stronger recently, though, so I know this makes sense and everything's gonna be.. oh, I musn't!

 

Ta, T. It's nearly Friday, though, isn't it? So that's enough to be happy about for a start. x

[Tamia78]

Mickelb,

 

I identified with this post so much! Your ex sounds alot like mine. I'm one of those girls that tend to want to "fix" things. He wasn't financially stable, and I think he resented me because I was. I tried to talk about finances with him to help him, and he just closed up.

 

It's very hard to let go, in a situation like yours, I think, because you feel kinda responsible for him. You wanted to help. That's just the type of person you are.

 

You sound like a very strong woman, and it sounds like your well on your way to getting over him. It WILL get better! It has to!

 

--T

[mickleb]

Mickelb,

 

I identified with this post so much! Your ex sounds alot like mine. I'm one of those girls that tend to want to "fix" things. He wasn't financially stable, and I think he resented me because I was. I tried to talk about finances with him to help him, and he just closed up.

 

It's very hard to let go, in a situation like yours, I think, because you feel kinda responsible for him. You wanted to help. That's just the type of person you are.

 

You sound like a very strong woman, and it sounds like your well on your way to getting over him. It WILL get better! It has to!

 

--T

 

Thanks, Tamia. It's nice to hear I sound strong, when I'm not really feeling it!

 

I know my Continuous Daily Headache is getting me down, too. (Well, it would, wouldn't it?) But I also know it's a problem for me, this trying to help my partners out, thing. Has it been the same way for you? Is your ex the only one you've tried to help?

 

As I was saying, above, this one stings so badly because, if anything, during the relationship, he was the one that helped me. I have a very rewarding but stressful job and he would always listen to me and make me feel better.

 

I think he was happy when he was able to do this for me and then, being the person he is, felt ashamed he couldn't 'give me what I wanted' - which I guess, was some kind of commitment from him. I didn't NEED this but, yeah, I would have LIKED it! I think my feelings for him are confused because his leaving me was both a generous thing for him to do and a selfish thing.

 

He 'set me free' to some extent because he wants me to find happiness and someone who can give me what I need but, he is too proud to accept help from anyone and too selfish to swallow his pride and really put the work into us.

 

I may have the picture wrong but I think, if I'm going on what he told me and what I know of him, this is it. (Rather than above, where I'm going on what my cynicism has decided.)

 

Bottom line is, I / we can't help him or control this situation. The only thing I / we can do is control our lives, as best possible. Dull though, innit? I don't want to be someone who is addicted to the drama of this but I do think it's a pretty heartbreaking scenario.

 

I guess he made it that way, though, so I should try to let that be HIS problem.

 

Thanks to everyone who has read this and helped. I hope we can all get what we deserve. x

[Tamia78]

But I also know it's a problem for me, this trying to help my partners out, thing. Has it been the same way for you? Is your ex the only one you've tried to help?

 

As I was saying, above, this one stings so badly because, if anything, during the relationship, he was the one that helped me. I have a very rewarding but stressful job and he would always listen to me and make me feel better.

 

Actually no, he's not the only ex I've tried to help. I think it's called a "saviour complex". I seem to be attracted to guys who may not be financially or emotionally stable because I want to "fix" them. Like your ex, mine was living with his parents following a "bad break up" (so he said). I've come to realize that is NOT healthy (the saviour complex, not living with your parents ). I'm not sure if that's what draws you to men or not, but reading through your last post, you did exactly what I did. You didn't blame him. #1, that makes you even more good-hearted that you can take responsibility for your shortcomings, but it does take two to tango, as they say.

 

It's wonderful that he listened to you when you had a stressful day. But it takes more than that to make a relationship last, as you know. The day that he left, you said he hinted that you were THE ONE. So........why'd he leave? I'm curious, was he very controlling? Not in a bad way, just one of those people who always had to have his way?

 

Anyways, maybe you need to acknowledge that he was in the wrong--there is a little room for for his selfishness in a relationship, but not much. You are not the only one, don't hand him too many excuses for his behavior. Maybe one day he'll realize that he lost the best thing that's ever happened to him, but I have a feeling that you will have definitely moved on by then.

 

Cheers,

--T

[Taucher]

Cheers Tauch. (MY GOD - did it really take me an hour and a half to write the last post?! I did get a phone call, halfway through, in my defence!)

 

I think a lot of it is about feeling I SHOULD let go. He damn well hurt me and had no right! So why can't I just tell him to f*ck off and that's that???!!! I guess it's because of this stupid big heart of mine, that is full of empathy for anyone who is suffering (except me, sometimes!)

 

Oh, I hope I'll feel super-strong, soon! I think you have sounded a lot stronger recently, though, so I know this makes sense and everything's gonna be.. oh, I musn't!

 

Ta, T. It's nearly Friday, though, isn't it? So that's enough to be happy about for a start. x

 

Well, if you feel you should let him go but cant do it I guess it's because you are viewing your emotions objectively, which is what I try to do. The downside with this is that sometimes you can feel angry with yourself for not doing what you THINK you know to be the right thing. Or something. I suppose you should forget about thinking about what you should be feeling and concentrating on how you actually ARE feeling. And work on changing how you feel by doing things that make you feel happy, or at least, less sad.

 

I'm not sure any of that made sense.

 

I don't feel particularly stronger, but thanks anyway. I feel more resigned to the situation I guess. I want her back as much as ever but feel that we have gone past the point of time where that is a possibility. And with the death of hope comes realism and then an awareness that verything IS gonna be alright (sorry to mention THAT again!) But then, tomorrow I might be a desperate, gibbering wreck of a shell of a man again. Who knows.

[mickleb]

Will reply. Promise. Too tired now. Sleep tight, y'all. x

[Soul Bear]

The trick is to start seeing yourself as a prize. Only the best will be able to entice you. That goes for your ex too. If he wants any place in your life he will have to work damn hard. After a while you won't even care anymore

[mickleb]

Hey y'all.

 

Tam: I don't like the sound of that saviour complex business. I hope I channel this into my work. It has no place in a romantic relationship. I think I have been strong in letting him go, I suppose. I have fought this urge to help him, no matter what. I do know people have to do this for themselves.

 

In the last month or so, he did get really jumpy about little decisions that were made. I would suggest doing things another way, if it occurred to me that there were other options, and he would get really defensive. It bugged me a little bit but I didn't dwell on it...hmmn.

 

You're right that listening to someone's bad day isn't enough. I CANNOT believe how much I trusted him. He just did such a good job of persuading me that running off without warning would be the LAST thing he would ever do.

 

I hate him for that. Can't help it. It's just wrong to make someone feel that safe (when you know they've been let down enough in the past) then drop them from a height.

 

Tauch: I found your post very helpful. I remember feeling stronger than this and thinking - oh! they were right, I just do this and this and it gets better! And getting on with it. Then I started thinking I'd plateaued, then found myself going down again and then I felt bloody stupid. I felt like I'd been dishing out this advice (to other people) and had no right to. I know my feelings are directly linked to my headaches, too. I have expected these to ease off for about three weeks now and they've just hung about, to the point where they have, quite simply, broken me. I have started taking a higher dose of the tablets I take daily (it's ok - the doc told me to). The dosage hasn't worked yet. Head is worse if anything but they should help soon (if not, I'll go back). I don't like this bit, though. Everything looks like a grey sea that stretches out for months on end. Things can only get better? (That's a chronically bad 90's anthem I WONT be downloading anytime soon..) I hope you're not a gibbering wreck ever again. x

 

Soulb - Thank you for your encouragement. I like your little trick! I worried about turning into one of those narcissist types if I took this on board but I don't think I've got it in me! I (sadly but HONESTLY) don't feel much like a prize at the moment. I feel like crap. And I feel like a lonely arse. And a skint one. I am brilliant at my job and a very loving dog-owner (!) and I can now drive a car and my friends know I'm a laugh and am decent and my family think I'm kind (although they don't really know me very well) and I can budget well and I am a survivor and am very artistic and pretty smart and pretty decent-looking and have excellent taste.. (sorry - I needed that!) but, I feel like a little whale that got lost up the Thames! Boo. Rah. Bleurgh.

 

It WILL pass, all this, won't it??!! Bless yous all. xxxx

[Turista]

Hey y'all.

 

Tam: I don't like the sound of that saviour complex business. I hope I channel this into my work. It has no place in a romantic relationship. I think I have been strong in letting him go, I suppose. I have fought this urge to help him, no matter what. I do know people have to do this for themselves.

 

In the last month or so, he did get really jumpy about little decisions that were made. I would suggest doing things another way, if it occurred to me that there were other options, and he would get really defensive. It bugged me a little bit but I didn't dwell on it...hmmn.

 

You're right that listening to someone's bad day isn't enough. I CANNOT believe how much I trusted him. He just did such a good job of persuading me that running off without warning would be the LAST thing he would ever do.

 

I hate him for that. Can't help it. It's just wrong to make someone feel that safe (when you know they've been let down enough in the past) then drop them from a height.

 

Tauch: I found your post very helpful. I remember feeling stronger than this and thinking - oh! they were right, I just do this and this and it gets better! And getting on with it. Then I started thinking I'd plateaued, then found myself going down again and then I felt bloody stupid. I felt like I'd been dishing out this advice (to other people) and had no right to. I know my feelings are directly linked to my headaches, too. I have expected these to ease off for about three weeks now and they've just hung about, to the point where they have, quite simply, broken me. I have started taking a higher dose of the tablets I take daily (it's ok - the doc told me to). The dosage hasn't worked yet. Head is worse if anything but they should help soon (if not, I'll go back). I don't like this bit, though. Everything looks like a grey sea that stretches out for months on end. Things can only get better? (That's a chronically bad 90's anthem I WONT be downloading anytime soon..) I hope you're not a gibbering wreck ever again. x

 

Soulb - Thank you for your encouragement. I like your little trick! I worried about turning into one of those narcissist types if I took this on board but I don't think I've got it in me! I (sadly but HONESTLY) don't feel much like a prize at the moment. I feel like crap. And I feel like a lonely arse. And a skint one. I am brilliant at my job and a very loving dog-owner (!) and I can now drive a car and my friends know I'm a laugh and am decent and my family think I'm kind (although they don't really know me very well) and I can budget well and I am a survivor and am very artistic and pretty smart and pretty decent-looking and have excellent taste.. (sorry - I needed that!) but, I feel like a little whale that got lost up the Thames! Boo. Rah. Bleurgh.

 

It WILL pass, all this, won't it??!! Bless yous all. xxxx

 

If you have empathy such that when you do something wrong, you genuinely feel and more importantly let yourself feel bad about it until you set things right, I don't think you have any reason to worry about becoming a narcissist...

 

Self-confident != narcissistic

 

I say this because I dated a mostly soulless narcissist for a year. Her lack of empathy interfered with every aspect of her life, job, family, friends, and not just our cruddy relationship, and her only fix for every problem was to flash her jumbo C cup foobies...

 

As you might imagine, that only worked in situations where one would expect jumbo C cup foobies to do the trick (which is a surprising number of them alas) as they are no panacea.

 

Self-confident == sexy

narcissistic == nauseating

 

So take stock of yourself and whatever you do, don't settle!

[Taucher]

 

Tauch: I found your post very helpful. I remember feeling stronger than this and thinking - oh! they were right, I just do this and this and it gets better! And getting on with it. Then I started thinking I'd plateaued, then found myself going down again and then I felt bloody stupid. I felt like I'd been dishing out this advice (to other people) and had no right to. I know my feelings are directly linked to my headaches, too. I have expected these to ease off for about three weeks now and they've just hung about, to the point where they have, quite simply, broken me. I have started taking a higher dose of the tablets I take daily (it's ok - the doc told me to). The dosage hasn't worked yet. Head is worse if anything but they should help soon (if not, I'll go back). I don't like this bit, though. Everything looks like a grey sea that stretches out for months on end. Things can only get better? (That's a chronically bad 90's anthem I WONT be downloading anytime soon..) I hope you're not a gibbering wreck ever again. x

 

 

Ah, migraines are debilitating. But kinda common I guess. I know what you mean about a gray sea. Where's the fun? It is coming. It will get better and I believe that. It will get better for both of us, and everyone on LS. People dont stay on LS, they use it for as long as necessary. It's a temporary thing. And thats good, cos it shows that how we feel is only temporary.

 

Also, you are good at advising people because you are living it so you know what you are talking about. And advising people on here kind of clarifies how you are feeling and makes you look at yourself objectively.

 

Don't forget (and I am paraphrasing here) you can move move move any mountain. ANY mountain. I never forget that and nor should you.

 

Tx

[mickleb]

Turista - 'cruddy' and 'foobies' made my day, yesterday! If you're giving me permission to go on another 'I'm quite alright in this department, and this one too!' sidetrack, then fookin' cheers! (But watch out, I may have to one day..)

 

Tauch - Thank you. I like your common sense. And then that anthemic 'move a mountain' imagery! Yer need 'em both, to get through this life, eh?

 

Headache a bit better. Soul a bit low but I think it's okay. I'm still saying goodbye, that's all. The process is: happy memory - is he really commitment phobic? - yes he is - oh, that makes the spoils that, then - repeat as necessary.

 

I want to say 'simples' but I also don't want to. x