Hkizzle Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 So I spoke to a female friend of mine last night about why her MSN status said: "Y do you keep on obssessing over me?" I asked her about the guy, and what he was like. So said he was funny and a nice guy, but she didn't like him. I said fair enough, and it might be to do with the fact he's obssessing over you. But can you give me the exactly reasons why you don't like him? Be honest here because I know how some girls just don't want to be mean. She says no.........but it's not because she's trying to be nice, she honestly doesn't who why she doesn't like the guy. How can you not know why you don't like someone? When I don't like a girl I know exactly why. She's too fat, or ugly, she's boring or has nothing to say, she's slutty or mentally unstable, she was clingy or a bitch. HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?
mortensorchid Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 I can tell you why I don't like someone. They can come off as needy or clingy. Some can come off as condescending or angry about things. Some really hate women even though they don't know it. Some are just plain dumb. And some are so vain and self centered its ridiculous. And others still are just unattractive, practice marginal grooming habits at best, and, quite honestly, overweight. Looking at those reasons sound like the same as the gal in question you were asking about before. Guess it's not so deep, is it?
Roxanna Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 I usually know why I don't like someone. However, when you meet someone who is good looking and has other things going for them, and you probably SHOULD like them...but you just don't? And you have no idea why not? Just no chemistry, or bad chemistry. Simple.
alphamale Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW? women play the dating game (along with other things) by using their "feelings" and "intuition", ergo they may honestly not know the specific reason.
caramel c Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 women play the dating game (along with other things) by using their "feelings" and "intuition", ergo they may honestly not know the specific reason. Exactly. It is hard to explain the feeling or lack thereof into words.
Author Hkizzle Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 I usually know why I don't like someone. However, when you meet someone who is good looking and has other things going for them, and you probably SHOULD like them...but you just don't? And you have no idea why not? Just no chemistry, or bad chemistry. Simple. This along with what alpha male said are both true. I think there's a lot of subconscious processes going on that the woman herself is not aware of. It's not simply about chemistry, but she just attributes the lack of chemistry as the reason. In reality I think she's subconsciously found the male low in value because he was chasing too hard. Or it could do with the pheromones aspect. If two people are too genetically similar in terms of immune system then they will tend to find each other unattractive.
sweetjasmine Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 I get vibes from people right away, and it sometimes takes me a little while to figure out why people left certain impressions on me. So, yes, I can dislike someone and not pinpoint the exact reason why. I don't think that's unusual.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 women play the dating game (along with other things) by using their "feelings" and "intuition", ergo they may honestly not know the specific reason. For once, I can completely, 100% agree with alpha, here. Women are guided by their feelings, and so it's not always easy to articulate the REASONS (being thought/rationale-based) behind the feelings. As a female, I can admit to being irrational at times. ****ing feelings. Let's get around the campfire and sing kumbaya.
sb129 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 it could do with the pheromones aspect. If two people are too genetically similar in terms of immune system then they will tend to find each other unattractive. AKA "no chemistry"
Author Hkizzle Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 AKA "no chemistry" yup, absolutely. I was going a long way around to get to the point, and see what others had to say. But that's the interesting point though. So much of attraction is biological and totally irrational, totally different from the rigid rules that society prescribes, yet so many people try to give rational advice for something that could be as simple as.........you smell like crap to someone with an immune system the same as yours.
Trialbyfire Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) To clarify scientific attraction a bit more, it's not about compatibility or incompatibility of immune systems that impact on attraction. It's more likely that people with a greater variance of DNA will end up finding each other attractive, thus, preventing inbreeding and also producing a boost to the immune systems of their potential progeny. But this thread isn't solely about sexual attraction. Sometimes there are people who you take an immediate dislike to and can't figure it out until much later. Most often, you never figure it out unless you're forced into their company on many occasions, since you don't normally put any focus on a passing meet and greet. Edited October 7, 2009 by Trialbyfire
Star Gazer Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 To clarify scientific attraction a bit more, it's not about compatibility or incompatibility of immune systems that impact on attraction. It's more likely that people with a greater variance of DNA will end up finding each other attractive, thus, preventing inbreeding and also producing a boost to the immune systems of their potential progeny. That sounds so robotic, and I actually totally disagree anyway. There are several studies out there that show that we are actually more attracted to those who we are similar, not different. That said, like some others said, Alpha is right. Not everything can be distilled down to science, numbers and data. A woman's intuition can be a powerful thing.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 That sounds so robotic, and I actually totally disagree anyway. There are several studies out there that show that we are actually more attracted to those who we are similar, not different. That said, like some others said, Alpha is right. Not everything can be distilled down to science, numbers and data. A woman's intuition can be a powerful thing. Could you please cite them? I've never heard that. We are drawn to someone whose MHC or major histocompatability is most different from our own. Mixing two different gene pools makes the most sense - it increases the chances of beating the odds of disease. Think of it this way - purebred dogs have more disease issues than mutts for the most part. This is because of the mixing in a mutt - it allows a greater variability in their DNA. For instance, German Shepherds have hip/joint problems. Border Collies have eye problems. Etc, etc. It's the same in people. Studies have been done where your siblings give off a certain scent that makes you NOT attracted to them - because your DNA is too similar. Breeding with someone that's similar to you wouldn't make any sense. http://www.divinecaroline.com/22081/42913-science-sex--nose-know-/ By comparing the DNA of the women and men, the researchers found that women didn’t just choose their favorite scent randomly. They preferred the scent of man whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC)—a series of genes involved in our immune system—was most different from their own. http://www.smartplanet.com/technology/blog/thinking-tech/dna-dating-passes-smell-test/576/ http://genepartner.com/uploads/press/89dna-dating-passes-smel-test.pdf The more gene diversity between two people, the more like they are to enjoy a healthy relationship and reproductive success. http://www.familyhelix.com/articles/compatibility-and-attraction/index.php In her study, Garver-Apgar surveyed and conducted DNA tests on 48 romantically involved couples. In couples with similar MHC genes, women were more likely to be attracted to other men during the most fertile part of their cycle. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-428776/Have-solved-mystery-mutual-attraction.html http://www.shseyeofthestorm.com/features/studies-show-science-behind-attraction/comment-page-1/ Each person’s pheromone level is different due to differences in DNA. A 1996 study by Sarah Richardson shows that females prefer men whose genes are the least similar to their own. In an experiment, men were given an unscented T-shirt and were asked to wear it for two nights in a row. During this time they didn’t use deodorants or scented soaps. After, women were presented with six shirts– three from men with similar genes, and three from men with different genes from their own. The results showed that the women preferred the scents of men whose genes were different from their own. The scent of men with similar genes often remind the women of a relative’s odor, such as a brother or father, while the smells of dissimilar men would often remind them of a past or current boyfriend. Your hypothesis is the one that doesn't make any sense, SG.
HGP Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 How can you not know why you don't like someone? When I don't like a girl I know exactly why. She's too fat, or ugly, she's boring or has nothing to say, she's slutty or mentally unstable, she was clingy or a bitch. HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW? Men and women are totally different this way. For a man, if he's with someone who looks good, has great conversation, and has qualities he's looking for, that's pretty much all there is to it. For women, there's this whole other mysterious, elusive thing called chemistry. It's a foreign concept to men but to women it trumps everything else. That guy could be perfect for your friend, including the DNA stuff, but if he can't make her feel chemistry he's getting nowhere.
Author Hkizzle Posted October 7, 2009 Author Posted October 7, 2009 Men and women are totally different this way. For a man, if he's with someone who looks good, has great conversation, and has qualities he's looking for, that's pretty much all there is to it. For women, there's this whole other mysterious, elusive thing called chemistry. It's a foreign concept to men but to women it trumps everything else. That guy could be perfect for your friend, including the DNA stuff, but if he can't make her feel chemistry he's getting nowhere. The irony is chemistry can be artificially created using the right techniques.
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