tucker08 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 I read a lot of posts on here saying any guy that says he loves you but doesn't want to be with you is just pulling you on a string..But somehow I think this is different. My ex boyfriend lives in a different city where he goes to school and plays hockey. He is serious in his hockey career and is actually trying to get to the top so it keeps him busy. We recently broke up because of the distance really, because for the 4 months he was home we were so happy together but it just got too hard when he was away to maintain a good relationship. He stayed the night at my house the other night and I have literally never seen him or any guy cry so hard or much in my entire life. He said he couldn't even look at me because it hurts him too much and thats the only way he can be away from me is if he literally is away. he said I have been the only girl he has ever liked in his whole life and that I am someone he will always love and always have loved no matter what. He made it very clear when we broke up he didn't want it to be like the last time he left where we never talked and felt some bad feelings towards one another, he wants it to be mature and to keep in some degree of contact and that when he gets back we can hang out again and that I will see him, he also threw out the invite that any time I wanted to go see him or one of his games he would like that a lot... Any chance that this is some sort of exception and that he really is looking out for our best interests right now? I forgot to add that we were together for a year and a half before the first breakup, where we were apart from september til june, but got back together after realising we still loved eachother
TMichaels Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 (edited) Tucker08, Sounds to me like your guy is trying to be honest with you. He's got a lot going on in his life, and in many ways, he only has one shot at being the best he can be in college and as a member of his school's hockey team. But, at the same time, it sounds like you are special to him and there's no way at the moment he can be in two places at once, and that's breaking his heart. Were there any other "conditions" of your break-up besides the fact that he'd like to still stay in touch while he's away and get together again when he's back home ? By that I mean, did he say he wanted you or wanted himself to date other people? Was this issue even brought up? Or, was it just understood by you two that you were free to go on your merry way, socially -- or that you wouldn't at all? The reason I ask is because I think if he told you he wanted to see other people or that you should, then you would have a better indication if he's just stringing you along. Is there any reason why you can't go and see him play just one game? I'm betting he would be over the moon that you made the effort. Players always get tickets allotted for friends or family members to see them play, so I'm sure that would be no problem. Just let him know in advance and he will have the ticket waiting at the Will Call window for you. If you went, in a way it would be an opportunity for you to see first-hand why hockey and school is so important to him, and also a way to demonstrate that you do care for him and want to keep the relationship going in the interim. And, I'm betting he would be proud as punch to be able to show you off as his special girl back home. Even if you don't go, why not take a chance, stay in touch and see where things lead? What have you got to lose? Or, are you up against some sort of deadline or timeline that makes this impossible? Hope not, 'cause this guy sounds like he may be "a keeper" to me. HTH, TMichaels Edited October 13, 2009 by TMichaels
Author tucker08 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Thank you for the reply, well this is the thing now. Its been two weeks and we have talked here and there for a couple minutes most days just via text. It is weird though, sometimes I get flashes of him honestly being interested in what im doing. And sometimes it seams very impersonal when we talk like he is trying to be that way. He asked me a few days ago if I will be playing (basketball) at all in Saint John (where he is) He said if I did to let him know and he would drop by or something. As for us seeing other people, he made it clear that is not what he is doing this for, he has no interest right now in another girl but it is not set in stone we will get back together, I mean, I don't plan on waiting for him necessarily but I also don't plan on looking for anything else either. He told me he knew he couldn't make me wait for him that that wasnt fair to me, but he did mention that if he did ever find out I was with someone else it would hurt him a lot. The night he stayed at my house while I was not in the room he was talking to one of my girl friends, she told me a couple days later what he said to her was along the lines of this. Its not that I don't want to be with her, Its that I can't have a girlfriend right now , that he doesnt think he can give the effort thats needed to maintain this. She said he said he still loves me and always will but he just doesn't think it will work. She mentioned to him that I was upset and crying a little bit at work the day after we broke up and she said his reaction was to get teary eyed and he said "dont tell me that" and like covered his face type thing.. That same night one of his good friends approached me and was saying like don't worry he loves you you guys will get back together someday. But I am not sure if thats just his opinion or if he was told to tell me that, it was coincidental because it almost seemed planned that while we talked in one room my friend and ex talked in the other about the same things.. It's all just hard for me to read. From what I know of him he is a very honest person, and because we have spent a year apart before not even on good terms and still gotten back together, it gives me hope. But its just hard to wrap my head around him "loving me" but not wanting to really spend time talking to me. It was never set in stone at all that we would get back together he never said that, all he said is that he would still like to hang out once he gets back and keep on good terms...The thing with him though is that he can act like he isn't that interested when he is away, but the tables turn when he is back and he has a really hard time having anything but a romantic relationship with me..Just so much to try to read! Like living in a soap opera
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