Sbrizio Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Not contacting her is the hardest thing i ever did in my life. I'm tempted any single day. It's more than 2 months NC (more than 3 not counting 1 casual encounter and 1 email - that was my only weakness). Every rational part of me understand the uselessness of writing her (i can't call her, i deleted her number). I could only write her what i feel, and she knows what i feel. Still, the void she left in me, or my own insecurities, or both of them, are so huge.. i can't seem to overcome them. I wrote 3 times a draft today...then i read it back and i deleted it. I tried to figure how weak would someone looks to me if i were on the other side of the screen (..). It worked. But my mind drift back to her. Constantly. I'm not letting her go. This scares the crap out of me. I manage to control my actions, but my feelings overwhelm me. I think this is why we are all here, at the end..
Limbo21 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Aw man I know how you feel! I was single for 7 years until I met the woman who (for fear of sounding mellow dramatic) broke my heart. Single cos I have an incredably high standard of a partner, thought I'd never meet anyone since my 1st love with these qualities, I did have a long relationship with another but I knew I didn't really love her and so I resigned myself to be single for the rest of my natural born I have little to offer so I don't know how I can justify my high standards but I do? I've been split less than you but I'm feeling it so hard. I know I'm depressed and I fear for most of us for how long where going to be living with this pain I will go on record to say that I never want another woman on my life again. The good times are amazing, the better the times the harder we fall I love my girl, heartbroken she doesn't feel the same and that's because of me and my immaturity I'm living but I'm not learning
GrayClouds Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Not contacting her is the hardest thing i ever did in my life. I'm tempted any single day. It's more than 2 months NC (more than 3 not counting 1 casual encounter and 1 email - that was my only weakness). Every rational part of me understand the uselessness of writing her (i can't call her, i deleted her number). I could only write her what i feel, and she knows what i feel. Still, the void she left in me, or my own insecurities, or both of them, are so huge.. i can't seem to overcome them. I wrote 3 times a draft today...then i read it back and i deleted it. I tried to figure how weak would someone looks to me if i were on the other side of the screen (..). It worked. But my mind drift back to her. Constantly. I'm not letting her go. This scares the crap out of me. I manage to control my actions, but my feelings overwhelm me. I think this is why we are all here, at the end.. Actually, it shows you how well you are doing despite the struggle. Getting out your thought and feeling is good. Seeing the Ineffectiveness of sending it is great. It shows you value your own self worth. Times like this it is hard to be selfish because every thing in your body wants to give every last drop to win them back, but being selfish and taking care of yourself is what is needed. Keep up the good work.
angelface78 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Dont break NC. I went into NC cold turkey after we broke up. We were together 5 years. The last 6 months we were engaged. I was in NC for 3 months and i totally understand what you are saying. Its sooo hard. I like you would write my feelings out and last week i dont know what got a hold of me but i broke Nc and called him. I could hear his voice craking..he was shocked to hear from me. I asked him questions like how could he be with someone else after our 5 year relationship. I asked him if he was over me. He just stayed quiet. In the end i got no answers. Dont break NC its not worth it. I feel pathetic for doing it. Nothing we say will change their minds...its sad but true. They know how we feel. If they wanted to be with us they would be with us. Stay strong....you should be proud of yourself. Dont contact her...dont make the mistake i made ;(
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