midawg Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) We have all be here. One minute you are on a great date ... and then ... "poof" the person disappears, never to be heard from again. I'd like to hear from people who poof and why they do it? Is it so hard to send a text/e-mail or a phone call. Maybe the date was so bad you don't feel they deserve it. Just curious. Edited October 8, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Chicago_Guy Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Are you referring to men who do this? Men don't start out this way, but after having enough women do the same thing to them they caring about what the woman thinks when they break off contact.
scubagirl72 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Think it's about not wanting to hurt someone's feelings... Hard to face someone and tell them you're not interested in them.
carhill Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Well, for those who aren't too 'afraid' to feed their egos but too afraid to put some face time to their rejection of someone, there's always text and e-mail. Takes 10 seconds to type 'see ya' on a really slow fingered day. OP, just view these poof people as bearers of gifts. The gifts of their silence. Oh, what a gift it is for their existence to go away
phineas Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Think it's about not wanting to hurt someone's feelings... Hard to face someone and tell them you're not interested in them. I honestly have never had a problem telling someone I didn't think they were right for me. I've gotton the poof many times. I don't make contact after a poof. The thing that boggles my mind is when they poof then out of the blue contact you to say "hi" & act like they didn't blow you off.
alphamale Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 its easier to "poof" than give someone some lame excuse or be honest with them about why you don't want to see them again. no one wants to hear to their face that their nose is too big or that you don't like their laugh or that they are a boring nerd
bluewolf17 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 its easier to "poof" than give someone some lame excuse or be honest with them about why you don't want to see them again. no one wants to hear to their face that their nose is too big or that you don't like their laugh or that they are a boring nerd Ha! Agreed. Both parties are better off "poofing". Hi X, just calling to let you know I think your boring and I don't want to ever see you again. Bluewolf17 Yes, who wants to do that?
taylor13 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Sometimes there is a clear reason why people poof - they found someone else, moved away, not ready to date, etc. Perhaps in these cases they could tell the other person why they don't want to (or cant) continue with the relationship. But in most cases the 'poofer' tried to give it a chance but they're just not that into it! It's something that can't really be explained, so they avoid any explanation at all. It seems unfair at first, but trust me you'd rather end a bad relationship right away rather than drag out it out for months. phineas I'm totally with you on the those people who come back after disappearing. I had a guy do that to me once, but fortunately I was not into it so I could just laugh and ignore him. I think those people are insecure and are just seeking superficial attention which to me is an even bigger slap in the face.
Odyssey Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 'Poofing'?!? I thought this was gonna be a thread on a new dating concept, like speed-dating or something. Anyway, some people do it because they don't want to deal with your response. It's the easy road, it's cowardly, and their silence tells you a lot about their character (lack of).
alphamale Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Anyway, some people do it because they don't want to deal with your response. It's the easy road, it's cowardly, and their silence tells you a lot about their character (lack of). it is not cowardly...it saves face and embarrasment for both parties involved
Chicago_Guy Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 'Poofing'?!? I thought this was gonna be a thread on a new dating concept, like speed-dating or something. Anyway, some people do it because they don't want to deal with your response. It's the easy road, it's cowardly, and their silence tells you a lot about their character (lack of). Maybe it's cowardly if you've been dating someone for a month, but I don't think it is cowardly if you "poof" after only a couple dates. Some women dislike it if you don't call them again even after just one date.
eiithan Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Maybe it's cowardly if you've been dating someone for a month, but I don't think it is cowardly if you "poof" after only a couple dates. Some women dislike it if you don't call them again even after just one date. To me it is more or less a matter of respect. I have more respect for men who can tell me straightforward that he is not interested. Yes, it hurts. On the flip side, it saves my time, his time, and everything else involved.
TaraMaiden Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 The Americans and the British - two nations divided by a common language. In the UK, a poof is a homosexual. Puts a whole different slant on this thread, as far as I'm concerned. Nice to see you've come out, at last. How did you break it to your folks?
alphamale Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 To me it is more or less a matter of respect. I have more respect for men who can tell me straightforward that he is not interested. Yes, it hurts. On the flip side, it saves my time, his time, and everything else involved. women generally don't take these kinds of things well when said straight to their face, especially if they like the guy.
BCCA Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 women generally don't take these kinds of things well when said straight to their face, especially if they like the guy. Its funny to hear women complain about 'poofing' and then defend giving out your number to guys you have no intentions of talking to...
Isolde Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 If it's been three or more dates, I think it's considerate to say something. Less than that, poofing is OK.
deux ex machina Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 The Americans and the British - two nations divided by a common language. In the UK, a poof is a homosexual. Puts a whole different slant on this thread, as far as I'm concerned. Nice to see you've come out, at last. How did you break it to your folks? * If it's been three or more dates, I think it's considerate to say something. Less than that, poofing is OK. Yes, I agree with Isolde. I wouldn't just blow anyone off I know like that. Personally, I always return calls, ect.
alphamale Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 If it's been three or more dates, I think it's considerate to say something. Less than that, poofing is OK. i would say "poofing" is acceptable up until that time when sexual activity takes place, whenever that may be....
eiithan Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 women generally don't take these kinds of things well when said straight to their face, especially if they like the guy. It's hard for both gender, especially if s/he like the guy/girl...I am still learning to accept that when the guy says no, I should take it as no without questioning further. It is harder to do when emotional attachment occurs after a certain period of time, especially if the other party gives a wrong cue via body language or spoken words. There are people who just cannot make up their minds, and I am sincerely hoping that I won't have to run into many of these people in the dating scene.
EcstasyX6 Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 women generally don't take these kinds of things well when said straight to their face, especially if they like the guy. I think a simple e-mail, stating, "this isn't going to work for me", is sufficient either way, m or f, if you don't want to call the person and hurt their feelings. Just don't leave them in limbo, especially when you can tell they liked you. If it's something about their appearance you didn't like, there's no reason to hurt their feelings, but 'poofing' is cowardly IMO.
TaraMaiden Posted October 8, 2009 Posted October 8, 2009 I think a simple e-mail, stating, "this isn't going to work for me", is sufficient Naah. Even shorter. Just send a one-word reply.... "poof!" Again, the Great Divide of the Big Pond, will depend on how it's taken, of course.... States-side, you'll get a person moving on and just accepting it. In the UK, you'll a whole new slant on whether a private e-mail constitutes libel.....
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